KEEN CRITICS.

Star (Christchurch), Volume LXVI, Issue 20541, 16 February 1935, Page 12

KEEN CRITICS.

Spectators’ Advice for Girl Cricketers. “ WEAR SUSPENDERS." (By the LADY EDITOR.) There is something about the word test, whether it is connected with brakes, school, radio tubes or cricket, that makes for grimness, and even man’s innate chivalry for women in distress will not overcome it; with the result that whereas the Canterbury match against the English women cricketers was the occasion for the most graceful pleasantries on the part of spectators, to-day it was a different story. Last week old gentlemen swore they had never seen anything so classic and Greek-like since their sister Maud put a ball through the conservatory window when bowling to Charles in 1870; ex-cricketers said Miss Maclagan’s performance reminded them of nothing so much as when they made 100 not out against Rangiora; and critics on the embankment and elsewhere filled the air with charming references to Miss Archdale’s scholastic qualifications, cheerful play upon the word Snowball, and other whimsies. The word Test changed all that, and critics, whether kind or unfriendly, were critics indeed. The more vociferous of them made no pretty references to Miss Archdale’s birthday and the fact that it coincides with Mr Woodfull’s, but expressed instead some doubt as to whether the selectors were in their right minds when they selected the New Zealand team. Whereas last week they were in a wax of enthusiasm over the grace, the speed, the precision of the players, voicing only a mild regret at local mistakes, with many excuses for each of them, this week they' grew fretful, ribald and downright angry. “Feet, girl! It’s her feet that’s wrong. Fidgetin’ away there with her garters all the time—look at ’em. There’s another one hitchin’ up her garters—why the devil doesn’t she use suspenders?—and never worrying about her feet. Get down to it, girl! Stop it with your foot! Good gad, there’s another one. Why doesn’t she spread her skirts?” “ That little girl can bowl! ” “Bowls all right, but takes too much out of herself.” “ Her frock’s all wrong. It hangs down at the back.” “ I don’t care a hang about her frock—her frock can drop right off for all I care, as long as she stops prancing about like a ballet dancer.” “ Those two girls have got a good pair of legs, each of ’em.” ‘You’re right! In fact, if you ask me, the whole lot of the 'English team’s got darn good legs. Matter of fact, when you come to think of it, ous of them made no pretty refergether.” “ Listen. Can anyone tell me how they keep those stockings up, and no fidgetin’? Because it appears to me that ii you got to go fidgetin’ with your socks and your garters, you got no time to think about your feet. An’ if you ask me, that’s half the trouble! ”