AN ADMIRAL’S YARNS.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17567, 18 June 1925, Page 6

AN ADMIRAL’S YARNS.

GOOD STORIES OF THE SEA. WHAT THE PARROT SAID. There never was a time when so many disinguished naval and military commanders appeared in the role cf author writers of their own life stories (.says “John o’ London’s Weekly”). Almost every week sees, a new volume of this kind. Judged, from the standpoint of humour and raciness it seems that the Navy wins most times. Such a book, for instance, as that brilliant j sea-dog Admiral Bacon’s “ A Naval • •Scrap Book ” (Hutchinson), has a gaiety, .a light-heartedness, that the Army j chronicler rarely attains. The borne is full of good stories and witty observa tions. V SNUB AT THE VATICAN. An anecdote apropos of a visit of the ex-Kaiser to the Pope: - • ’ A great flutter was caused by liis j visit; tho political results, however, wero not great, but it was the occa- ' sion of a most courteously-delivered j snub. Tho audience between the Pope j and the Emperor was arranged to bo [ an entirely personal one. After the I Emperor had entered tho audience J room, one cf his entourage tried to push in past the suave Cardinal who kept tlio door, but was reminded by him that the audience was a private one, and therefore lie, could not enter. “ Do you know who I am?" said tho irate personage. “ I am Marshal von —.” The Cardinal bowed courteously and said: “Sir, that may explain but it does not excuse your conduct.” THE INTERRUPTED STORY. Tho Admiral thinks that tho following story shows to perfection the callous indifference to tho British naval stokers to risks and dangers. It concerns two stokers in a North -Sea destroyer scrap during the war:— “ It. had besu quite an exciting little affair—-full-speed, gunfire, and shells exploding near the boat. \N hen it was over and the telegraph rang down half speed, up flicked the stokehold hatches for the grimy, sweating men below to get a breath of cool air and two swarthy heads appeared from two hatches lacing each other. -One of the officers, thinking he would like to hear a stokehold opinion of the small action, and how the noise and absence of knowledge of what was going on affected those ljelow, walked forward close past the men. All he heard was: • Well, all I can say, Bill, id that he ought to have married the girl.’ Evidently tho. fight had been to then, only an unwelcome interruption of ar interesting conversation, about currentlocal events.” A WEIRD COINCIDENCE. Admiral Bacon remembers a peculiar coincidence* in connection with the los.-. of tiie Victoria, which was ramnled and sunk by the C'ampcrdown: — “On. tho day that she was rammed and sunk by tlve C’ampcrdown. a nuni--1 ber of torpedo officers, myself included, i v.ere lunching at tho work* of Messrs Whitehead at Wymouth, where we had gone to witness some important tot* pedo trials. After lunch we were discussing the morning’s work, when a , wine-glass that was standing on the table broke through tho stem without t any warning or anyone touching it. > Someone, I forget now who. remarked : 1 That should mean n big naval dis- * aster.. 3 “ Allowing for the difference in time owing to longitude, the glass broke : just about the time that the Victoria £ was rammed.” 1 MENTAL ABERRATION. The author thinks that “ an extra ’ ordinary sequence of mental aberration * in several individuals was responsible for tho disaster.” He say a: — a “ In tho first place, H',r George Tryr on, v.’ho was acknowledged generally to ho facile princeps among our Ad,T mirals —in fact one of the three great j Admirals that our Navy saw between r 1875 and 1900— undoubtedly had what wo sailors call ‘ a. kink in the brain,' t that is a deleterious and persistent j idea that warped his reason. We all at . times suffer to a small extent from p these lapses when we mix our thought.: and muddle our deductions. In this , case, without doubt. Sir George mixed up the radius of the circle his ship took , while turning with its diameter. Oi I course, in ordinary moments he would r perfectly well have appreciated the difc t'erence between tho two; but at that c particular time in his mind he saw quite clearly that- the Victoria and Camperdown had room to turn toward: B each other without actual contact, when in reality it- was absolutely irnd possible for them to do so. Such a iapso was extraordinary enough, bu* 1 what was still more extraordinary, was that when the fact that the ship: j could not turn without collision vn\ pointed out to him by his flag-captain, his brain still refused to correct its orv ror. ’ ’ A LESSON FOR NAVAL 3 OFFICERS. What Admiral Bacon considers even ■> more extraordinary D the fact that although the captain of the Victoria and the admiral .second-in-command who flew liis flag in the Camperdown, I and tho captain of the Camperdown, * three separate officers of rank and experience, all know that if the signal was obeyed there was bound to be a collision, yet they allowed tho helms of their ships to be put ever and the collision to occur : “ Vaguely we may imagine dim reasons that may have obsessed them, such as a thorough belief that the commander-in-chief would do something at tho last moment; accustomedness to implicit obedience; belief that ’ tho other ship would correct the rnis- ’ take, and so on. But no rational explanation can completely account for the universal dementia that paralysed the minds of the principal actors in tho tragedy. The ono lesson to be learned is tlio necessity for every officer to cultivate belief in his own judgment, so as not to be afraid of acting correctly and without fear of anyone when tho day of trial comes. This incident lias provided the Navy with a lesson of tlio dnt— owed by juniors towards senior officers that it is well for officers to ponder over and digest.” THE CAPTAIN’S HONEYMOON. Air Chauncey Depew, says the author, has immortalised the American tourist who uas so economical that when, he went to Europe on his honeymoon he left his wife behind in America to save . expense. The admiral goes on to toll the story about a Cap tain Hart Dyke:— “ The captain had a honeymoon experience not given to many, in that he was arrested and put into prison on his wedding nig}.,:. While still on tho South African station ho married and went up-country for liis honcy- , moon: in the evening he went nut. af-

ter dinner to smoke a pipe and post a letter. While strolling along at peace with the world he was accosted by a policeman, who said : ‘ Are you smoking?* ‘ Yes,’ said the captain. ‘ Do you mean to say that you own you arc smoking ?' ‘ Yes,’ was the reply. Whereupon tho policeman arrested him und took him to the polico station. It appeared that there was a law against smoking in tho streets, 1 since every house of the village was thatched and the risk of lire was considerable. In the end, my friend had to send for the bride to bail him A PARROT TALE. A tale- of a parrot told the author by an Indian officer “ It seems that- a parrot, who had acquired tho swearing habit by living in. the fo’c’slo of a merchant ship, was much envied by a Bishop of Genoa. Tho owner warned him of the bird’s proclivities, but the Bishop maintained that he could cure him if once he had him in bis house. So the bird changed hands. Everything the Bishop tried was useless to euro the bird, until at last one day in despair after a particularly choice sentence he took the bird out of his cage, held him by the wings, and swung him at tho full length of his arm for several minutes, and then put him back on his perch. The bird seemed dazed for a second or two, then cocked his head on one side, eyed tho Bishop, and said : * There’s the of a sea running again to-day, mate.’ ”