FOURTEENMILE BEACH. (from our own Correspondent.)

Tuapeka Times, Volume III, Issue 146, 24 November 1870, Page 6

FOURTEENMILE BEACH. (from our own Correspondent.)

November 16th, 1870.

You must think, from my long silence, that 1 had forgotten my promise to keep you posted in matters pertaiuing to this district ; but the fact is, the river this last winter has given us such, a dressing, that it takes us a'l our time sluicing, to prevent a southerly wind from gettiag into our tucker bags ; and, moreover, I was waiting for our old friend Pumperuirkles to fulfil his promise of spending a few days with us ; and as the old man has just arrived, I hasten to give you a resume of our doings since I last wrote to you.

The all-absorbing topics in this locality are the long-continued drought, the races, and the forthcoming elections. The first, I am glad to say, is at an end, for while I write, the rain is pelting down gloriously, refreshing the parched ground and sickly-looking herbage, and giving promise of plentiful crops and a season of abundance.

Of the races, I can only say the stewards are sparing no trouble, to make the meeting p.iss off with eclat — njLj, they have even ventured, like Biddy Ilaurahan, the vioxndiers of the Eighty-eighth, after a raid upon a poultry yard, where, having capturod a web-footed animal of the feathered trine, she immediately gave it brevet rank, and it is now Muscovy Drake, Esq. Putnpernickle aud myself have already hi<! so-iv ror!\'e;N \tum-* an-Mif the can.li.tatos for poSit.icnl homnrs, -in 1 I t sin!* 1 '-annot Jo better turn give you his idea in his own words. You must kaovv, he began, that I have not taken much interest in the affairs of the outer world for some considerable time past, as I have long ago found that a life of calm and dignified retirement is most conducive to sound health and longevity.

I have endeavoured, while in the enjoyment of my otium cum, to add my mite to the vast intellectual wealth that has been bequeathed to us by the giant minds who have gone before, and I trust my efforts to discover the origin of the Greek fire, and the domestic habits of the Cape pigeon, will not have been without advantage to the great cause of science, and will be appreciated by future generations ; as posthumous honours (as in the case of poor Sturt, the explorer) are all that I can expect as a tribute to my erudition and research.

AVhiLst upon this subject, I may as well tull you, my dear Muddle, that I believe I have discovered the authors of the ornitholigical hoax played off upon the leading journil of the province ; and I have also found out that the perpetrators have longer bills and greater difficulties in providing for them than the herons and quails they were so witty upon. By the way, Wittles, who is a tripologician, and of a very enquiring disposition, tells me that he attended the meeting convened at the Teviot by your Member, Mr. Mervyn. In giving a description of it, he says that from the account Mr. M. gave of his stewardship while in the House of Representatives, he left an impression on the mirds of his audience that the innumerable measures he brought before the House, as far as any beneficial results to the country were concerned," would have been much better left alone. He must have felt, and I am sure he looked (sayc Wittles) about as comfortable a1?a 1 ? the fashionable lady, we reads about, in the ballroom, yen there was a flea a biting on her. Since then Mr. Mervyn has attended a teetotal soiree, and had nearly succeeded in imparting a political bias to the proceedings, but for the timely pranks of a couple of gamins who would insist upon roasting "Guy Fawkes" with Chinese crackers. However, it is no wonder that, after Mr. Mervyn's legislative dissipations, he should, li*e Sam Weller after the "leg of mutton swarry," fly to the teetotal pump for a refresher. As an inducement to the members of that body to give him their countenance and support at the ensuing elections, he would use his best

endeavours to get a permissive bill nassed ; an i I have no doubt, if it had been a gathering of brewers he was addressing, he would have promised to bring in a bill to legalise the unlimited use of coooulus indiam in the manufacture of their XXXX, upon the same terms. Now, my dear Muddle, I have no wish to detract from the merits of your ex-member ; but in his public capacity he must submit to public comment. lam sure, as a private individual, he is a worthy and estimable member of society ; but if I W9re in his place, I would leave legislative honours to those who are more fitted for them, and like Cincinnatus, return to my cockatooing. Among the names of the gentlemen who intend contesting the different seats, I notice that of Mr. GK E. Barton, and from my acquaintance with his antecedents in the Victorian Parliament, there could not be a better man for your district, as from his staunch adherence to Don and Wilson Grey, during the deaper te battles in the Victorian House, he, with his colleagues, was mainly instrumental in carrying out the iberal land policy that is now doing such great things for Victoria, It behoves every man who has an interest in the country to watch closely the events t'mt will shortly be acted before as, I would have every member returned to the New Zealand Parliament give distinct pledges to carry out the wishes of their constituents. For the miner, the abolition of the gold export duty ; for the agriculturist, a liberal land law, with free selection and deferred payments as its basis; a reduction in the present oppressive tariff ; and in the event of our not getting a fair share of all loans and colonial revenue, they should pledge themselves to press the question of separation, until we were our own masters, and had the manipulation of the moneys we pay into the Gr neral Government for our own requirements. We have had more than enough of that el. ass legislation, which makes the many subservient to the interests of the few. The land is the public estate, and if it is alienated from the Crown by legitimate purchase, it is still thero to be taxed, for supplying the necessities of a good government. We should not have to go beg^inj; in the English money market for loans, nor accept it from a Secretary for the Colonies, as a sop for Cerberus, as with inducements to settle on the land, the miners and small capitalists would not have to take the money they have earned in New Zaalanl to swell the coffers and found a home for themselves in the older colonies, who are reaping the benefit of their wiser laud administration. These are, or ought to be, weighty considerations with every thinking man, who has in view the general welfare of the community. If we neglect this opportunity, and do not return men who will pledge themselves to carry out our views, we shall, iiko Fnnkenstein, create a monster that will ultimately destroy us. Already we are suffering through our near-sightedness in returning one to hijjh office whose antecedents should hav3 handicapped him too heavily to start in the political race; but, my dear Muddle, 1 cannot express my sentiments more accurately upon the matter than applying the following characteristic epigram, composed by Harry Wittles : — For onr vant of discernment we've great kors to veep ; Vot ye tbort vus a gentleman, turns out a sveep.