COMEDIANS WITHOUT KNOWING IT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17223, 14 December 1923, Page 8

COMEDIANS WITHOUT KNOWING IT.

HUMOUROUS SIDE OF CHURCH LIFE. The humorous side in the life of church and social workers is so often passed over that a few stories collected in the tour#© of various parochial activities will not be out of place. The “Spectator” recently gave examples of this unconscious humour. A teacher called upon a woman about her son’s irregular attendance’at Sunday school, and her reply was : “ I calls it a shame his coming to your class, and I always said it waa a shame his leaving Zion when they were so kind to him. But as I tells people, they will one day have to go to youi church to b© buried, so they may as well go there now when they are alive. As for myself, when my spasms allow it, I go to the Primitives, and my husband. if he goes anywhere, goes round the corner to the public-house.” FATHER FORGOT. et Why were you not at Sunday school?” a boy was asked. “ Because mother had fastened (pawned) my clothes to put ten shillings on our dog,” was the reply. ‘ ‘ Did the dog win ?’ ’ “No; father forgot to take it.” At a wedding, a relation of the bride was receiving the guests and showing them to their places. He was got up regardless of expense and was thoroughly satisfied with himself. Fortunately he did not hear the following conversation : One woman said to another: “ Who do you reckon that is clevering about in the middle ?” The answer was; “I don’t know, but to look at him I should say he was a young man from Wormersley’s ” (a Leeds firm of decorators). HOW IT REACHED HER. A bishop, in giving the address at another marriage ceremony, said that husbands did not choose their wives simply for their good looks. “ Well, I call that hard lines,” wa9 a guest's 'comment. “She is quite nice-looking, and he had no call to say that of her.” A minister** of the Church of Scotland, in a rural parish, was thus accosted by a woman parishioner during his visitation on a week-day: “ Yon was a very queer text you preached from on Sunday.” “ I don’t think so,” replied the minister ; “ but you were not at church, so how you know ?” “ Oh, little Jeannie was there, and she brought home the text.” ‘ And what was the text?” “Sweet pease and suet,” said the mother. “That was not so,” answered the minister. “It was ‘ Seek peace and ensue it.’ ” WOULD NEVER KNOW. On another occasion, at the bedside of a dying parishioner, the minister thought that, as she was lying in bed 6emi-conscious, he might sing a hymn in a low tone. But the old dame disconcerted him by waking up and exclaiming: “Will ye no’ stop that bumming sound!” Old John had been suddenly “ taken bad ” and the rector had been called in. After ministering to him, he asked the wife what was the matter with her husband. “I doan’t know, zur, and John ! ee doan’t know, and doctor ’ee doan’t know. But when ’ee’s dade doctor will open ’im up, and then us'll know.” Suddenly the old man’s voice was heard in withering ironylss, but I sha’n’t know)”