Among the Poets

Star (Christchurch), Issue 17027, 28 April 1923, Page 4 (Supplement)

Among the Poets

I A Bouquet of Verses

GREEN AND SILVER.

beauty of this rainy day f green and dripping gray, Was stolen, quit© my heart away Horn all the tasks I meant to do, Hade me forget the resolute blue Hid energetic gold of things . . . H soft a song the rain-bird sings. H>t am I glad to miss awhile sun’s huge domineering smile, busy spaces mile on mile, in behind this shimmering screen ailing pearls and phantom green; a cloister walled with rain, from intrusions, voices vain, lifl hurry of invading feet in my retreat. —Richard LeGallienne.

AN EPITAPH.

Hpopied. from an old gravestone in Hshey Churchyard, South of EngPCd.) Here lies a poor woman Who always was tired. For she lived in a place Where help wasn’t hired. Her last words on earth Were, Dear friends I am going Where washing ain’t done, ■Nor sweeping nor sewing; Hind everything there is exact to my wishes, there they don’t eat, no washing of dishes ; ■flH&l>e where lead anthems WB always be ringing. ||i|^flßaa ving no voice, out of the singing, mourn for me now ; for me ever; going to do nothing and ever.

HU CRADLE SONG.

from the fields ! gently within. H softly. softly, coming in. is going me and from you, ar - v ' will fold him ||h mantle of blue! of the floor. of things half-door. the hold* ! §jr 'MM come thro’ I h round him in “Wild Hearth

PETALS.

fairies shook from oft the one by one. helped by their friend, the breeze, spread them on the grass, to in the sun. raggggjjjJPSfcj; b- -4. hey fetch'd them pansy R&d Rose leaf. Laburnum and white may— had them made, or so it’s my belief, Hlnto ball gowns to use some other day. apple petal*, when they fell. *&■-£?■ vrere white, somehow. I think .< i ries used their colour in the |jl||H night.'" D^B r tinting babies’ checks just the right pink.

THE LITTLE HOUSE.

I forget the little house ami leave to day. lor get what laughter is, •'’bat true lovers say. B^H 1 *°rget t^lc little house B. B *t«nd* alone to-night. forget the warmth of home, and candle-light. •‘forget the little house ■pMfU' my time must end, forget what neighbours mean, he value of a friend. forget the face of love, JPfrho sound of mirth and song, V hen I forget the little house Where I was glad so long. ~ I,le ‘ *»• Garrison in “Holland’s Magazine

RADIO foiCES.

Ii rough trackgeon’s flight; 7, calm and eep of night, d and sea. to me. voices come, nd song. 1 rhymes, it and strong, same!” ■ come to me ! p and fire commune but required be in tune, the key. ome to me ! ddin-dream, me and space! mgues divide, look on face, upper air, •erywhere.

Effie : “Jack, papa said we must not see each other any more.” Jack: “Indeed! Then T will turn out the gas.” He : ‘ ‘ The doctor says I had better go north for my health.” She: “ Would’nt it be cheaper to have it sent back by parcel post?” “ Jenkins, your house needs painting!” “ I can’t afford to buy paint for the house, Johnson.” “Eh?” “I’ve got eix daughters to buy paint for.’ 1 Agent : “But, mum, it’s a shame to let your husband’s life inauranoe lapse-” Mrs Soper (over washtub): “I’ll not pay another penny! I’ve paid regular for eight years, an’ I’ve had no luck yet!” “ What is your idea of capital punishment?” “Paying a man what yon owe 'him with GW man marks.” “ There is no particular pleasure in motoring these days.” “Too many oars—eh?” “No; too few pedestrians.” Teacher: “ How many senses are there?” Student: “Six.” How is that? I have only five.” “I know that. The other is comonmsense.”

Miserly Old Party: “ Here, my man, is a penny for you.” “ Thank you, sir. Sorry I have no change.” ‘•'This man has had a very uneventful life—he was never married,” said a knowing woman. Called upon to take the oath, a woman asked: i/What, have I to say my prayers?” “ When my wife advises me to do a thing, I find it advisable to do it,” said a much married man. “ The lives of most married women are spent in preventing their husbands making fools of themselves.” Visitor: “ Order me a taxi, I must catch the 4.25 train.” Commissionaire: “ A taxi won’t get you to the station in time, sir;” Visitor: “Well, order a couple-” Schoolmistress: “ Who can name one important thing we have now that we did not have one hundred years’ago?” Master Tommy : “ Me.” East: “North says he can write best on an empty somach.” West: “His stuff suggests to me that it was written with an empty head.” Education Office : “ This family is afflicted with incurable non -at tendance. ” < Teacher: “Do you know why we call our language the mother tongue?” Bright Child : “ Because father never gets a chance to use it.” Barrister: “But couldn’t you let me have some of his love letters?” Breach of Promise Client: “There weren’t any —we had wireless sets.” When a, defendant named “Sleep” was called several times there was no answer. Tom : “ They say people with opposite characteristics make the happiest marriages.” Tim: “Yes: that’s why f’m looking for a girl with money.” Mother. “ And did my little pet Learn anything to-day in school?” The 1 Pet : “ T learned two kids better 7 ?! to call me Mamma’s little pet.’ ”

Principal Boy (sadly): “I think I j ought to have another presentation j box of chocolates —this is getting very shabby. It was used all through last year’s pantomime ! ” Asked at Willeaden why her husband himself did not attend the court, an applicant replied : “He has no pluck, «*ir.” Magistrate: “Well, some modest and quite respect-able people do come here.” “ You don't do everything your wife tells you. do you?” a witness was asked. “ Ye«. everything. What is a man to do?” The widow asked: “Why don’t the police arrest the murderers and burglars. and not a poor woman who has lost Her husband and is looking for another?” Jack: “Does a rabbit’s foot really bring good luck?” Mack: “T should say «o. My wife felt one in mv money pocket once and thought it was a mouse.”

Berks: “I wish Napeoleon had been a Russian.” Serks: “Why?” “Well, that’s what I said he was on my examination paper” Doris: “ Why did Mabel turn down Von Stump’s proposal?” Dora: ‘.“Why. my dear, he’s a psycho-analyst. Think how perfectly terrible it would be to live with a man you couldn’t keep a secret from?” Father, is it true there is honour among thieves?” “Certainly not. They are no better than other people.” “ Mother, why did you marry father?” “So you’ve begun to wonder, too, have you?” “ I want, a goose, please.” “ Certainly, madam. TrussedP” “Oh, thanks awfully! I am rather short of cash.” Cycle Agent: “When are you going to pay for that machine you had from me?” Mr Hardtrp: “Pay for it? Why. you said that, in a short time it would pay for itself.” A conceited young man. seeing an old dam© driving some asses, remarked to her: “Good morning, mother of asses.” ‘ Good morning, my son,” was her reply. Not long since a village farmer was summoned for maintaining a nuisance in the shope of a piggery, the neighbours claiming the said piggery was detrimental to their health. The ru«ric gentleman argued his own case, and summed up thus: “ The neighbours say, your honour, that ’ogs is unhealthy ; I say they ain’t. Look at me : ain’t T ’ealthv?”

Vicar (addressing Sunday School) : “ And now. children, I hope you will have a very happy party, and remember the best way to make it so is to behave well.” Chorus: “ Same to you, sir.” “Our collection to-day, my. dear brethren,” said the rector, “is lor the clouting fund. At the same wine, may 1 earnestly impress upon you chat though the collection is lor tne clothing fund, it is not necessary to contribute buttons.” “My wife said ‘ No, 3 and if you are a married man you Know that’s final,’’ said the married man. “ M?idam. I am going to prove that your husoand lies money,” said, counsel to a woman. woman: “Then you’re clever; I’ve never been able to.” The attention of the passengers in an American smoking car was riveted on a strangely acting negro, tie rocked ' mmsell irom side to side without ceasing. ‘What’s the matter with you r ’ asked one man who was in the ear. “Does yer know Dan M'Gary?” ‘Ol course, J do-” “ Well, sab, he sold me a silver natch for twenty do-l-iars,” continued the negro, still swaying from side to side, “ and ef 1 stops movin’ this head way de watch don't go no moah.” “It is not true that my husband j drinks. I put him io bed every night iat nine o'clock," explained one loving I wife. [ “This is my third husband. Isn’t it i ; queer, they’ve all had the name Wil- | iiarn?” “ You’re a regular Bill collec- | tor.” ! Was your husband cool when the j burglar broke in the ether night?” I asked Mrs Jay- “ Cool ?” said Mrs Bee. j “ Wiiy, ho was Perfectly Arctic. He | shivered all over. i Jinks: “Never tell a man what you : would do in his place.” Jenks: “No. He might tell you what he would do ii he were in your place, and thcre’d be two liars instead of one-” “ Would you- bo able to give up this one room for the use of your landlord?” a tenant was asked. Tenant: “My mother-in-law occupies it at present. arid T would rather upset the landlord than upset her.” “ What did she say when you served the summons?” a witness was asked. “She said 'Thank you’—-the rest I’ll write down if you like.” Small Boy: “ Please. sir. father wants to know if it is true that there is such a thing as a. tobacco trust?” j Tobacconist: “ Yes. my lad. there is." . “ Well, father would like to be trusted I with two ounces.”