A Railroad Accident.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XXIV, Issue 1888, 16 April 1892, Page 2 (Supplement)

A Railroad Accident.

He had come in that morning from Bendigo aod was taking an after breakfast Bmoke at the Cadillac with a Fitzroy fiiend. "By George," remarked the friend, glanoing over the morning paper, •' another railroad wreck. Did you ever see anything like it ?'

•• No," was the reply, " beoause there was never anything like it to see,"

" Did any aooident happen to yon on your way here ?" "Yes." "You don't say?" "Yes. I do." "Did you get hurt!" "No, thank Heaven, we oame through safely." " What wa3 the nature of the accident ?"' 11 Coming through safely." "How? I don't understand," and the fjiend rubbed his head for thought. " Why, under the circumstances, it was an accident that we came through without any. See?"

Then the other man kicked himself in tbe calves of the legs for revenge and went out to gag some other fellow.

Hungry Higgings': "If you kin do a little towards helpin' a' poor man lookin' for work—-" '

Citizen: " Here's a dime for you, but I don't believe you would know what work was if you should happen to meet it."

Hungry Higgins: "Wouldn't I? My friend, if you'd had the practice in dodgin' work that I've had you'd know it a mile away."

Spoken Unawares. — They were making lemonade, and the prettiest girl of the party asked :

"Where is Jack L— — ? I want him to help us."

"Why do you want him?" asked her friend.

•• Because," was the artless answer, ' he's such a good squeezer !"

Patrick—'' Begorra, Bridget, thim potatoes vfz pound in' is jist loike meself." , Bridget — " Now what does yez mane by that, Patrick ODontvan ?"

Patrick— '• Ooh, no sooner did they git their eyeß on ye than they was mashed."

Tommy— "Pa, may I ask you a question?" Pa— •• Certainly, my child." Tommy— "Where is the wind when it doesn't blow ?"