SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17029, 1 May 1923, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

lUadwt ore invited to toad in topical paragraphs or verses for the column, which is a daily feature ef the • 4 Star." Accepted contribution* should be out out by the writers and forwarded to the Editor, who will room the amount* payable. It is stated that next time Mr R. B. Owen stands for a proportional representation poll he is going to change his name to Absalom. Examination paper for footballers. allowed, six months.) Do you think football should be tanght during working hours in primary schools provided that ten-elevenths of the children’s parents express a wish that suoh instruction be given ? State any points of comparison between Mariats and Sydenham. Do you consider that the opinion of 28-30ths of the spectators should overrule the decision of the referee? And it so, what provision would you make to insure the spectators polling early? How would you distinguish Association from League? Give your interpretation of “Come awa th’ Greens.” What suggestion can you make to prevent any match being drawn. (Confine your answer to 25,000 words.) Why haven’t you written a book of rules on football P If you have, why have you ? *** A woman writer complains of the monotony of the breakfast menu. Nonsense. Look at the hidden surprises in a boiled egg. The only certain cure for seasioknesa is to go for «n hour’s walk five minutes before the boat sails. A correspondent: “Moths in hair. Cure wanted.” You forget to say if it was your own hair. A candid announcement in a tobacconist’s window: “Shaving brushes: Badger 3s fid ; Pure Badger 5s fid ; Real Badger 8s 6d.” Over six hundred pounds was taken in the streets last Tuseday. Where were the police? Suggestion for coloured poster extolling the virtue of banking: “I know a bank.” “'Where?** “In Hereford Street.” “Who lives there?” “ The Bank Manager.” “ What does he do?” “ Takes care of your money.” To the Teller, Bank of M. Dear Sir, —Ten years ago I deposited a sum of money in your Bank. Last week when I called I found it still there.—Yours truly, Arthur Needit. I call my new maid ‘ The Wireless Wonder.’ ” “Why?” “ Because she’s always ‘ listening “Did you try to console th© widow of the man who was killed in that mo-tor-car accident?” “ Yes—l told her she could remember always that her husband was on his right side.” One of Sweden’s scientists says we will have sunshine for 86,000,000.000 years. That, being settled, how long will the moonshine last? Jack: “ Are you opposed to women getting men's wages?” Mack: “Yes; but Henrietta gets mine just the same.” “ Why are you putting that greasy stuff on your lips, mummy?” “ Because they’re a little cracked, dear.” “ Ts that the same stuff daddy puts on bis head every morning, mummy?” Mason : “ How did the wedding come off to-day?” Pearson : “ Without a hitch.” Mason : “ Glad to hear it.* 5 Pearson : ‘ I said without a hitch. The bride backed out at the last minute.” “ Solomon was a- wise man.” ‘ Yes,” replied our M.P., “he married a great many women. but he shaped his government so that he did not have to depend on their votes.” “Do you think your husband was broadened by his European trip?” “No; flattened.” “ Why did you remove your ‘ Do it now’ sign that hung over your desk?” “ I couldn’t stand the way the bill collectors looked at it when I told them to call again to-morrow.” Hatless and with the sweat'running into his eyes, the young man dashed up the platform as the 5.15 pulled out. As the porter watched, he remarked: “Trying to catch the 5.15?” “No. you idiot; T was just trying to frighten it out of the station.” “Oh. I dearly love fairy tales!” exclaimed the new young wife. “ Yes, now you do.” said the season ed wife. “ but wnit’ll he doesn't hand vou auv other kind.” FOODS WE ARE FED UP 'WITH. (By Mr Justa Snack.) Breakfast. Peanut Porridge.—Shell one pint of neanuts and crush them, thoroughly with a lawn mower. (This makes a de lightful morning exercise.) Stiffen with a little starch and boil for an hour. Pepper to taste and serve hot. Lunch. Should be a light meal. Try this. Curried Raisins.—Take as many sultanas as you can buy wholesale on a rising market, noting that they are plump and pleasant looking. Stew thenin a pot with plen-tv of well cooked rice and a sou peon of chilis and a few walnuts. Stir with a curry comb and serve in a dark room Tea. Repeat as for breakfast. Use the roller instead of the mower. Ruler Wanted.—Required immediately. for Wellington, a capable and experienced ruler. —Advt. in a paper on Tuesday. Among the applicants for the position, we understand, are several unemployed former sovereigns of Europe