BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18578, 28 September 1928, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS.

(By One of the Boys.)

Lord Lascelles complains that people are always taking his photograph when his mouth is open. The trouble is that people who keep their mouths shut never get their pictures in the paper.

*6 » X . The League suggests private conferences between the Powers on disarmament. England and France seem to have done something of the sort recently, and all hell is let loose, so the League had better have another think. & *•: The King of Spain spent a few days in Scotland with the Duke of Sutherland, at Dunrobin Castle. The castle is not named thus because the Duke is a retired business man. 55 55 55 Mention of the 1500 autograph books which Smith and Ulm had to sign recalls the sad story of Scapolio, the circus proprietor. He was surprised and flattered at one town by the way in which all the small boys of the place came to him with autograph books for signature. He was still more gratified when he saw them all at the cirCus. But when he came to count the takings he got a shock. Most of the receipts were represented by slips of paper bearing his signature, with “Admit one” above it in someone else’s writing. To-day’s fairy story: An Aussie watersider read the employers’ eulogy of the free labourers and said: “I am ashamed that amateurs can do so much more u-ork than I have been doing. I’ll go back to work and ark the boss to reduce my wages till I can increase my output and be a better workman and a more honest man.” What he probably did say was: “Give me a blasted brick and I’ll push some of them ’s faces in.” x s There was a story in the cables on Wednesday about a doctor leaving a pair of forceps in a woman, where they stayed for eight years. There’s a veryold yam on those lines. A man haa just returned to the ward after an operation, and as soon as he was able to sit up and take notice the man in the next bed started to put the wind up him with tales of forceps and knives and things being mislaid. Then the doctor entered. “Anyone seen my umbrella?” he asked, and the patient fainted. 55 55 55 An impecunious actor had married a wealthy wife and had retired. One day he and his spouse were walking in the street when they passed two gentlemen of the stage who had known the husband. “There goes Bill,” said one of the twain sneeringly, “with his laboursaving device.”