SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16939, 13 January 1923, Page 8

SPINDRIFT.

BMdera are Invited to aend in original topical paragraphs or verses for thia vol limn, which is a daily feature of the " Star.” Accepted contributions should be cut- out by the writers and forwarded to the Editor, who will remit the amount* payable. “ Ladies’ Tan Coats only 37s 6d,” says a sale advertisement. But any lady can get a coat of tan for nothing at New Brighton. On Friday the Chatham Island chil dren are to visit the tanneries at AV oolston. To prevent sabotage perhaps it would be advisable to explain to them that this is not the sole aource of the supply of leather straps. On a midnight dark and .dreary Mr Massey, sad and weary, Safe him clown and sadly pondered O’er the happy days of yore. Darkly cursed he the election And the voters whose defection Left him quite without protection, Stranded on a hostile shore; \Yhen he needed that protection More than any time before. Long he studied every figure, Tried to make his total bigger, But no trick of mathematics Helped him to increase his score.. And he cried out; ‘‘Tell, oh, tell me Why misfortune thus befel me. Will my enemies compel me Nevermore on high to soar? Shall 1 never rule New Zealand As I used to do before?” And a voice from out the silence Seemed to whisper “ Nevermore.’* Then poor Massey, all a-tremble. Cried: “The House I will assemble; Surely from the Opposition 1 can lure a pair or more. Surely some poor Independent Will change his attitude contendant And place my star in the ascendant. YV here it has always been before; This will avert the threatened danger And make me safe for three years more.” But odcs again from out the silence Came the whisper “Nevermore.” For many weeks Mrs Subbubs has been without a maid, and when she at length succeeded in securing a specimen of this rare species she determined to do all in her power to retain her. “We wish to treat you just like a friend,” she said, “so would you prefer to be called Nellie or Miss Phipps?” “ Well, mum. replied the damsel, “most of me friends call me Phippsey.” In a northern town the following notice appears at various street crossings: “ Pedestrians are warned to keep a sharp watch while crossing the road.” Surely an alarm clock wonld be better. Eady: What would you give for a fine head of hair like mine? Another Lady : I don’t know. What did you give? p A Christchurob man’s wife was visiting Dunedin. He wrote her saying, “My Treasure, I send yon my best love.” She replied saying, “My Treasurer, please send your beet cheque.” Rumoured that the authorities over the hill ” want more music for their charges. Evidently not enough “ bars.** Millionaire Henry Ford is said to live with the regularity of a clook. But not by “tick.” A recent visitor to Christchurch says that the skirts are far above what he expected to see. Tnrko-Greek business: Turkish delight* “ New Gas Holder. 1 ’ Descriptive article surely of Parliament Buildings. Wellington. A RECIPE Take a vaudeville comedienne, a typiste, or a second housemaid : areas ’em extravagantly- in as little crepe de chine as possible, decorate with press notices and huge photographs of subject, in the garden, playing golf, driving, bathing (especially bathing), eating, drinking and walking. Allow to simmer in the public’s mind for a few weeks, then serve with a thin scenario. Result; The grandest, greatest, charmingest, entrancingest, humourousest, dramaticest (ad lib) artist on the world’s screen to-day. THE ORIGIN OF SCANDAL. Said Mrs A To Mrs J., In quite a confidential way, “ It seems to me That Mrs B. Takes too much . . something in her tea.” And Mrs J. To Mrs K. That very night was heard to say, She grieved to touch Upon it much. But Mrs B too K. . . such and such.” Then Mrs K.. Went straight away And told a friend the self-same day, f ‘ ’Twas sad to think ” Here came a wink—l: That Mrs B. was fond of drink.’* The friend’s disgust Was such she must Inform a fidond before she bust “ That Mrs B. At half past three. Was that far gone she couldn’t see.” This lady we Have mentioned she Was wont to call on Mts B, But at such news Could hardly choose But further calls, of course, refuse. Then Mrs 8., As you’ll agree. Quite properly—said she. that she Would surely track The scandal hack To those who made her look so black. Through Mrs X And Mrs J.. She got at last to Mrs A.. And asked her why. With cruel lie Bhe’d painted her so deep a die? Said Mrs A . In deep dismav, “ T’-m sure such things T never sav. T said that von Much stouter grew On too much sugar which you do.* Now Mrs -T And Mrs K . Are no more friends with Mrs A., And lust *cos «he Thought Mrs B No better than she ought to he This shows how von And others too. Must reallv know whfit others do. ’Ere von tell lies And make the breath of scandal ri--e - Once scandal lives—it never GTNBAD.