VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP.

Star (Christchurch), Volume XLIV, Issue 368, 9 March 1932, Page 9

VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP.

Modern Day Marriage is Discussed. LADY STRATHSPEY’S VIEWS. The happy—or unhappy if you will—state of affairs existing among workgirls in a flourishing town in the Midlands gives one furiously to think. A section in which these girls work in one factory is known as Old Maids’ Corner. They are doing so well that, though the chances are there, marriage has ceased to appeal to them. They say openly: “ Why should we marry when we can buy all we want and save a bit each week? Why change this for a man who wouldn’t give us as much?” The idea of emancipation has been linked with spinsterhood ever since the first “ votes for women ” cry was heard —and long before that—but this development of the question seems a different matter altogether. Comfortable Spinsters.

True, we see large numbers of women all over the country earning enough to make them independent of marriage, and many of them are married despite the fact. But here is a whole community earning enough for every need with the anti-marriage complex apparently gaining a foothold. Now, with the flappers’ vote, complete sex equality—which means, among other things, equal wages—is bound to come sooner or later. And if whole communities of business and working women become imbued with the same idea of comfortable spinsterhood, what is going to happen to the old institution of marriage ?

If the majority of future women workers are going to find, like these girls, that a life of single comfort comprises the height of their desire, where are we going? Can marriage, in the long run, survive a policy of studied neglect by the very section of the community reputed to look upon it as the goal of their existence? Marriage has certainly suffered to some extent already. That is admitted. But if the problem assumes really large proportions, then what is the solution? I believe it is—camaraderie. To-day, in spite of the co-educational principles, in spite of the shrieks of execration against the modern girls’ morals, you can see an increasing tendency for each sex to segregate itself. The boys are all the time climbing over the fence into one field while the girls flock to another. Freedom of To-day. True, when an occasional pair of eyes happen to meet their affinity you may expect an eventual wedding. Most young people who enjoy the freedom of to-day have won it too easily. It is like those free seats for the theatre. For two pins you would give them to someone else, and when you see the show it doesn’t seem half so good as that other you paid for last week. So with the couples of to-day. They know they are at liberty to mingle, but fail to appreciate the benefits. Consequently when they do come together the bond of real trust and friendship is absent. All the ingredients for perfect harmony may lie at their feet. But the harmonious confection is seldom mixed somehow. If marriage is to survive the coming final equality, I believe that men especially will have to be taught the value of friendship. Assuming it is the women who are holding back, the would-be bridegroom’s only chance will be to make his friendship rather than his love indispensable. Her Point of View.

Once he can weave himself into her every-day life as one to be relied on in small things, one to receive confidences which would interest no other man or woman, one who always displays a live comprehension of and sympathy with “ her ” point of view—once he can do this, and extract a measure of response, the anti-marriage barrier will have been effectually broken down. A modicum of love, resting on the firm basis of true friendship—there, I believe, lies the matrimonial hope of survival to come. —(A.A.N.S. Copyright.)