A Cabinet Secret

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17223, 14 December 1923, Page 9 (Supplement)

A Cabinet Secret

(Written for the Christmas “ Star,” by E. R. WHEELER, Sumner).

“Two pounds ten.”, I said, loud enough to bo heard by the man with tK© hammer. • * Two fifteen,” cried a rather eager “Three pounds,” T said, gently, and on it went merrily to “ five pounds,” my bid, when there was a slight pause from my opponent, and the auctioneer took a hand. “Really, ladies and gentlemen, this is not. selling. It is giving things away. This beautiful old writing desk for five pounds.” He was right in saying old, hut its market value was about 2os, and the audience, appreciating it correctly, laughed and waited for the two fools to fight it out. “ Guineas.” came the voice at last, but rather hesitatingly. *• Five ten.” said 1, and why T said it T do not know, except that 1 had just received a small cheque front my publisher, and felt like a reckless millionaire. Also, I scented a kind of challenge from the opposing bidder, and T thought I would have a bit of fun with him. Perhaps he divined my intention, and objected to being the wile body tor me to experiment upon: anyway, he subsided at last, and left me with a- gimerack affair worth about a quarter of what I gave for it and a feeling that T was a bigger fool than 1 had imagined I was. I thought of the cheque in my pocket, and reckoning up the inroad my purchase would make on its monetary value, decided 1 should have to defer for the present the acquisition of that charming little chateau near Mentone I had seen advertised, and which had rather taken mv tancy that morning at brfieakfast. \os ! 1 should have to bo satisfied with the Spanish variety of my dreams. 1 was paying rather sadly for my little game, and arranging at the office for the conveyance of the shabby desk to my flat, when, turning to look at it. I observed n man a Semite of much guile, or T was mistaken —examining it. He had the lid down—one of the common sort suspended by a brass chain —and liis hand was engaged, rather feverishly, I thought, among the dozen or so pigeon holes and drawers. “Excuse me,*’ 1 said. “ but that belongs to me,- and I object- to you handling it as if it were your property.” “You gave five pounds ten for the desk.” was his reply to my remon-

I No! of no value to you at all, not worth sixpence.” t “ Trying to get a valuable docuj ment.” 1 went on, ‘ for how much was ! your last offer?” “ I said ten pounds,” he said in a 1 surly tone, “but if you close at once ; I I will make it fifteen, but I will not I • give more.” I •• Ab! now we have something de-.j ! finite.” I said, “.so I will give you an I j equally definite reply. T will not sell j I the desk for any offer you may choose , i to mnke, and in a quarter of an hour j ' it will be in my room and T will try j and find this mysterious paner and see j fov mvself wliat in is all about.” “(Tli! Very well!” he replied, “do as you like. It may not be there at j all. and if it is, you will find it use- \ less.” j Then to mv amusement, ho darted , an inouisitive look at me and said r.nruntly : “TVhat are you? Tn what busi- “ I don't quite recognise your right to ask.” I said, “but to humour you, T am an author of sorts.” “ An author! What! Onf of those who write books?” Something of that kind.” I replied. “ And do you make a living out of that sort of thing?” he asked in a wondering manner. J.nr bless you. yes!’’ I said. “T was thinking about the purchase of a steam yacht just a short’time ago. and a little place on the Riviera, so you may guess your ten pounds or so is , not of much attraction to me.” ' Ho looked very dubiously at me, and said ; • Well, in case you come across anything in that affair, take care of it and let me know. Here is an address which will find me.” He scribbled on a piece of paper and handed it to me. “Do you mind favouring me with yours?” he asked. I did not set' any reason for refusing and gave him my card- —Howard Templeton. 37, Grafton Street, Bays* water. He looked at it. and J could see. was trying to reconcile the address with the yacht, but saia : “Good morning! 1 expect we shall | meet again.” and left me. j Tito paper he gave me had on it : “ Leopold Meyer. Agent. 9, Tisdale Street, off I Leicester Square. That same evening I found the mysterious papers, flattened out beneath

carried in her hand a book, the green cover of which seemed very familiar to “Oh! Mr Templeton, your charming book! We ar« delighted with it and Auntie would insist upon my getting your address and calling on you. We want six more copies to give away to our friends .and please, here is the money for them. Auntie is below in the car and would be so pleased if you will speak to her—she is too old to come upstairs.” “My dear lady,” I said, pushing back the two gold coins she placed on the table. “ I am of course honoured and gratified by your appreciation of my book, but I cannot supply copies—the shops are the ” “ Of course, but we thought you would have hundreds and hundreds in your room, ami your autograph, you know It would be lovely to have it. But you must see Auntie; she is longing to thank you please say a word or two to her ” What could 1 do but follow her downstairs and be introduced to “ Auntie,” a grey-haired lady with gold “ pince nez,” who was as enthusiastic about the “ Vagabond’s Musings ” as her niece, and insisted on mv getting into the car in order that we might talk nu re comfortably 7 he niece had given “ Auntie ’’—Mrs lUpington was the name slio introduced her bv—the green covered book, also a fountain pen with which I was invited to write my illustrious nanw—she. the younger one. skipping back to t ec iver a glove she had left behind—- “ Auntie ” chiding her gently lor he: carelessness. The writing of the autograph, combined with the animated conversation of the elderly lady, proved a lengthy transaction, and when the rather flushed young lady returned waving I her glove, a quarter of an hour must have passed. She apologised very prettily and volubly for keeping us waiting, and they drove away, leaving a gratified author bareheaded and bowing to their repeated farewells. I ascended to inv room, and the somewhat shabby apartment was .fragrant with an unaccustomed perfume—the emanation from the gracious feminine visitor of a few minutes back. 1 also detected some rather unusual disarrangement of the various articles on mv writing table and desk—--1 anu a tidy sort of man—and a sudden and horrible suspicion sprang fully formed into being. I was certain, intuitively certain, 1 had been done! Deceived! But in what way? lor what reason? Then T thought of the i mysterious papers and T rushed to the 1 particular part of the desk where I had finally decided to place them, and found it empty. I sat down and tried a variety of prettv names with which to designate rnvself and mv gullibility such as silly

he was smoking, eockel at an acute upward angle, being an offence and a 1 challenge. i A I obeyed an impulse which prompted I J me to speak to him at once ancl crossed | I over to where he sat in a velvet-covered j fl easy chair. g “So you are back from Tupapo, Mr j a Leopold Meyer,” I said clearly and 1 distinctly; “ and have seemingly pros- | If I had thought of putting that I gentleman in an embarrassing situa- fl tion. I was quiskly undeceived. The I smoker of the “ Regia ” looked mo | calmly in the face at first in a blank, | unrecognising way, then with a dawning remembrance and an amused gleam in his eye as of some comical eituaIO “ Why, holy poker! It’s tit* author. And what have you done with the old desk—to think 1 offered you £SO for it! What a heap of things have happened since then ! Try a cigar—three dollars each these Habanas!” “ Thank you, an ordinary smoke does for me,” I said, and added: ‘You apparently found the map and papers you acquired so adroitly. I may say so feloniously, from my room very useful and remunerative, judging from appearances.” “ Appearances bo damned.” lie re- I plied, removing his cigar from his I mouth and pointing it- at me to cm- I phasise his continuing remark. “And look here, Mr Author, I don’t know what you are driving at, hut I tell you straight off that- if T hear any such word as ‘ feloniously ’ used by j you in regard to any action of mine, i you will regret it.” Then, as a lady j fashionably attired approached, with ' an expensive fur wrap in her hand and a gesture inviting him io help her on with it, ho nfdded, complying with her request: “ Celeste. This gentleman has been making himself rather disagreeable. He is a writer of books and his name is Templeton ” “Oh! liow charmed I am, Mr Templeton, at seeing you again—that delightful book, you know, and your autograph, and Auntie and all that | Now kiss him and be friends. Come i along. Leo, we shall be late for the first act, anil I wanted to see that.” and the pair went for the front door, where a car was awaiting them. I gazed at their departing figures, and indulged in a little inward laughter at my own expense. I may be a writer of sorts, a delineator and analyser of human passions and emotions, but I am most certainly a babe in practi' o.