REPARTEE.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17567, 18 June 1925, Page 7

REPARTEE.

SOME FAMOUS RETORTS. A JUDGE’S GOOD FRIDAY. DR ADLER’S SANDWICH. Examples of witty repartees are furnished in large numbers by courts of law, whether high or low, some of the best being reported from the legal domain in Ireland. It was there, for instance, that, a certain judge of the High Court in bygone days refused to entertain an application for the adjournment of a case over Good Friday. “Certainly not.. Mr Blank. The better the day, the better the deed,” said his Lordship, thinking he had disposed of the matter. “Well, my Lord," replied counsel, “all I can say is that you'll be. the first judge to sit on Good Friday since the time of Pontius Pilate." Two farmers in the west of Ireland had a dispute over some land. The case came into the High Court. The presiding judge tried to throw oil on the troubled waters, and, addressing the plaintiff when in the witness box, he said: “This is a trivial case. Why not settle it? You men have got to be neighbours all your lives. Now. I suppose that, apart from this trespass, you consider the defendant a very decent man?’’ The plaintiff scratched his head and hesitatingly said: “Well, he is, sir. but he sometimes gets as drunk as a judge.'’ “You mean as drunk as ! a lord," remarked the president of the Court. “Yes. my Lord,” was the un-lookcd-l'or answer. HIGH PRTEST OF REPARTEE. John Philpot Curran, a member of the old Irish House of Commons, a distinguished barrister and afterwards Master of the Rolls, has been called "the high priest of repartee," and so incisive were his witticisms in this direction that he was feared and respected by both judge and witness. One of the Irish judges, Fitzgibbon by name, nevpr attempted to hide his detestation of Curran, and took many opportunities of displaying it. Now, this particular judge had a mastiff dog that had been trained to sit beside him in Court, and, on a certain day, when Curran was arguing a case of considerable importance, his Lordship gave every appearance of not attending to what was being said, and, as it were, to accentuate his contempt, he turned to the dog and audibly addressed some remarks to him. Curran at once stopped. “Go on, sir," said the judge. “I beg your pardon.” answered Curran. "I thought your Lordships were in consultation.” At a later period, when this same judge had become Lord Chancellor, Curran was arguing before him, when he was interrupted in one of his arguments by this cutting remark: "Mr Curran, if that is law, I may burn my law books." “Oh, no, my Lord," Replied Curran: “better read them." There is, however, one instance where Curran was absolutely knocked out in the very kind of contest in which he had himself scored sq many triumphs. During an angry debate in the College Green Parliament House. Curran exclaimed in a tone of .lofty pride: “I am the guardian of my own honour.” But Sir Boyle Roche, with the rapidity of lightning, retorted: “I thought the right honourable gentleman didn’t believe in sinecures.” CARDINAL AND RABBI. There are many examples of repartee in connection with the clerical world, a selection from which is given here. Cardinal Yaugharv and Dr Alder, the chief Jewish rabbi, were next each other at a luncheon. “ Now. Dr Alder/’ said the Cardinal, “when may I have the pleasure of helping you to some ham?" The rabbi replied without a pause. “At jour Eminence's wedding." A reply that for appropriate neatness would be hard to improve upon. There was quite a 'delightful reply once made by Dr Potter, Bishop of New York, when asked by a lady how it was that in pictures and statues the angels are always represented as women or young men without beards or moustaches: “Everyone knows that women naturally inherit the kingdom of Heaven, but the men only get in by a very close shave." Famous among the humorists of the neighbourhood of Dublin in the last thirty or forty years of the last century was Father James Healey, parish priest of Little Bray. No account of quick and witty answers could pretend to be complete without including at least a few of his. He was always a high favourite at the YiceRegal lodge, often in company with an old friend of his. Lord Justice Barry, of the Irish Bench. On one occasion at a Christmas luncheon party, when the Londonderrys were in office, the conversation turned on the decorations of the season, and the Marchioness, thinking to put a poser to his reverence, said across the table: “Father Healey, I wonder if you or Lord Justice Barry ever did such a thing as kiss anyone under the mistletoe?" “Oh, no, your Excellency.” answered the wit. “Whenever the Lord Justice or myself did anything in that line it was under the rose.”