SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16908, 6 December 1922, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

Headers are Invited to sand in origins' topical paragraphs or verses for th - columD, which is a daily feature of th‘“Star.” Accepted contributions should be cut out by the writers and forwarded to the Editor, who will remit the amounts payable. A correspondent wishes t-c know whether “ P.P.A.” stands for “ Please Patronise Andrews,” or Peregrinating Propagandist’s Antics. Neither. The real meaning is “ Perfectly Pernicious Activities. 5 I The hoarding on*the shelter shed is coming in for blame; the 1 ram way Board has raised its head, ana, like onp wakened, from the dead, it looks and cries “For Shame! Oh. whence this most unsightly sight. thus says the Tramway Board; “it must nave sprung up in the night ; it would not. ’pon our souls, be right • if this thing were ignored. Alas, that our Cathedral Square should be thus desecrate; for God lev’s statue once was there, a work of art and passing fair: ah, woeful is our fate. The very trees seem withered quite. by this atrocious sign : for with its glaring colours bright; ’tis an offence both day and night, for still its searchlights shine. Oh verily it is a shame that things like this should be : that in New Zealand's honoured name this sign should flourish, all aflame for everyone to see. A poster of so fierce a shade we will no more permit for never do its colours fade ; to see the Shelter thus arrayed is hateful ; down with it ! Thus speaks the- Board with righteous rage, to folks like me and you : l hope 'tis but another stage, till they another war will wage and shift their Shelter too. The Swiss referendum on a proposal to make a levy of from eight to sixteen per cent on all fortunes over 80.000 francs aroused the greatest excitement throughout the country. “ An* quite light, too.” said Bill Barrier, to his cobber Tired Thomas: ‘ that's wot 1 say, pinch a bit off them wot can afford it.” “ ’.Ere, ’ere,'’ chimed Tired Thomas, “I think its a jolly good ideal*! Wot I ses Is this ’ere, that them blokes who has got all the 1m should ante up with some of it. Look at the likes of us pore blokes ! ’Ere we can’t gi* no work on account of the girls workin’ in the banks and sich-like, and the wimmen tryiiv to take beer away from us. A\ ot next. I. wonder? ’ “ An’ listen to this cove Ramsay MacDonald. Thomas.” said Bill. “ ’E say 1 that the Swiss levy scheme was different frofn the Labour Party’s scheme.’ Wot d’yer think er that: he asked. breathing heavily in Tommy’s ear. “ Ah!” said Thomas, heavily. e Yus!” said Bill. “ Now I arsks ver. how is it different? Yer don’t know ? Well, I’ll tell yer. The Swiss, who might be,, good coves for all T know, only want 18 per cent-; but our labour Party wants —100 per cent. See ? ” “ I see,” said Tired Thomas. Election time is drawing near. And through the country loud and clear The clarion note is sounding. I love to hear the speakers spout And sec them wave their arms about In manner most astounding. Each party calls the others black And on their methods makes attack. With stern and dark arraignment. They say that they are deeply grieved To see the country so deceived ; It*‘S quite an entertainment And then they turn the other side, And at their records point with pride In voices sweet as honey. 1 go to hear them one and all. It’s cheaper than a music hall And every bit as funny. You'd think to hear each candidate Tliat ho alone could save the State From drifting to perdition. And to reward his eloquence He gets a vote of confidence, Which is~his great ambition. The next night his opponent speak*. With specious arguments he seeks To win our approbation. *Si> to the breeze* our pails we trim. A vote of confidence in him Is passed by acclamation. I often wish that I could learn . If there is ever much return For all this breath expended : When we have heard them all declaim, No doubt each one will vote the same As he had first intended. The greatest possible precautions are being taken to protect M. Venizelos owing to the fear that his life may be attempted by several MacedonSwitzerland, —Cable. “ Some of your work. Shears? ” remarked Watson, looking up from his “ Star.” “ Be more explicit. Watson,” said the great detective testily. " What do you mean ? Am I attempting his life or guarding it!" Is that what you refer to? ” “ Yes,” replied Watson, a little subdued. “ I suppose you are responsible for the precautions? ” “ Your suppositions, my dear fellow',” said the sleuth sarcastically, “ are as usual, brilliantly correct. In his extremity, Veni has applied to me. Henceforth. 1 am his perpetual bodyguard. When he sits down in fear and trembling to his breakfast, I shall be there, suitably .disguised as a poached egg. W hen he walks out. also in fear and trembling. I shall be there, disguised as a moujik. When he transacts international business with the representatives of other powers. I shall be there, disguised as the plenipotentiary of ‘ Terra del Fuego.’ '” “’Ah!” said Watson admiringly, “then the man is saved!”

“ Levy on Capital,” says a newspaper headline. No—it is not a treatise by any eminent Semitic financier on how to amass shekels, but merely a Communistic venture in Switzerland. A yard of silk. A yard of lace. A wisp of tulle To give it grace; A flower placed Where flowers go— The skirt knee high. The back waist low ; One shoulder strap— No sign of sleeve. If she should sneeze,Good morning. Eve! Prohibitionist in railway carriage (to man displaying whisky bottle): “Do you know, my good man. I’ve never tasted spirits in my life.” Man, with bottle : “ S’all right, guv’ nor. don’t worry, you ain’t going to begin now.” DURING THE SHIPPING STRIKE First stoker : “ Say, Bill, what is this card?” Second Stoker: “That’s the saloon passengers’ menu, of course.” “ But what does it mean?” “ Oh, it means they get their soup, fish, meat and vegetables separately and call it a menu. In the fo’c’sle we get them all together and call it Irish stew.” SINBAD.