SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16986, 9 March 1923, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

Readers are invited to send in original topical paragraphs or verses for this column, which is a daily feature of the ” Star.” Accepted contributions should be cut out by the writers and forwarded to the Editor, who will remit the amounts payable. The Poultry Conference has opened at Nelson. Something .to crow about, for “Sleepy Hollow,” but after MacLa Ten’s strictures on their cricket it was the only obvious place, in New Zealand for experts in the business of producing duck eggs to assemble. “ Scorn and Tiff were companions in a five furlong sprint. They went well, finishing on terms.” Sporting par. Just as it should he, but Sinbad is glad that they finished on terms. “A mammoth’s tooth weighing 2201 b has been discovered in Westphalia.”— News par. Think of having toothache in a. 2201 b tooth—and thank Heaven you weren’t horn a mammoth. If yov had you'd be dead now, anyway. “ A Venerable Fake,’ 5 says a newspaper headline. Someone must be resurrecting that old Liberal-Red Alliance story. A hoard of real golden sovereigns was discovered buried beneath an apple tree in Christchurch recently. Marlborough will have to hide its diminished head and drop the claim to the title of ” Marl borough The Golden,” whilst even Nelson and Otago will have to admit that their apple trees don’t have windfalls like Canterbury’s. A complaint has been made to the Mayor that the only seats available in the gallery at the Theatre Royal are hard, wooden ones. He is asked to try and remedy this. It seems a bit hard on the City Council who for years have been endeavouring to run an entertainment at their meetings (which are free to the public) that they should b© called upon to bolster up an opposition to themselves espcially when the irreverent occasionally call them the “Christchurch Vaudeville Company.’’ THE ORACLE WHISPERS. The Sphinx, when appealed to, just jawed And said, “ Please be duly awed. You want me to tell Tauranga’s choice—well,” Then she mentioned a name—was it Ward? The half lady half lion said it seems

(A pound to some stray moonbeams) A dead cert that I can Say who won’t be the man. So I’ll leave you to guess—is it Fames? Though the Sphinx told me who-’d make his home in Tauranga electorate—lucky omen, I gave her my word I’d not tell what I heard. Still—sh—Joseph will be his cognomen. None but the shaved deserve the fair. “What’s On?” Whatever it is, it’s not on the chorus ladies. My neighbour who keeps fowls is growing cynical. He says that their early education has been neglected, as they mistake a cackle for an egg. “ Accident at Races.” Favourite must have won. From a newspaper serial story; “ Etlielberta, I love you—love you—love you. 1 beseech you if you have any continued to-morrow. Recent cabled item: A new aeroplane seating two people has been put on the English market. Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. You’ll go crazy at what I’ve got for you. We won’t have a stylish marriage, I can’t provide a carriage : But we’ll go gay, gliding away, In an aeroplane built for two. An American picture producer said recently that the pictures had done more than any other agency to make the i*est of the world familiar with the everyday life of America. As a constant attender of the pictures, I have pleasure in giving the impressions l have gathered of the land from which most of them come ; That half the people of America are crooks, and that the other half are Simple Simons for being taken in by the transparent wiles of the crooks. That the women are mostly bathing

beauties and society vamps. That in every marriage there, one of the parties is deceiving the other. That the fauna of America consists entirely of trick animals which are always doing stunts. That every country road in America ends in a sudden drop into a river, and that travellers always tear along these roads at a pace that makes it impossible for them to avoid falling into the water. That saving poor but pretty girls from the wiles of rich and unscrupulous men appeals to be one of America’s leading professions. That even the poorest girls there invariably wear sheer silk stockings. That business in America is conduct- 1 ed in a most haphazard and illegal

fashion. That their church congregations consist entirely of freakish-looking people, most of whom appear to suffer from St Vitus’s dance. Even the child mind is affected hy the advertising signs and hoardings, as the follow ing incident showsA lady and her little boy were travelling to the city in a tram, and opposite them was seated a man with a very ugly flat face. ‘•Ooh, mother, look at- that man,” whispered the boy. “he looks as if someone had said, Don’t argue!’ and he had argued.” Acrobats of the first order—Men who are keeping their heads above water by the skin of their teeth. SINBAD