BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 19035, 2 April 1930, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS

(By One of the Boys.) Dr Thacker wrote the other day that he could not “ swallow the leek of a New Zealand born Welshman ” I can imagine that he will choke a bit over it but he has to get it down somehow. :: Why does a child permitted to “develop its personality” so often choose the personality of a hyaena? The poor Chinese soldier never knows whether he will get paid next month or be a rebel. Lady: “Doesn’t that little boy swear terribly ? ” Urchin: “Yes’m, he sure does. He don’t put any expression into it at all.” A lady who was collecting money at Geraldine for the fund to endow a Chair of Obstetrics tells the story of a man who, after making a donation, said: “I hope I win the chair.*’ Men are like fish. They would not get into trouble if they kept their mouths shut. :•> Certainly ladies’ dress is becoming less, but the question is, is it less becoming ? When a man and woman marry they become one; but the question is, which one? Old lady (seeing friend off by steamer) : “Now do be careful, dear, and don’t forget to give the captain a shilling to keep you off the rocks.” :: K The little girl had committed some grave offence, and was duly punished by her mother. When bed-time came the child said her prayers, and referred to everyone she knew except her mother. After this there was a silence for a time, and then the child said, “I hope you realise, Mother, that you weren’t even mentioned.” The following is an imaginary speech that the Mayor might have delivered if he had been called on to return thanks for Mr Charlie Jones: “Ladies and gentlemen,—l thank you from the bottom of my heart for the tremendous vote you have accorded me —us—him. It is a triumphant victory for the cause of sane administration against the pernicious propaganda of class-conscious councillors and Socialist Mayors. It is a guarantee of economy and a defence against extravagance. It means that the scattercash caucus will no longer be able to entertain (at the expense of the ratepayers) the unemployed tourists from other parts of the Dominion. It means that the meanderings of the Mayoral mind and the Thackerian habit of falling on the wrong side of the fence will no longer cause concern or anxiety to sober citizens. While in my proper person I am torn with grief, and anticipate sleepless nights, tortured with long, long thoughts, as Jones, on the other hand, I cannot but rejoice that your Mayor, for the next twelve months, will suffer some pangs of disappointment to compensate for the troubles in which the Labour caucus has involved the citizens. Again from the bottom of my heart I say to you: ‘Damn the rate-, payers’.”