Fashions and Furbelows

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17031, 3 May 1923, Page 4

Fashions and Furbelows

IMoies by Special Contributors

THE CASUAL CALI

Paying calls, as a habit, is almost extinct among many women whose mo ■ thers and grandmothers certainly regarded the custom as a necessary and pleasant part of life. This is because m new section lias been* formed in so ciety. the class which toils and spins, writes and paints, does secretarial work and accounts. Precise hours for calling have become, impossible, and the precisians have stopped calling, for which we are obliged to them. Others drop in when they feci inclined. Casual callers may bo a delight; they may also be the reverse. There more art in the successful casual call than in the formal visit. One i 9 hounded on all sides by rules; it is indeed one or humanity s-defences against excessx\e talkativeness and indecision when to go. The other marks or si.ould mark, a degree or intiinaev sar* remiers sueh safeguards unnecesThis is just where the trouble lies today. AA e have cast off shackles without acquiring spontaneous good taste or real considerateness. At least,, this is true of some women. f heard the wife of a busy man—she herself being i worker, too —sigh over a. note she had received from an acquaintance, wh > wrote: “I have been so sorry not to meet you lately, and 1 -want to talk to you about some sketches of mine which you may perhaps be able to help me so 1 will drop in and sec you one Sunday afternoon soon.” J bore is the man who calls just beiore dinner, prepared for two (he makes a third), is served. And the girl who comes in in the middle of tlie morning to show you her new hat must be count - e 1 among the offenders. How can we cope with these or with visitors who don’t or won't- see that *’ e to get on with our work or are too tired to talk—or listen? A\'e are likely to end by deciding to lose our reputation for hospitality. To assume that we are always and inevitably pleasing to people who enjoy our society sometimes is to lay up i store of chilliness for ourselves in the future. Companionship is « variable and subtle thing, ms are all things which have the stuff of life in them. It* joys cannot be forced.

REST YOUR NERVES.

When you’re feeling liervv and worried. how easy it is to become irritable and gloomy. Before you know where you are. a less pleasant side of your character gets the upper hand, and you tool ripe for a quarrel. Oi course, a. dray or two later you realise it was ail nerves that made Von led so disagreeable. On looking l/ack vou regret, having lei yourself go like that, so you make a resolution that the next time your nerves are all on edge you will keep yourseh a bit more in band. But nerves can play havoc with a man's temper, and if they get you that wav the only thing to do to prevent another display of temper or .surliness is to see that your nerves don’t got frayed. • I he way to keep your nerves in good working order is to ve.,i them whenever '° ll c, ‘ )n ' ,or> like every other part oi you. your nerves require rest some times. Bul how often does a busy man allow his nerves to rest? Not often. Jus* watch him a* he sits in his ’bus or tram on the way heme. He doesn't keep still for ten seconds at a time. One moment ho F fidgeting with liis ticket, tho next, perhaps. with his moustache or coni collar, and so on nn til the end of the journey. Ail these unnecessary movement* mean a waste of energy and a continual drain on the nerve force, which in > few weeks mounts up tremendously. Nerves are bound to “give” sooner or later under such treatment. To make your nerves your friends instead of vour enemies you must treat them with care and respect, for they arc very delicate organs. A\ hen yon have a few minutes to spare, give them a rest. Sit in nn easy chair with all your muscles relaxed and try to think about- nothing except the ease ol your position. Enjov the fact that you are quite stjjl. U the nervous desire to scratch your head or move your hand conies to you. revisit it and remain still. Tn a moment the wish to move will go. In this way your nerves, which have been on the jump all day. will have a chance to rest and store up much valuable energy. If this is carried out every day. before a very few weeks have passed the benefit of it will he felt. 'Hie little hursts of bad temper and annoyance at nothing will become things of the past.

HARBOUR LIGHTS GIRLS’ CLUB.

Last evening, in tlie Jellicoe Hall, ihe members of the Harbour Lights Girls* Club held an enjoyable dance, the Funds from which will go to buy much needed kitchen furniture lot* the R.S.A. rooms. Large’s Banjo Orchestra supplied dance music, and the hall was prettily decorated in pale pink ami blue, the- stage being massed with autumn foliage. Mrs J. C. Holmes, president of th*. club, wore h pretty gown of pearl grey corded silk, heavily embroidered in black and chalk beads. Her daughter. Airs J. Mason, wore shell pink crepe de chine and georgette : Mrs Sta-nyev, black net. heavily sequined. over satin: Airs Marshall, black satin wiTi handsome jet trimming. Amongst the dancers were: Mieses L. Perrv, M. Russell, D. Harvey. F. Donaldson, X. Abraham. O. Good. G. Mun.ro, D. Love. Fraser (chairwoman). ;•!. Rage. H. Jowsey, V. Rerry, Al. Bury. N. Maty, Bates. Pearce. Mills. Pirrie. Keir, Johns! Mrs ;-.nd Miss IT neks. Craig. Andrews. ALi;:ey. Air and Mrs Robertson. Messrs Cillinan. H. AA’icks. Hucks, Ale near, F. AA’icks, Donaldson, Tindall (2), Nicholson, and Robertson.

PUTTING LOVE TO THE TEST.

A young woman wants to know what love is, and how to tell if she is really in love or not. She says she had a perfect picture in her mind of what- love was, and how she would feel when she fell in love. She expected to experience wild thrills and tremors, but- to her amazement the thing isn’t working out that way at all. She thinks she is in love. but her temperature remain* normal. Instead of yearing to throw her arms about the neck of her man. and looking to him to support ’her and protect her from the cruel world, her impulse is to mother him.

THE MOTHERING INSTINCT. Is t-bis love? 1 should say it is. It's \ love that is guaranteed to stand the wear and tear of matrimony without fading in the wash, or shrinking. or ! frazzling out around tlie edges. Poets aucl novelists have made of j love a romantic ccsta-cy. an emotional j /orgy. They have thought that tho : measure of one's love is one’s feelings. They have actually made raving m- I sanity a proof of perfect devotion. All the great lovers of romance have been depicted as so strange in mind ; that any alienist- -would have sent them ; to an aslyum instead of giving them a ' marriage licence. Nevertheless. the | conduct of these strange creatures has ■ made the standard by which we judgelove. Which is a pity. No .normal, sane, j healthy man or woman, goes through j the thrills and tremors w hich the neur- i otic heroes and heroines of stories ex- j perience. Only highly emotional and i unbalanced individuals can persuade themselves into believing that' they will pine away if they cannot get some particular man oi woman. It is only the futile and the foolhardy who are guided by their hearts instead of their heads, and who gratify their desires at The cJd slogan. •’ All for love .and j tho world well lost.” i.- a misleading ■ doctrine, for the sum of human experi* 1 ence shows that when wo lose the world j wo soon lose love also. The ill-advised j affections upon which convention fails j to smile seldom survive long, no mat- j ter how violent and hectic they were in | the beginning. Look how soon the millionariess who j elopes with her chauffeur sues for di- 1 voree! Observe the frequency with : which college boys who have eloped with chorus-girls seek to have their \ marriages annulled ! No. The real test, of loro i< not j fooling, but doing. Tho ultimate proof j of love is not dying lor another. but j living for another. A man does not show how much he . love.s a -woman by marrying her when ' ho lias no means of supporting her. Ho I proves his affection by refusing to drag : her down into tho depths of poverty. A woman does not show her devotion to a man by marrying him when j she will bo a millstone around Ms ! nook. She waits until her love can be i a blessing, and not n curse to him. j The real essence of love is unselfishness. Tr is the putting of another’s j happiness and well-being before one’s j own. and those who are not willing do this do not Know what real love is. Real love does not- ask. It gives with both hands. Tlie woman who really loves a man has in her love always something the maternal. She does not think of him merely as a provider—someone to work for her and give her jewels and fine clothes. She wants to take care of him. and to make her anus a refuge and comfort to which lie may turn in time cf trouble.

CHRISTCHURCH LADIES’ GOLF CLUB.

Ihe monthly L.G.V. medal match wa . played at Shirley yesterday by the Christchurch Ladies’ Golf C'-lub. Th* 1 weather was ideal and tho course and greens were in perfect condition. There was a large entry and some good scoring was done. All’s Kingscote won in the- silver division, while Airs Lythgoe anil Miss Cameron Smith tied for first place in the bronze division. The tie will he played off next Tuesday. The following- cards were handed

Gross Hep. Net Mrs Kings cote . 82 12 70 Miss Hailev 94 IS v i; Miss Be a del 87 7 Mis Francis 101 20 81 Mrs Godbv 9 5 12 Miss "Wilkin Miss 1*. Cracroft J 02 19 83 Wilson . 88 1 81 Mrs Bristeel 704 20 84 Miss Anderson . 95 9 86 Miss White-Parsons 105 19 S6 Mrs Donald 97 10 Miss Dixon 91 6 88 Miss Konaldson 106 18 88 Miss Bristed im 12 89 Miss N. Knight 105 Hi 89 M>s Cameron S.nitli 100 21 79 Mrs Lythgoe Mrs Langford 115 nr 36 52 79 82 Miss D. Diamond 11 :l 30 Miss Enright . 105 *>1 81 Miss Clavden . 118 31 Mrs Stringer 111 25 86 Mrs Mills 115 28 87