SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17028, 30 April 1923, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

Readers are invited to send In original topical paragraphs or versos for the column, which ia a daily feature of the Star.” Accepted contributions should bo cut out by tho writers and forwarded to the Editor, who will remit the amounts payable. Who says that the Englishman takes liis pleasures sadly? Of course this morning’s story of the football riot, was all very interesting, but what Sinbad wanted to know was. Who won ? The Cup tie riot at Home reminds Sinbad of the Scotchman who walked a- hundred miles to see a similar final, but on his arrival wae too exhausted to climb the fence. THE SEVEN AGES OF AMBITION. To be a Tram Conductor. To be a. Pirate. To be a Rep. Footballer. To be a Distinguished Author. To own a Motor-car. To recover one’s Lost Digestion. To become a Centenarian. Some choir boys in England recently were summoned before the Magistrate on the charge of chasing and kissing girls after church service. The Magistrate, according to the cable message, ordered the boys to refrain from kissing girls for one year. Quite right, too; even a movie kiss should not last that long. There is always a keen demand for new’ parlour games and the following are some I can heartily recommend. Scandal.—This game can be played by any number. The names of all the company are put into a hat or box and two names are drawn out. The owner of the first name drawn is then entitled to make public any bit of scandal she knows, or can invent, about the owner of the second name, who, in her turn, can do the same about the person whose name is on the third paper. This is a splendid game for promoting good fellowship. Books.—Take several books from the host’s bookshelves and cut pieces about two inches square from some of the pages. Distribute these pieces to the company, who must then endeavour to guess the title of the boo-k from which each piece, has been cut. The host will doubtless he delighted to donate a prize for this competition. Drawing designs on the walls with a red hot poker and shooting ink at the guests with water pistols are games which never fail to cause endless amusement.

BREVITIES. If you would have peace at home you must get specie abroad. The modern u oman is the victim of a rampant mania for possessing things. Beauty is supposed to be woman’s special prerogative. Some women’s ideas of beauty are limited to the matter of complexion. Clothes were invented for two purposes : to keep you warm and to prevent cab horses shying. TO SOME CRITICS (by Cynicus). The captious critic speaks, and having spoke Sits down; nor shall thy show of wit or joke Retract the vulgar terms, the scathing words The critic’s ill-formed judgment loves to poke. Advice! Offence! the critics hardly And common-sense is neither here nor there. But come with me, let carping critics waste Luxurious sweets upon the desert air. Ah, Editors- my verses are not sought, The critics term these themes outrageous rot. How oft for me hereafter shall they look Through this same column when I’ve written naught. Answer to correspondent: A croquette, I believe, is a female croquet player. An item of news from America states that a Southerner has trained a silk worm to sing co-coon songs. Nearly as bad as asking a sea snake to see Samoa. There is good news for those clerks and typists who suck and chew their pencils. A company has been formed to exploit an invention w'hich substitutes for the wood a casing of choco-late-covered chewing gum. “ A Football Split,” shrieks a news headline. Poor material, I suppose. What are the qualities of a man that appeal in business? Whiskers? No. Ability to pick winners? No. Knowledge of the political situation? No. The real question is—How to look old. The young man has had his day. Youth has given way to age. It takes a man at least twenty-three years to master the art of wrapping a pound of butter. It takes him a further five years to gain the skill necessary to break a piece of string with his fingers. Young men, “How to look old” is a crying necessity in business these days. The following" may help you achieve that noble end:—Cultivate a. slow, mournful smile. This is best obtained hv nightly applications of strips or adhesive plaster to the facial muscles. Avoid an excess of hair ; use a strong "steel comb, and buy a bottle of hair tonic. To increase the waist measurement —a full front is necessary business —year one or more large sand bags beneath the waistcoat. |° flatten the face, stand lightly on the toes and bend forward with hands on hips until the nose nearly touches the floor. Then, by a succession of quick, forward movements bring the former into contact with the latter withou altering the position of the feet. Adopt a suave manner by the following process. Stand in front of a mirror, and go through the process of washing your hands. Repeat every five minutes until proficient. —l have outlined a few practical hints above which young men in business would be well advised to follow. My book ‘ How to Look Old” is on sale at all chemists. It is, etc-, \ DAY IN THE LTFE OF ANY FILM STAR. 6 a.m. rise. 6.30 a.m. first sitting with photographer; photographed in dressing gown. 7 a.m. family groupS a.m. breakfast. 9 a.m. special photograph for “film firmament” 10 a.m. family group. Husband sitting on fence- Towser the dog, and selfgazing fixedly at rose bush. 10.30 a.m. photographed for postcards. 11 a.m. photographed with mother. 11.30 a.m. sign photographs for “fans”; count stamps, postal notes and money orders. 12, photographed in motor-car. 1 p.m. photographed at lunch. 2 p.m. photographed for shampoo advertisement. 3 p.m. photographed with sister; light getting bad. 4-6 p.m. rest. 6.30 o.m. photographed at tea. 10 p.m. flashlight photograph saying goodnight-; husband and Towser. the dog, standing on stairs To-morrow, repeat. SINBAD.