BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 19060, 3 May 1930, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys.) There are lots of people about nowadays with a keen sense of rumour. “It isn’t right and it isn’t fair!” “What isn’t?” “The left ear of a negress!” Teacher: Why, Dorothy, you’ve left Ashburton out of your map of Canterbury. Pupil: Yes, teacher, I know. May Smith’s going to live there, and I don’t speak to her. The Rev Frank Rule was fined £1 yesterday for a motor mishap. He was quite Frank about it and admitted it. “If a Rule break a rule of the road we rely on a rule that will break a Rule,” said the Magistrate. But £1 won’t break the minister. A Sydenham Sunday-school teacher was talking to her class about Solomon and his wisdom. “When the Queen of Sheba came and laid jewels and fine raiment before Solomon, what did he say?” One small girl with experience promptly replied. “How much do you want for the lot?” Anxious to give his wife a present, a man went into a store and explained his wants. “Well, now, sir,” said the assistant, “would you be interested in something in silk stockings?” The customer coughed. “ Well—er—let’s get this matter of the wife’s present disposed of first. Shall we? ” It appears that the new lay-out of the Square is spirit drawing. This was not known at first, but every one of those present deny doing it so it must be. After studying it carefully I have come to the conclusion that the Mayor did it in a trance influenced by the spirit of an old Russian called Frankitch Thompsonitch. Six of the League’s best footballers have gone over to Rugby following the big row, and many others have dropped the game. Half a League, half a League, half a League onward, Forward the staunch brigade Is there a man dismayed? Not though each ’bailer knows, That the “heads” blundered. Not theirs to reason why, Not theirs to make reply, Into the new season goes— Goes a sick hundred. Scores and scores of dear little basketball players are competing at Hagley Park to-day. They have quaint names for their clubs. There are localiyt names like Beckenham, Merivale. They say the Mairehau girls know their onions. There are Maori names like Kia Ora, Ngaio, etc. Hinemoa is a Papanui club and I’d hate to let the girls know that I know the legened about Hinemoa swimming across the lake to Tutanekai, and there were no bathing dresses in those days. Other club names are fanciful. Invicta and Matchless have a polite brag about them. Sunshine is another quaintly named club. I expect next year we will have a Sunkist club, and from that to Boykist would be an easy step. Two clubs are the A.B.C. and the C.C.C. There is a Girl Citizens’ Club, and whether it is a Junior Reform League affair or merley a Citizens’ Association team I don’t know. It is a great game this basketball. Dean Julius raised the question the other night as to what a wife should do if her husband threw a leg of mutton at her. The basketball girl would solve it. She would catch it and throw it back. t’i «'• i’i There is a lot of excitement about picking a good Canterbury team. Here's my choice: Freddy Cooke as half. He is short and nuggety. Of course he’d want to wear a red jersey, but we’d have to put up with that. Full back we could have Sir John Fuller. Canterbury has some good full backs, but Sir John would be Fuller. I’d have the Mayor among the forwards. He’d throw his weight about. Doc Thacker, an old footballer, would do on the wing. He’d cover a lot of ground—if he fell. W. E. Lead-ley would have plenty of weight. H. G. Ell would supply the coach and 11. 11. Sterling the train-ing and telling how to find the lines. The secretary of the C.A.A.A. would hold the scrum as a good Lock-wood. A good man would be Billy Williamson. He’d tackle anything. We’d have Charlie Thomas, president of the Caledonian Society, to take the free kicks. Dr Mark Brown might be useful and Dudley Dobson -would get a pass if there was one. H. W. Frost is a good dentist and would do a lot of stopping and be a certain draw. No man would be better on the ball than Reg Stillwell. Dan would be always in the van, the Sulli-van, and Plimsoll collars well. Went to the Caledonian Society’s evening the other night. It was very interesting to see the dying customs of the Scot. I wiped a tear. Mr Rogers, a Welshman, sang three Scottish numbers in Welsh-Scotch or ScotchWelsh. The evening started well. Twa pipers played their war-pipes as the acting-chieftain Mr Sey entered. They marched in front and the chief and his two supporters followed. This is ‘an" old custom from ancient times when the chief used to take his annual bath and the pipers led the way. Pipers never bathe. The custom of the chieftain having supporters is likewise an old one. Messrs Edginton and Moore, who supported Mr Sey at this week’s concert were unnecessary. He did not need it, but when chieftains were chieftains and whusky was whusky they were. There were good items, especially the ukelele and banjo ones. An English version of “My Ain Folk” was good and our Welsh friend did “Mary” well, but he tripped on “My love is like a red, red .rose.” The pipe band gave two selections. How they were applauded when they left the stage. Then some Scotch-New Zealand lassies or rather New Zealand-Scotch lassies did some Highland dances. They lacked the old vScots fire. We have not the biting cold here that made the true Scot dance so enthusiastically. It was dance or freeze in Scotland. In good old New Zealand we have electric heaters. Of that large audience only one true Scot was present. Among the collection taken up there was only one halfpenny, but the Scottish ancestry could be noted in the number of threepenny bits.