BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17862, 2 June 1926, Page 9

BY THE WAY.

SOME REFLECTIONS AND COLLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys.) There is one tunnel at least that is being well ventilated; that Wellington one at Northland. The Petone councillor who said that scantily clad, highly’ painted girls were employ-ed to lure young men to “roil down” parlours is completely out of date. If a girl wants to attract attention these times (the minx), she makes herself prominent by* going about unlipsticked, unpowdered, and unrouged. There was one at a dance that I went to recently, and fond mothers treated her as though she were a plague. To make it worse, while the chaste pure backs of their daughters were open for inspection this hussy concealed her shoulder blades. Everyone said it was disgraceful. K *-* J'J ’ A Christchurch teacher received an awful shock when school went in on Tuesday. ' Little Willie arrived with a letter-from his .mother addressed to the teacher. It ran : “Dear Teacher*—My son Willie is a very delicate, nervous, and timid child, and if he should be naughty—a thing that has occurred more than once—l wish you would punish the boy next to him, for that will frighten him so that he'll behave himself.” “Where is my gold watch?” Mr Brown demanded. “ I don’t know. Isn’t it in the top drawer of the duchesse?” - “ No.” “ Well, I’m sure I don’t know where it is.” “ You don’t know. Here is a woman who is merely asked to look after the house while her husband slaves out his soul-case providing bread and butter, and you don’t know, or, I dare say, care, where his watch is.’ “Are you sure it isn’t in that drawer ? ” “ Madam, it is not in the drawer. Wherever else on the globe it is, it is not there.” “ I hope burglars haven’t been here,' Mrs Brown suggested. “Thunder and Jumping Jim-jacks, burglars?, ’So burglars took the gold watch off the chain and left an equally valuable' gold chain. Does it seem likely? Just like a woman though likes to be sentimental—kind-hearted burglar breaks into suburban home. As he goes out he sees little Willie asleep in his cot. He has a little Willie at home of his own, and his heart is touched. He tip-toes back, and returns the chain. He would have returned the watch but for his poor old mother whom he has to support.” “ But we have no little Willie. Do you mean Jimmy or Freddy?” Mr Brown jumped three feet in the air, and the ornaments jingled on the sideboard. “ Woman, this is not a subject for frivolous discussion. It is serious Here I am all ready to go to the lodge, and have not got my gold watch. There are men there who will not hesitate to think that I have pawned it.” “ Last time you came home from the lodge you put your watch outside and tried to wind up the cat. Don’t you remember the milkman found it out in the rain?” A thoughtful look came into Mr Brown’s eyes. “ Now I come to think of it, I believe I took the watch in to get it cleaned, but the statement that I tried to wind up the cat, and the aspersion that I was the worse for drink is a lie, a deliberate lie.” Neighbours are people who will swop sympathy for the details of your misfortune. Marshal Spilbludski will probablyfollow the first rule of the Liberator: Suppress those who formerly suppressed his crowd. France is making great efforts to resuscitate the franc. She would be able to reach deeper into her pockets did she not have a sword in her hand, tt K tt The only point of resemblance between Peter Trolove and Santa Claus is that they both whiskers. Mr Bartholomew, S.M., told the Society for the Prevention of Wortien and Children, in Dunedin that psycho-anal-ysis was not the right treatment for juvenile delinquents. He evidently realises that in'many cases the child has already tried it out on the parents. There is one good thing about thi long courtship of olden times. It resulted in longer marriages. What Portugal needs is a tail that won’t wag it. Insurgents the world over appear to be men who would rather be wrong than miss a fight. No one will dispute that America invented the true Arab sheik.