A Joking Woman.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1902, 4 June 1892, Page 2 (Supplement)

A Joking Woman.

" Now you say that you have always been a loving and faithful wife and that your husband has no cause fur complaint, do you ?'' asked a lawyer of a woman opposing her husband's petition for a divorce. " Yes, sir ; 1 do say that very thing," wbb therpply. "Yon never threw sticks of wood at him, or hot water over him, did you ?" " Or-, 1 don't know, but I may ha^'H doire that once or twice in a playful wj." "O!i, you did? Ami where ynu joking vvht'n yon rhfisrd him all over the bouse with n red-hot pel.-or V " Ya, I was ; and he knows it, too. ' "Didn't you sew him np in the bedclothes one night and pound vim with a club ?" " Well, now, the idea of a man trying to cet a divorcement from his own lovin' wife for i\ little j«'«J:e like that I" " Oh, so tluvt was a joko too, eh V Was it intended for a, jok". when you knocked him down the cellar and threw three flat-irons after him?" "Of course it was. I always was a joky bind of a woman." " I shoul.i say so. You thought it a joke when you locked him out of the house witb the thermometer below zero and he had to sleep in the hen- roost. That was a joke, eh ?" " Pshaw, now ! He's gone and told you of that little caper of mine, has he? Well, hs never could take a joke, nohow." " A few more of your jokes would have Killed him." The judge thought so, too, and gave the man his " bill " whereupon his spouse of the past said : "The idee of a man bein' allowed a divorcement from the true and lovin' wife of his be-zzum for a few little jokes like that. There ain't no justice in it." Any good shoofcio' on jour farm?" asked the hunter of the farmer. " Splendid," replied the granger, " there is a wind-mill man down in tho ckver meadow, a book agent a* the hoiiEC, a candidate out in the barn, and two tramps down in the stock yard. Climb right over the fence, load botb barreUani sail in." " BEN-Mt-cnREE " meane " my dear girl " in the original Celtic dialect, but all the sann, t fellow don't wapt to call his beEt ciri "Be?-my-chree," even if Bhs ii liiah. It has rained only twioe in 29 years ia Aden, and then only enough to lay the dusr. The last time it rained was in 18S8, after 26 years of drought. In the raisin belt of the San Jonqnin Valley, Cal., the growers are obliged to ensploy Chinese laborers exclusively. The has; is bo intenße that even negroes tre unable to bear it.