DUNEDIN LETTER.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XL, Issue 5594, 28 November 1908, Page 4

DUNEDIN LETTER.

MOwn Correspondent.) "BraVjb Tuapeka ! Rejoicing I salute th^ ! After all these years— how many I&should not care to say, Tuapeka has forsaken the nVshpots of MinisteAfelism and tho 'brand new up- 1 to-datefc latest-.- edition of Seclomian i Liberaustn, and Iras gone over to tKe high- th^king and plain living, the hoimelywfare of locusts and spring water t|uat are the diet and the lot of sound politics, rational conduct, and economical administration. > Hooray ! " Waiiris the true blue patiiotnow? and "vjjnsat's come 6vcr the charter of freedonK presented by that hunuuritatoian with his > own hands iin-| noimcing to the .Bussiari tyrant, the GermaAa autocrat and the New Zealand .Tory that hencefovHi and forever Tuapeka was within the magic circle oj| UHJraPCaohable patriotism and tmadultealed-^nap-docwlle ? :' | Of GoSrse it is but fitting thai with i my war whoop of joy thero should, j be bli-:ngt.>d a wail of despair. With ( tears arid groans T admit that Lawrence — tihe. - town 6ver . which T have shed mbre rays of light than the cili- | yens ot*" Dunedin have been able to get frdih their £300.000 'Waipori investment — Lawrence, like the foolish virgin ,th at she is, is outside the door. tShe forsook Tuapr&a" for Rry.ce, and sc^she cannot "stoavoMlie honour of plumping, an. opposition vote on her own. "ixueV" Bruce, is Opposition, but Bruce Always has been. Thorp is no compensating ,glory there. The sad truth ¥ehviTns- that' lh.° dnv after Lawrence ,hud quitted the iVld my toacl^gs^liegan to,, \york, my wisdom wasj^pi^fet'erl. 'hV|Kp}rilo«?opl>y bore fruM I saw and reaped of the travail of fgiy labours and was partly satisfied Tuar-eka, like a slrony man rnjoieing to be free, danced a hilarious cawan,fi^rer the. charter of her dearly puraiased^' liberties to shreds and shJuteUiv-^-fiiteat Scott— all hail." Bujifwith this Lawrence, as such, had nossrht to • do. . ! alas ! for Lawrence ! '.Eliore came into many a voter's * pate A 3^ text which says "if you don't Sj- vote straight Vpu must get your drinks at MosjC giel." 4»1 Lawrence did was to ro '' -' • wlmt Tuapena did was to kill the last rc&iant of Seddonism ami to [jury thg corpse (private interment, bourjHJiSts declined). In Dun'idin, Nor Ui wo had some rare fum The gay "'rind sprightly, the dashing| ami confident, the hillarious and o^llcnt A'.Pt.B. was rolled m the, diat, dipped in the Leith, dropiieil frsln the tram-/ car (parabolicly, of course), and, finally, sat on. He has n<i| cantered home a winner. At this liOTir of writing he is one vote ahead, tHSnks to three intelligent seamen. wfib don't live in Dunedin, and to tho absence of at least 40 last week univalßity student supporters of Mr THpmson. Puffing, defiant, chiding, CrfTl|rulous, amazed, 'indignant, irritatc(M" everything by turns and nothing lofijg/' he, the only member who had a gyery brass 'and brassy band turn §to meet him, when like a oonxfuerhero he returned from Wellington ere he had voted four times for Second Ballot Bill and kept the Hfl|r. or rag. of Labor flying in the fayfie of the Minister of ConoiKation). he, T say, has had the iron eating info his soul with big bites these liiqny days pastOh. gratitude, where art thou ? Aftfefe' all'Mr Barclay had done for you ! ""Please do not ask for particulars, "i^QiTmust- accept my word for some"- " thing, lam your representative^ — "'moralry. that is— and I am entitled "t6 he so. Can't you see what I " haye^one ? Why, Labour, and- 1 are" 1 " on e^a',; double cherry, seeming part- " cd. Hojv can you vote for the oth"erohaps? (excuse my eollorfuial- " ismsv. old. man). All the .beneficent " reforms introduced by the late Mr "R. J. Seddon ' had- been opposed '^■tfoth and nail by the Opposition u .,party. These reforms include such " vital and humane measures as the ""Old 'Age* Pensions, Advances to Set- " tiers, the Arbitration and Conrilia- " tion Act, besides a lio«t of others " for* $her welfare of the masses, and " it wasT v a^so'lutely certain that if the Opposition party ware to came into 'VpoAvef again its first step would be '" to annul or to render void much '' of the work in progress." Then, sir, is- Mr A. E. B after tKe" declaration of the first ballot. That is how we are taught constitutional history up-to-date by a hl£rh authority. For, it's greatly to his credit That he himself has said it. Chorus. — Which nobody will deny. Some might call these bombastics " terminological inexactitudes/ others might cut the thin^ short by using a WQPtLoi only three letters. I prefer to re-write them and to hold them up. like the statue' of Horatius, so high that all folks may see them and laugh or use naughty words. Shades of the departed ; wandering ghosts by the shores of Styx ; spirits in the great beyond ; Bradshaw, Atkinson, Dowjriej^tewart., Eolleston, by whatsoever name' men "knelw thoe, do vo hoar tt'hat Mr Ar ' Hr B. is savin' of you ? Itffftaer? after the Second Ballot poll. hoTfever, that he rose to jet sublimit heights. Then we had « • at Ms sle*st,i .bubbling up. frothii^r; foaming ixntl""' running over. "Gentlemen^ I tell you plainly I shan't play atrajii. If 1, am counted out this timia you won't catbh me so easily. I should not be surprised if it did not lak|| a great deal of pressure on your past te^' get *me -to come out. You ha^ acted detrimentally to your own into-estS. Even a worm will turn, let nloge a Benten by two votes! Mein Qo>tk? gentlemen, what do you Ukl m^S for, Me ? ME ? A reed s-hajien*' by the wind ? I guess not. Am§ I'notthe acknowledged leader of my? own party (plenty 'of vacancies for*'asjDki|ig youth) and you turn me r'ojhiTiTte fats'! Oh, 'I warn you wa|»n you that you are losing the chance of your lifetime and you won't, y°M shan't^ get me again so cheaply. "Brupl, hiidiStious Don Alfonso, I didn't think you'd daro go on, so." (See daily press Wednesday, November 2of under the- hesfcling "'Mr Barclay Expostulates.") ; ' . A-ud. then,, there is Mr Thomsonnog afr^iMß'.B'sf'formidable rival, but thf? Eevd. William. He is in retrc, T '!feL.£reer Fox he is lyin' low and sa^ißg* nttffin . ~ Recuperating, doubtless. He needs it. No thanks-giving 'services "there. No sermons, and precjous little soda water. Nothing but contejnglaiion, reminsicences, and .Summation Ef. Where be your fifers flow ? Ah me J Ah" me ! Mow quick nnA swift the drop from battles magniliciently stern array to the humiliating obscurity of a forced peace. Not that the Eevd. William did badly, for the children of this world are much wiser than the children of lig-ht. And brothers bung, beer, and ho'oze afe certainly of this world. Listen. At least.- a month- or so beJore the electioii Bevd. William ,iad his engagement with the L.V.A. (large and variegated assortment) renewed, sealed, signed and settled for a riurthor period of three years at— it is whispered— an annual salany of £{500 • l J refl w-ir NN ° t | bad , is it? ' oh wißC, iXffle William » and so oheaj), too Why, the, jtfhole post of the late hurly , burly which in th? last weeks includ- ' ed the services of 16 clerks at £3 10r, a -week, was only- £3000 and a.- trifle jver. Surely that - isn't mucE ? Besides, see what they (who are they ?)