BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Volume XLIV, Issue 64, 17 March 1931, Page 8

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys.) I drove a golf ball into the air It fell to earth I know not where; For right through the sun it flew, the sight Could not follow it in its flight. ! I teed another with many a swear And drove that to I know not where; I slice and cut and twice I muff And off it careens right into the rough. Long, long afterward, tired and sore I forgave all that went before. With a heavy heart I approached the green And there it rested—quite serene. The ball I thought I’d lost in the sun Was in the cup—a hole in one And the oaths I’d sworn from beginning to end I heard again from the mouth of my friend. a Angry Widow (after learning husband left her nothing): I want you to take “ Rest in Peace ” off that tombstone I ordered yesterday. Monumental Mason: I can’t do that, but I can put something underneath. A.W.: All right. Put “Till I Come.” Straw berets are now worn in Paris. In London they are eaten with cream. “ This sours me against the world,” said the cucumber as it was dipped into the brine. zi si *i Some of the older generation give fervent thanks that they lived in the days when you could kiss a girl and taste nothing but girl. “ Your son in college ordered these photographs from me.” “ Ah, yes. Well, well, they certainly look very like him, very like. Has he paid for them?” “ No, sir, he has not.” “ Hum-m-m. Still more like him.” The hand that darns the socks is usually the one that socks the husband. N o matter how the costs of production vary, writing paper remains stationery. “Yes,” said the Marshland sheik proudh*, “ I’ve got a standing date every Friday night.” “Yes?” sneered his mate. “Got a job behind the counter?” “ Iley, where’s the fire?” said the traffic cop to the flapper who had been; speeding. “In your eyes,” she replied, “ you great big gorgeous traffic constable.” She was only a carpenter’s daughter, but she bore me no mallets. A Chicago paper says that the business depression is far-reaching in its effects. President Carl Shaw, of the United States Fat Men’s Club, announces that it has reduced the tonnage of its membership by 3650 pounds, leaving the gross avoirdupois of the 1472 members at the alarmingly low total of 332,672 pounds. To get back to parity, the club wants new members—big, plump, hefty ones.