TAKE MY ADVICE.

Star (Christchurch), Volume XLIV, Issue 661, 14 January 1933, Page 18 (Supplement)

TAKE MY ADVICE.

If there’s rain—don't complain, If it’s chilly—don’t be silly. Take no notice of the weather, heather. Burrow well and make a nest, Stay at home, for that is best. And when the winter’s passed away, Come out to play, some sunny day. —C. Spikes. But perhaps you do not think that, as a hedgehog, I am able to offer you any advice, but that, dear children, is where you make the mistake. The earth has secrets to disclose, and because I live so near to the earth I can reveal some of them. These secrets are not the ones you have often heard about—the secret things, I mean, that you should not do. The earth’s secrets that I am willing to disclose are about the things that it is positively wise that you should do! For instance, the one great secret in life which takes first place with all sensible people is to secure a nice watertight home with plenty of cupboard room and to make yourself thoroughly comfortable in it, keeping out all intruders who are apt to force themselves upon you whether you like it or not. As an exampie of what is correct — look at my home. It has all these essential requirements. The roof is built with a rounded curve that encourages the raindrops to fall off the sides. Moreover, it is ingeniously constructed with an impenetrable thatch of autumn leaves. Note that it is also roomy enough for all good things to be stored during inclement weather. Once the damp-proof bungalow is complete—“ the world may wag and kingdoms fall,” but I am constrained with a clear conscience to rest in peace —sleep as long as I like and do no work, which is a way of living, rightly described by all true and aged philosophers as the obiter dicta of existence. The second priceless secret of the world’s happiness is to be careful to provide oneself at all times (and particularly in the winter) with an abundant supply of appetising food. Eat well, I advise, but in doing this see that no one does the same to you! Such an unpleasant practise can be successfully avoided by a muscular contraction of the skin, which, when once this has

to do then (when I woke up) was sniff about till I came to the pot—th standing on my hind feet it was but minute’s work to put my front pa on the outside edge in order to tip over. In the morning it was a case “Alice, where art thou?” or “on t spot where once they, gambolled, not trace of life was seen.” Contrast this kind gardeners gen ous conduct with the farmer’s unpl< sant behaviour, for I regret to have inform you that in the country t farmers dislike us very much; th have been known to persecute us, a if they can do so, to slay us outrig! They say we steal milk from the 6le< ing cows. Did you ever hear such n< sense? I will tell you the truth. (T 1 is another of my secrets.) We are oft seen near the cows at night, it’s tn but what do we follow them for? F a very good reason. You know, for stance, what happens to the earth you lay a heavy weight, such as a pi ing stone, on the ground. The won that are underneath it feel the presst and come up to the surface in alarn Now, a cow is a very heavy weigl We have only to go after the cow, a you see at once what happens. Won —not milk—straight from the cow. And now I would like to tell y about my sweet little ones. They a so pretty—you might easily mista them for birds. But it is winter, and I must say “ Farewell.”