STUDENTS AMOK.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17038, 11 May 1923, Page 8

STUDENTS AMOK.

REVELS IN THE SQUARE. TOMBS AND OTHER THINGS A\eve just a wee >drap in oor eel H«ck havers! Hoot awa’, men! Fit ails ye at the Barley Bree ? Gruid health tae “ Twa-Tank ” Haraen! Floods could not subdue nor rains dispel the jolly ardour of the students. With bugles, horses, elephants, and motor-cars, they invaded the Square, and the populace gathered round to hear their song. Mostly it was about one of the Kings of Egypt. but topical subjects such as floods, jubilees and competitions came in for frequent reference. The procession would have made a circus proud. River police with battered eyes and batons led off, clearing a track along Worcester Street. After them was a troupe of dark-ex-ed Egyptian dancing girls, preceding the students’ King and Queen. The Royal pair werp driven in one of yesterday’s taxi cabs, but it had one advantage— The King was able to climb on. top and swop cigarettes with his subjects. •Then, there were officials of state, occupying a motor vehicle branded as “ Toot’s Chariot.” It was about 20 years more ancient than the taxi cab. A big lorry was decorated with signs proclaiming “Royal Renovated Relics. Toys Taken from Toot’s Tomb.” In the lorry were, appropriately enough, tanks and baths and hand basins, all the worse for wear.

The next lorry had a group representing, according to the placard, the bootleggers’ drama. “ Drawn from Death.” There was also a 6ign branded

“The E-Luxor of Life” over a barrel that may have contained beer. In turn came a Wild West Show, and trotting sulky and a milk supply waggon. This waggon had signs which said “ Christchurch milk. One per cent water. 99 per cent live stock. Milk-oli ; milk-can ; milk-water. Extra large vitamines. Every day and in every way they grow livelier and livlier.” Crude drawings told the rest of the story. A snufF-up and gargle brigade, a bathing belle from the Kaiapo-i Domain, a smartly turned-out polo team, and the Sentimental Bloke and family swelled the procession, making a lively picture. In between the lorries were members of the beauty chorus, an elephant out of the Ark of Kaiapoi, Sisters of Mercy and a Bearer Brigade with the world’s champion stroking his medals. Additional lorries carried the “ Christchurch Exhibition—try our flour and kill your husband,” and “ The Offishal Opening of the Arthur’s Pass Tunnel to the West Coast—land of pubs and more pubs. Date—this year, next- year,

sometime, never." Another sign somewhere bore the inscription “To Tank Our Men?? Amen.” After holding up the tram service and. opening “ Ttoot’s ” tomb, the procession. watched by thousands of people, marched round the Square and come to a standstill under Warner’s verandah. Trumpets blew while the Royal party came out on the balcony and there was wild cheering when the Archbishop ” put up his hand for the opening announcement. Studens Rex was in uniform with a purple cloak round his shoulders. Addressing the people gathered below as inhabitants of the city of floods, he said it was with great pleasure that he saw such a motley crew gathered together to hear a witty speech fraught as it were with life and death. He introduced his confrere, King Toot-, who was in their midst to-dav after sleeping 22,000 years, 6 week 5 hours and 24 seconds. They had • also with them graduates of the venerable university, present expressly for the purpose of seeing ; this magnificent'procession.” During the applause which followed this remark someone handed the King a bottle. He saluted and drank. Proceeding, lie said that they were sorry to learn that the greater part of the college jubilee celebrations was taken up with dinners and what-nots. As far as the city was concerned, they had a good deal to thank Dr Thacker for, especially the lights on the bridges for the purpose of guiding those who wandered round the banks of the Avon. Hoav©ver, water-proof sheets might be better than more lights. He regretted that the competitions committee, a set of fatuous raving fools,” had not seen fit co give up the use of the Theatre Royal to the students for three nights for their magnificent extraA’aganza—eK for further particulars apply to Brother Beebe. He is still on the job.” Congratulations were extended to Mr .1. A. Flesher on being a strong prohibitionist. and on his election to the Mayoral chair. Mr Sullivan was con- , gratulated on liis honourable defeat, and they were sorry he avos unable to advance a- big enough sum to buy the newspapers. The Royal speech concluded after condemning modern dancing, and the insurgent mob at Rolleston House. The Queen, she said so herself, only \vor.e her second best dress, and her A'oice was hoarse. She apologised for missing a receptiod at the Canterbury Y\ omen’s Olub and gaA r e the modest maidens and gentle flappers present some advice. The “Archbishop” read a lesson to the effect that the interest was 100 per cent and that it must be paid on Judgment Summons’ Day. Toot, lie ■said, had been resurrected and so had Put-and-Take. After the burials came births. He had not- been able to book his on the Mararoa. Anyway on Monday, there would be a meeting of the Church Financial Committee—he Avould not be there. On Tuesday, the Rev Howard Elliott would be met by some of his friends from Barbadoes Street —the police would be there. King Toot, “lately resuweeted in an excellent state of preservation,” made a dignified speech comparing dress, manners and dancing in the time of the Pharaohs with the rotten state of societv to-day. While lie was speaking the “Archbishop” retired to the room with the long counter downstairs, and the Queen lit a. cigar. She was beautiful and unconventional. After that the procession broke up into pieces but the revels went on.