SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17170, 13 October 1923, Page 8

SPINDRIFT.

Etaders are invited to send in orig-inal topical paragraphs or verses for this column, which is a daily feature of the “ Star.’* Accepted contributions should be cut out by the writers and forwarded to the Editor, who -will remit the amounts payable. Anyway, motor-gliding lias nothing to do with scrae of Canterbury’s roads. Puzzling: In London the bill posters I banned a poster that the parsons pass- { ed. I To-day, for the third Saturday runJ ning, I go to an “ opening.” What a term ! An opening 1 Why should clubs be .opened? Tell me that. If J it were, not for the fact that, occasionally.- very occasionally tin’s season- an official takes pity on me, leads me to a quiet corner of the pavilion and opens something worth opening, I would endeavour to avoid all openings. Now, I put it to you as man to man. can you remember a single word that any president over said at any opening of anything? Did you ever knowone of them who didn’t say that he expected it to be the most successful season in the history of the club? Does anything new* over happen ? No. And yet we go—that is for the sake of peace we attend. About the only tiling sadder than an official opening meaning of course, those ceremonies to which men are admitted—T understand the curat© makes the opening of the Dorcas Society a bit swift—as I was saying, if there is anything more saddening than an official opening it is the dotty official closing as six strikes. There’s lately been a lot of fuss About a horse called Papyrus. Which recently has made its war From England’s shores to U S.A. ‘ To run a kind of racing test Against the Yankee’s chosen* best. The cables flash all round the earth News of this horse of noble birth. With tales about its training feats And bulletins oh what it oats. I am not one, to cry aloud Against the pleasures of the crowd : I do not spin a tale of woe Concerning those who racing go : Each man may play at what he thinks The best, from golf to tiddlywinks. But still T think it ill-advised The way this horse is advertised, ft hogs the limelight day by day When others fain would have its ray : They shouldn’t have run this blessed When Massey needed the cable space. 41 Good cow in milk for sale: cream separator fend churn.” —Advertisement in Taranaki paper. Quite an up-to-date dairy. During a debate at the meeting of the Victoria College Council on the question of the segregation of the senior and junior students. Air Fair is reported as saying. “They are aware that they are the sheep and are required to set an example to the goats.” It’s a good job that Mussolini is not a Turk, or,-the council would receive an ultimatum®from Angora. Arr Simon Simple w rites :—T had a curious experience with a foreigner in this city the other day. Looking around for someone to direct me to the rooms of the Philosophical Society 1 noticed a rather rough looking fellowleaning against a building and addressed him thus: — “If you please, can you direct me to the apartments occupied by the Philosophical Society?” “ Cam putc-her wize,” he replied. “ T wish to know in which of these buildings the Philosophical Society holds its meetings.” I explained. “Ukin surchmee,” was his response as near as I can reproduce it, and realising that he must bo a foreigner of some kind 1 hastened to apologise. “ 1 beg your pardon ; 1 was not aware that you were a foreigner.” “ Ooza dago?” he said, rather belligerently I thought. It seemed rather like Italian, but as T have no acquaintance with that language I tried lum with French, which most Europeans understand more or less. “ Paxlez-vous Francais?” I demanded. “ Quit kiddin.” ho shouted. “ nail dotcher wun.” And seeing that there was no possibility of making him understand I left him. Aon will notice that some of his words- such as ‘quit’ and ‘wize.’ bear some resemblance to English, but- no bearing on the subject of mv question. T am writing this in the hope that some native of the same land may see lit and understand that his services as an interpreter are required. TTIOSE TR AIL ER S. When five o’clock is striking. And the office work is done, I put my books away, then wet or fine. I walk down t-o the corner Or perhaps sometimes 1 run. For a trailer on the Papanui line. When T ride in this contraption I am iolted hack and forth And the creaking and the rattling is apalling. Tt proceeds by steps and stages The direction somewhat north. _ Like a broken w inded “ Lizzie tnat is “stalling.* Oh. the rattling and the shaking And the everlasting din, Causes feelings that I cannot quite define. They drive old ladies crazy And the younger ones t > sin. Do the trailers on the Fapamu line. 1 have ridden in all raanne. Of conveyances, and yet— To ride in one of these we should decline. There is nothing else on earth, T'm prepared to take a betLike the trailers on tile Papanui line. Ti is sanl that. Station 3 A.C. hawireless eves. This opinion is rapidlv raining ground in Christchurch in view of the fact that 3 A.C. lias a broad cast. A North Island paper has the follow ing advertisement: " Boom to let. single, furnished, suitable for walking person or couple.” This is an excellent chance lor a re specta bl e somnambulist. “ Sinb&d.” said the wife last night, “ if you don’t come home earlier from Shirley you will drive me silly. > countered : “ Afv dear, twould not be a drive, but a short putt.” T was in the Square yesterday after noon as a No. 2 car was leaving. As it moved out a corpulent dame stooped and. gathering something which had fluttered from the tram, got a flying start, from the Safety Zone and galloped after the car. The constable on point duty sized up the situation, and hi.mighty palm held the car yp at the Bank Corner. Reaching the stationsry car. the female fairly staggered the wondering conductor by handing him a i crumpled ticket, at the same time gasp I 1 ing out; “This fell off your car.” SIN BAD.