CHAPTER LII.
" I CANJJOT SIN FOR YOU 1" " I always had a chivalrous idea of women," continued Lord Carsdale ; " I cannot understand the men who make little of them and speak against them. Ailie, I did not love you, but when I saw you weeping in such distress, frightened at your uncle, frightened at your parents, frightened at the. world, at the darkness, at once my heart was touched with pity. I would have given anything to have helped you. I was but an ignorant foolish simple boy, and* I said to myself that as my imprudence had brought you to the brink of something terrible, I muet at any cost save you. Tha most honorable thing which ocoured to me," he went on, with dignified simplicity, " was that I should marry you." ''I remember it all so well, she replied, with a shudder that made her tremble. " Then, you see, Ailie, when I decided that I was ignorant and foolish, I never thought of the consequences ; all that I did think of was that you must be rescued from an unpleasant situation ; that afterward I must either greatly anger and distress my parents, or that I mast keep my marriage secret, did not at the time occur to me ; that I was not marrying for love, and that afterward I might possibly find some one to love, never occurred to me. Ailie, may God pardon my recklessness, but I believe honestly I married with far less thought than I should have given to the choosing of even a trifle like a riding-whip. My own sole idea? was to save you from any unpleasant consequences, then "
She looked tip at him with grave anxiety deepening on her beautiful face. " Then ? " she said, quietly. "I am afraid to hear the rest, Lord Carsdale." —
" It is not pleasant, but it must be told," he said. " I married you, Ailie, and you know weia^oWßltn 'gootffl&MHß fSftsff'flTO been no mention of love, no attempt at deception ; you were saved from the consequences of my imprudence, and that was all." " Yes," she replied, sadly, " that was all." " Then, Ailie, I had time to reflect, and I saw at once that I had done a terrible deedone whioh, if known, would out me off forever from those I loved at home. I argued in this way with myself — that for them to know of it would cause them bitter anger, bitter regrets, almost despair, and would part me from parents whom I love, as you knpw. You have heard my mother's ideas on the subject." "Yes," said Ailie, sadly, "I know them well." " Then, I thought, I did not love you, you did not love me, and it would never matter to either of us that we seldom saw each other. I fancied that if I made you quite comfortable, so far as the things of the world were concerned, you would not trouble much about me, nor I about you." "But in this you were mistaken," said Ailie. " I neither wanted money, nor any other comfort ; it was simply that I loved you."' " I did' not know it — I never thought of it ; I never thought of love in connection with either of us," he replied. ".I had not given much thought to love at all ; but, Ailie, when I had left you with your friends and came home here to Koseneath, I fell in love -for the first and only time in my life." She held up her hands as though he had i struck her a terrible blow. "Do not say that I " she cried. For God's dear sake, do not say that ! " "It is true," he replied. " I must tell you. Ailie ; I would spare you all knowledge of it, if I could ; I would refrain from telling you, if I could ; but you most hear my story, Ailie, or you cannot judge. I will not hide even one thought from you. I met Lady Ethel— it is five years ago ; she was beautiful then as she is now, and I loved her the first moment that I saw her ; there was no help for it ; but, Ailie, I remembered also that there was a barrier between us." The fair young face had grown deadly pale ; the sweet, sensitive lips were quivering like the lips of a grieved child. "Tell me, Lord Carsdale," Bhe said, "did she— did Lady Ethel like you ? " " I will tell you the whole truth. I know now that she loved me. We parted, and I quite believed that before I returned to England she -would be married and have forgotten all about me. But I find that for five years she has loved me, and has been true to her memory of me." "So have I," said Ailie. " Oh, my love ! my love ! she cannot have cared for you, or have thought more of you, than I have done." Then there was silence ; but the leaves on the trees did not tremble as she did ; the face of a dead woman oould not have been whiter than hers. " Ailie," said Lord Carsdale, •_' I have asked j you to meet me here to-night because I am going to put my life, more than my life, in your hands. I confess to you that I love Lady Ethel — that from all the world she is my one chosen love, and she loves me." She raised her hands again with a low moan. "Be pitiful to me," she said ; " I cannot hear suoh words and live. Yoa have no meroy, Lord Carsdale." He was silent for a few minutes; then, very gently and very kindly, he said : "If you really wish me to say no more, Ailie, I will be silent ; but I prefer to speak. It pains me more to speak than it pains you to listen." " Tell me all," she said ; " I must hear it some time, why not now ? You love Lady Ethel, and she loves you. But for the barrier between you — my most wretched sell — yon woold, oh ! so gladly, ask her to be your wife. It is so, Lord Carsdale ? " (2b be continued.)
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Bibliographic details
Tuapeka Times, Volume XVIII, Issue 1183, 26 September 1885, Page 5
Word Count
1,029CHAPTER LII. Tuapeka Times, Volume XVIII, Issue 1183, 26 September 1885, Page 5
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