SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17080, 29 June 1923, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

verses for this a daily feature of tlie “Star.” warded tho Editor, who will * era it thi amounts payable. They have discovered a secret murder club in Berlin. I suppose subscriptions are payable in advance; but, even, so, I feci like joining. Why? Oh, well, listen I’d like to join a murder club, There are some men I’d like to kill; j I’d like to hit them with a club Or give them poison when they’re ill. Tho mi lonian who will make a noise When I’m asleep at four o’clock, -It would be one of life’s real joys To give his head a stunning knock. ! The barber who won’t cub my hair, But pulls it all out by the root; How nico .to walk into his lair, Get one’s revolver out, and shoot. The chap one sometimes meets at night Who says that “ it’s a beastly bore.” How grand to swing a deadly right And lay him stiff upon the floor. The tailor-man who makes my clothes, And says, “My word, you’re getting stout,” And looks hard at niv purple nose. Gadzooks, I’d like to push him out. The chap who lives next door but one, And starts bis trombone scales at nine, If I could get him with a gun My membership I’d then resign. If Sir Maui Pomaro keeps a book of newspaper clippings, all the nice things said about his appointment as Minister of Health won’t fill many pages. AN ODE TO THE PIECART. Tho sacred muse I now indite., Thy praise O pie cart to recite—- | For when by wintry wind I’m tost, ] ! And when I’m frozen by the frost, And when I’m wetted by the rain—j i never turn to thee in vain. When I have seen my sweetheart home. And wearily through town I roam, Because I’ve missed the last darn car--1 scent thy presence from afar; Then quickly all my tiredness flies, j My mouth grows moist as of thy pies 1 I think, and wondrous are my joys j When soon I sniff tho saveloys. Unto thy presence fast I speed, My empty inner man to feed With pies and savs placed on thy shelf j By my “ frail ” friend-—the slender AM | Who fills with coffee hot my cup, i And on my plate piles taters up, ; And asks me if I’d like to try I Some onion salad on my pie ; But- if I fear this would repeat Ho has a. substitute called beet — And also he provides of course, Salt, pepper and sweet A\ orcestcr ; sauce. Oh 1 piecarfc, thou hast been to me, A refuge in adversity ; My blessing take—long may you reign ! In Christchurch, city of the plain! j The City Council, in its wisdom, has ; decided that queues arc dangerous j things, and is moving accordingly. I My children! Hearken! \ And it came to pass that, in the days i of the movie rage, there came to a cor- j tain town a picture, which picture was ; widely known and greatly advertised, j And much talk was circulated concern- ! ing it. j Now, upon the morn that the book- , ing for the super-feature opened, there I formed a queue outside- the place of j booking, and many there were who j sought admission; and the heart of the | head of the picture-palace was glad j within him when ho heard I Very soon, after tho queue began to j form, there stirred within a certain j office a youth, who was desirous of 1 escorting a certain damsel to the pic- j t-ure-theatre. This same, having gazed j upon the face oi : the clock and found > it well advanced, slipped hurriedly out- f the office door and turned his stealthy j steps unto the place of booking. Three minutes later there also fol- ! lowed in his path another figure from | the same door. And the twain stood j one in front of tho ether in the queue, ! yet knew it not. As the line lengthened, there arose much jostling and pushing; and the youth, who was of an impetuous mind, pushed back. And as he pushed, he spoke; and hot and fiery were liis words. And as lie shoved, he turned ; and 10, it- was his Manager who gazed upon him! And the heart of the youth sank within him 1 But tlie queue moved on, and so did the youth, and 10, as he booked the last seats, ho -grinned* and was triumphant. And the Manager, whose leet were cold and whose indignation was hot, perforce was beaten. And he sent for the youth; and spoke sternly to him when he had returned. And the youth was seen in that place no morel Know then that queues are dangerous things; and they that go down to them are caught Ju a snare. How very hard it is to be Quito full of cheer and happy glee In this fair town. Whoe'er you meet, When walking up or down the street. Will greet you with a graveyard cough. As if his head were lifting oil. Then as his head shuts down again Ho murmurs low: “ It looks like rain.” Jn vain you cheerily remark: Why. sco the sun.” a hollow bark 1 Will greet your words. Tho sun ne’er shone ) On such a. pair, disgruntled mon . J And when you say. “ The end of June ! Is nearly here ; we ll have spring soon.” lie sniffs and says, ••Then snow and Wo may expect have again, for every follow knows, ’ lie’ll say. These follow on the shortest day.” A Reform journal is agitating for the appointment of Parliamentary i.ndor-secretaries to do the detail work | for tho Ministers. And when all the j appointments have been made the rar.u ! and iile of the Reform Party will be j able Lo put on his hat and go home. I n view of the uoisy behaviour of the j Scottish members in the House or j Commons it is expected that the big j slogan in England at tlie next general j election will be “ llotnc Rule lor Sou 1 } j land!” M. Flammarion thinks it- probable that we return to tho earth, after death, and live again. Perhaps so. but ciio great man thought otherwiseSomeone wrote to fiim and asked : “ .If wo die, do wo live again r” And th.* reply was: “ No, and w© don’t want to.” In the great/ race to get out- of tho newspapers Bulgarian Revolution beat Aft Etna eruption by half a column. The Persian Government has again res-igned And difficulty it anticipated in finding anyone who will accept the 1 Premiership.—News item ] As Ron Do Valera, doesn't seem dis- | posed to take a part in Spain’s Little ! Wars the- Shah of Persia would be well i iulvKed to drop him a line. SIN BAD.