A PAISLEY WEAVER IN ENGLAND.

Tuapeka Times, Volume XVIII, Issue 1180, 16 September 1885, Page 3

A PAISLEY WEAVER IN ENGLAND.

A Paisley weaver returned from a trip to London. He was recounting his adventures, aud was asked if he had been in any of the English kirks. " Aye, I wis that : I wis in ane o' them, an' it wis enough!" "How's that?" " Od man, ib wis perfec* ridiculous the way they used me." " Did they ill-use you?" "Listen, an, I'll tell you a' aboot ib. Weel, ye see, I gaed in, an' I askel for a sate, an' the man put me intae ane in the middle o' the kirk richb foment the pulpit. It wis marked ' free,' an' I saw a' the folk lookin' at me. I wis kin' o' angry tae see them glowrin', but I said naething. la a wee the session-house door opens, an' in comes a minister, wi' a white shirt on, an' mm' ye the queer thing was, he had red r/alloioses, an' he rins up intae the pulpit an he looks doon a*i me, an' he cries oot, "Lord ha'e mercy on us." Gosh, d'ye ken, I got angry, but before I could say a word another door opens an' in comes anither ane ; he had on a white shirfc tae, bub only he had blue gallowses, an' he rins up intae anitber pulpit, an' looks down at me an' cries oot, "Lord ha'e mercy on us." Man d'ye ken, I could ha'e struck him on the nose, but their wis waur than that ; a' the congregation got up an' looked ower at me an' cried oot, " Lord ha'e mercy on us." I could staun it nae longer, but [ got up an' cried oot, " Lord ha'e mercy on us !! ! Did ye never see a Paisley weaver afore ?"