"BOTHER THE LAWS!"

Tuapeka Times, Volume XLVII, Issue 6395, 23 September 1916, Page 1

"BOTHER THE LAWS!"

Stories Told by a Witty Dean. Perhaps one of the best stories told Ijy the late Or Pigou, Dean of Bristol, ami who liail the reputation of being one of the -brightest humorists in the Church, was that concerning the quaint verger of the old parish church at Halifax, whwe he was at one time vicar. The The verger on one occasion made hi in marry unconsciously an old man to his dead wife's sister before the passing of the Deceased Wife's Sister Act. He remonstrated with the verger, whu replied : " It was just this way do you sec ; one of the parties was SI and t'other 80. X says to myself, ' It can't last long ; let 'cm wed, and bother the laws !' " Another of Dr l'igou's favourite stories related to a temperance lecture. The lecturer brought with him a tumbler of water, which he had procured from a pond covered with duckweed, containing the familiar animalculae, freshwater shrimps, diminutive eels, shellfish, etc. Holding up the glass, the lecturer descanted on its contents, and proceeded to say: "Now, my s frjends, watch the deadly eifect of alcohol. The moment I. drop a drop of alcohol into this tumbler all the creatures die." At this a' woman shouted Out : " Eh ! my word ! if tha't what spirits does with the creatures, I'll always take care and put some iu water I drinks ! " The lecturer collapsed. 1 It was Dr. Pigou, too, who used to ' tell the story of an encounter between Dr. Whatloy, at one time Archbishop of Dublin, and a young aide-de-camp, who at dinner asketl, " Does your Grace' know the difference between an Archbishop and an ass?" "Sir, I do not,'.' answered Dr. Whatlcy. '' One wears the cross on his mitre, the other wears it on his back,'' explained the tactless officer. " Do you know the difference botween an aide-de-camp and an ass ?" asked the Archbishop, calmly, in return. " Xo, your Grace, I do not," was the reply. " Neither do I," said his Grace, and the ade-de-caiup was crushed.