MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

Waikato Argus, Volume IX, Issue 771, 4 October 1900, Page 4

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

A lad only eight years of age, mimed Percy Davis, has been seut to seven days' imprisonment for sti-aliug a peunywoath of gooseberries at Colchester.

The following was heard in New Plymouth : —"An' ie it Gineritls ye culls 'em. In my opinion if it hadn't bin for auld Bobs, Kruger ud 'ave bin preaching in St. Paul's Cathedral by this time."News.

That erratic commodity, flax, whose fluctuations in tho market c ! iusu all who have auythiug to do with it constant anxiety, has just now fallen to £l3, at which figure there is absolutely nothing left for the miller. Unless an immediate revival takes place the local mills will have to shut down.—Bay of Plenty Tim6s.

The scarcity of farm labourers will be acute in Dorset this harvest-tide ; but a remedy has been suggested with the object of affording the farmers some assistance. Tommy Atkins is to be the • handy man' to the rescue. The officer commanding the depot at Dorchester issued a public announcement that he will be propared to give favourable consideration to applications from farmers for the use of soldiers in the harvest fields of the district.

At the Magistraten's Court at Christchurch, the Lyttelton Times reports, a girl, when applying for a maintenance order against the father of her illegitimate child, stated that her parents had turned her out of their house, and that she was at present living in the Salvition Army Home. Mr Beutham asked her if her parents went to church, and when she said that they were constant attendants, the Magistrate remarked that it was remarkable how ofton the people who made the loudest profession of religion were the very last to follow the teaching of the Great Master, and extend a helping hand to those in trouble.

".Banjo" Paterson thus relates Kitchener's narrow escape from capture by De Wet:—Kitchener was with a force that was guarding the line, and went to sleep in a house about a mile from the main body. De Wet attacked them in the night, and if he had known Kitchener was in the house he must have got him. As it was, the great K. came running into camp at top speed, shouting •' Buller! Buller!" every ten yards. Buller was the countersign for the night, and he thought it as well to let the pickets know that io was not a Boer coming along in such a hurry. If De Wet had got him it would have been a great set off against Cronje.

A rather singular incident occurred at Messrs Whatman's property, Abbotsford, says the Wairurapa Daily Times. Close on the bank of the river there are growing two trees, the stems of which, crossing each other, form a fork* A bullock grazing in the viciuity was attracted by some green herbage, and put its head through the fork to enable it to get the tempting bite. Just then a portion of the river bank gave way, taking away the ground from under the bullock's feet, and its head was thus caught in the fork, causing strangulation. A local photographer has secured a picture of the rather extraordinary position in which the bullock was found dead.

Apropos of trial by jury, a good story is told in the lobbies (says the Parliamentary correspondent of the Star). In a northern town lately a man was charged with an offence, arid such a clear case was made out that the Judge said in so many words that no comment was necessary. To his surprise a verdict of not guilty was almost immediately returned. Asked by a visitor to the place to explain tho inconsistent finding, the foreman coolly replied : " Well you see, the prisoner was ' one of the boys.' Had we said guilty he would have gone up for a couple of years, and the local football club would have been deprived of the services of one of their best backs." No wonder Gilbert and Sullivan satirised our jury system.

The captain of one of the vessels which took a troop over to South Africa, writing to a Wellington merchant, says : —" 1 myself most certainly consider it a big mistake to send veterinary surgeons on board these vessels with shipments of horses. All these veterinaries think about is having a good time. If a horse does get at all sick, and requires some little attention, they invariably treat him to a dose of chloroform, and have him put overboard to save trouble. But one of the horses which the vet. treated on board my vessel recovered, where there were many sick, but the fact was kept secret from the veterinary surgeon, and the man in charge, who did know something about horses, treated them, and they recovered and were landed safe and well."

Thus Mr Labouchere, in Truth : —I would teach in all schools the elements of astronomy. Our sun is a thirdrate sun, situated in the milky way, ono of myriads of stars, and the milky way is itself one of myriads oi sectional star accumulations, for these seem to be countless, and to spread over infinity. At some period of their existence each of these suns have planets circling round it, which, after untold ages, are fit for some sort of human beings to inhabit them for a comparatively brief period, after which they still continue tor years to circle round without atmostphere, vegetation, or inhabitants, as the moon does round our planet. There is nothing so calculated to take the conceit out of an individual who thinks himself an important unit in the universe, as astronomy. It teaches that we are less, compared with the universe, than a colony of ants is to us, and that the difference between men is lesa than that between one ant and another.

In the north of England, where rabbit-coursing is much in vogue, swift, well-trained dogs often win large sums in prizes. It is therefore little x to be wondered at that the owners of'these animals should bestow so mush attention upon them. An old Yorkshire collier, well-known for his success in tho coursing field, recently surprised all his mates by marrying a very unprepossessing woman. He had always been reckoned a confirmed hater of the other sex. " Why has ta gone and got spliced, lad, at thy age?" one of his friends asked him. " Oh, that's not much of a tale," answered the old man, stolidy. " I a«ree wi' ye 'at Betsy yonder is no beauty—if she had been I shouldn't have wed her. But there dog o' mine, he was simply pinin'for somebody to look after him while I was away at t' pit. I couldn't bear to leave him in the house by hissen, so I hit on the idea of marryin' Betsy. She's not handsome, but she's mighty eood company for the dog.

A Christchurch Press reporter visited an opium den in the Cathedral City, and this is what one of the Chinamen told him :—" There are two dens in Christchurch to which Chinese come to smoke opium, this and the other place. I suppose there are about 30 or 40 of 'em smoke, but only about six can't give it up and must have then/pipe. Some Euro[leans used to come here, but don't come now. One fellow smoked lor about 18 years and then gave it up. tie took pills and things. Two young ladies—goodlooking, well-dressed young ladies came round here recently and asked old for a smoke. He wouldn't give it to 'em, and they begged him to. They said they hadn't had a smoke since they left Sydney, and wanted one bad. Old was frightened to let 'em smoke on the premises, and told 'cm the police wouldn't let him. They went on begging him until he sold 'em a pipe lor 18s and 10a worth of opium. We haven't seen 'em since. Can't pay if they'll come back for more.