BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18992, 11 February 1930, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS.

(By One of the Boys.) Some people who come from good families have been too long coming. What's the matter with Dr Thacker? He wouldn’t have the reporters at his League meeting. When asked which were the greater and which the lesser prophets, the resourceful student replied that “he didn’t like to make invidious distinctions.” Si VI K Clergyman (giving out the notices): “ I wish to say that the collections today will be devoted to the arch fund, and not, as erroneously stated in the parish paper, to* the arch fiend! ” A pigeon fancier before the war was noted for the unbroken record he achieved with his birds. “ How do you manage never to lose a pigeon ? he was asked. “ Well, you see,” saifl the fancier, “ I cross my pigeons with a talking parrot, so that if they S et lost they can ask the way home! ” Mabel: “Yes, dear, just wait a week until I am married ” Maud: “ Why, dear, I didn’t know you were going to be married.” Mabel: “ Oh, yes, Peter and I are going to have a secret wedding. Not a soul is going to know until it’s over. Haven’t you heard?” An old lady in Egypt was being shown round the Pyramids. “ Madam,” said the guide impressively, as they halted opposite one of the mighty erections, “ it took nearly two thousand years to build this.” “ I can quite believe it,” rejoined the visitor vigorously. “ Our workmen at home are very nearly as bad.” Two friends were crossing the ocean, and one never found his sea legs throughout the voyage. His friend burst into the cabin where he lay one day, and exclaimed, “ Come on deck, Jack; I want to show you something.” “ What is it?” asked the sick man. “A ship,” said his friend. “ Oh, I don’t want to see a ship,” groaned Jack, “ call me when you see a tree! ” Christmas comes to one house in Turlock, U.S.A., 365 day& a year. This is how a San Francisco paper explains it:— It was quite an unusual Christmas for the Christmases, Mr and Mrs. Not only did Miss Minerva Wayne, nineteen, get a real live Christmas present herself, but she became a living Christmas present for Christmas, himself. But this is becoming so involved. What is to be said is this:— Attractive Miss Wayne, of Modesto became the bride Christmas day of Virgil Edward Christmas, twentythree, of Turlock.

So marry and a merry and a kissy Christmas it was for Mr and Airs Christmas.