BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18959, 3 January 1930, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys.) She only gave him half a crown A week, so he called ’er Mackey. Why don’t Englishmen make fun of their countrymen, the same as the Scotsmen do? Because it’s bad enough to be an Englishman without making a joke about it. “You won’t beat this, sir,” said the salesman in the carpet department. “Pardon me,” remarked the stemfaced woman, icily, “he will if I wish it l ” I see a number of correspondent* have been telling the London “ Chronicle ” that children keep parents young. Which reminds me of the famous riddle: How can parents keep young? The answer is: Bustle round until they are old enough to keep themselves. He had imbibed freely and well, but as is often the case, very unwisely, and the tram was crowded, so that he was lucky to get even a strap to hang on to. “ Fares please,” said the conductor, and he fumbled with one hand still hanging tenaciously to the strap. “ Fares, please,” was repeated. TherA was another fumble, but no fare. “ Can I help you? ” asked the conductor. “\ r es, hold this strap for me.” a a Amongst the New Year honours I would have liked to see a few more. Sir Truby King could have been made Prince of Wails. Mr Harry Kitson would make a good Lord Privy Seal (tar seal), and Mr J. Roy Smith an excellent Lord Chamber-lain of Commerce. The secretary of the Christchurch Beautifying Society I would make Earl Marshall. Mr E. D. Andrews should get Knight of St Andrew’s (Square), and Mr C. S. Thomas, Knight of the Thistle. Mr Free Holmes could be made Master of the Horse or else (Logan) Chief of Staff. Bishop WestWatson I would make Lord of Appeal (of Cathedral bells), and Mr Shaw, a Knight of the Bath (salt water). Mr G. Ollivier, Mr A. T. Donnelly and Mr M. E. Lyons I would have Knights Bachelor. Canon Wilford as a Knight of St Georges and the Rev Perry a Knight of St Michaels. Doc Thacker I would make O.B.E’s. This is very subtle. Our editor would be well satisfied if he received the Order of the Star, and the chairman of the Waimairi Council should get the Order of the Cross.