TriGes Light as Air.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XXII, Issue 1629, 5 October 1889, Page 2 (Supplement)

TriGes Light as Air.

Single stickers— One penny stamps. 11 Get oat o' here," said the hen to the ohina egg. '* You don't belong- to my set." There is no reason in the world why a " baby show" shouldn't be a howling success. Learn tha brick-mason's trade if you wish an occupation in which you can lay up something. Agent: "Is your new house a Queen Anno 1" Owner: "Yea; Queen Anne in front and Mary Ann in the rear." Mkaltiue caller : " When do you dine ?'' Precocious liuSJe daughter : " Wo »lway3 have to wait till oallera go. I'm getting awful hungry." Miss Winegab (pointedly): "None but the brave, Mr. Hare, deserve the fair." Mt.Q&ve; " sT&ii6 btti the kr^ve p»x» !»y? with eom<j of than," " I'm AWPDiiLt sorry, don'S yon know, that these Knickerbockers are not more iho fashion. Gives a felkr an opportunity of showing a calf." " Oh, yous conversation dcea that 1" CoNsroEßijHJ all tho valuable advioa thai the newspapers ot this country give to tnj legislators of this country, it is astonishing that this country isn't govaraed batter than it is. I Free loncher : " Youz radishes aro rather stale, Mr. Ligcr." Mr. Lager: "They wsr9 fresh enoujjb when you began at that lunch-counter. Get out of here." " Aw, old follow, what aro you thinking • ' about?" " Nothing whatevah. I nevah think. I I'd a bore to think, don't you think ?" •' Never thought of it, I'm suah," Lixti/e Bella : " Mr. Squire, do drink yetsr tea. I ana awfully acsioua io see you drick." Mr. Squire: "What makea you anxious, dear V Little Balla : " Ob, ma said yon drank like afbh." Excuse mo, bat lam in a hurry," said the spirits of a departed great pan, mectiog some friends' wraisha in midair. I want to present my credentials before my portrait gets in ihe papers." Mr. Bdief : " Your uncle has directed in his will that you shall have one shilling." Mr. Spendthrift: '-Good, kind uncle 1" (In sud'k-n alarm.) " Ara you sure, Mr. Uric?, it isn't oountarfeit?" Husband : " Wife, I wish you had been born wiib &a good judgment as I, but I fear you were not." Wife: "You are right. Oar choice of partners for lifo convinces me that your judgoiect is muah better than mine." ' Siiuxgzb (so man on aorcer}; " 1 beg your pardon,- bat can yau direct mo 50 police Head' quartEiß?" Mia on corner (unsteadily): "No, bat if you wait (bio) 'round here few min'ta (hie) 'il see pleeceman d'reok me there." 11 Claiu," he whispered ardently, " do you think you could bring yourself to marry mo 1" " No, George," she answered, with a eadl little stnile. " I couldn't very well bring myself ; I'm so timid. You might bring me, though, George." Miss Plaijjuh : " That horrid M«. Buta actually has her photograph for sale in tho stationers' shops. I oouldn't do euoh a thing under any consideration." Her bitterest friend : " You haven't the face, to, have you, dew?" Bright boy : " I'm a chip of the old blocfr,, ain't 1, pa?" Pond Father : " Yes, ray son." B. B.: " An' you'te the head ©' the i&ia% v 6in't yoa, pa 2" F. F.: "Yes, my eon." B. B.: " Then you're a blookhead, aiu'& you, pa ?" Johnson : " Dai's a mighty pore dawg c* yours, Yallerby. He's bones moa' stick on* f rough he's skin." Yallerby: "Huhl Dai'ejeswhadmekhia* a good wateh-dawg. lie kain't lie doiro wivcut burtin' ob hisself." Mrs. Hendblck's: " Bertie, your mothac I-j calling you." Bert^fcEEor : «« Yes'm, I know it. Bss I ' gces3 6b<n!oG't want me ycrj bad." Mr. Hendricke : (t She called you seves ticaes already." Bertij Tetser : «« Yes, I know ; bat sh»