SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16750, 3 June 1922, Page 8

SPINDRIFT.

Readers are invited to send in origin*! topical paragraphs or verses for tnis column, which is a daily feature of the “ Star.” Accepted contributions should be cut out by the writers and forwarded to the' Editor, who will remit the amounts payable. An attempt was made to wreck the Brisbane express train bv placing a. sleeper across the rails.—Sydney cable. One theory is that it was a plank from the Labour Party’s platform ; another, that it was the log of the ship of State. Personally lam of opinion that, if tho Australian railways are at all like ours, it was the Railway Department that was sleeping. The office humorist thrust liis head in through the door and grinned upon his colleagues. “ I see there’s Samoa trouble,” he said; and the ghastly silence which followed was broken only by the whirr of an inkwell as it sped towards its goal. They’ll never finish. I should say, the tunnel at Otira ; for though for it the taxes pay, and though they cry. “Be patient, pray,” vet still the joyous opening day does not grow any nearer. ’Twill all be finished, thev T declare, before the year is ended ; the apperatus all is there, and men sufficient and to spare; and so the "Westland folk prepare a celebration splendid. But now 1 hear a new report, that does not sound so cheerful : asleep the Government’s been caught, for ballasting the time is short; noon my life I never thought that things could be so fearful. ’Tis many years since first we heard tho optimistic story; they said that “ Hustle” was the word, and blessed was tho early bird ■ with joyful cries our hearts thev stirred, and sang Otira's glory. “ Just wait,” they said. “ another v©ar. and then ’twill be completed ; the end is really drawing near, a few more months and ’twill be here ; and so the people need not fear, for wo’ll not be defeated. The tunnel drives are nearly through, and hurry’s all prevailing! there’s but a few more chains to hew, and this is easy going too; so really now the end’s in view, and all is now plain sailing.” They said this many years ago, and still they’re far from finished: the drive is through, but yet we know that ballasting is vevv slow ; but still to us a hope they show, with courage undiminished. We’re sick to death of this delay, and Westland's simply boiling: and still we hear the statesmen say that though they’ve laboured day bv day, tbe’ve not at present cleared the way, in spite of all their toiling. The agitation now I see, is daily growing stronger; I hope the people will decree that soon the line must finished be ; we’ve waited decades two or three ; w© cannot wait much longer. Lives of grousers oft remind us We can kick and howl and blow. And departing leave behind us Folks who’re glad to see us go. Let us then be up and grousing, From the first grey 6treak of dawn ; Then the people we are chousing Will be happy when we’re gawn. “ What is civilisation?” asks a writer. It’s where you stand at the Bank corner and wait for ten street cars, twenty motors, thirty motor-cycles, twenty-five bikes, and a dozen or fifteen motor trucks to pass before you dare make a try for the opposite corner. “ Should women he allowed, to select their own husbands?” asks a female lecturer. It might- be better, considering the fact that the law won’t allow n woman to select some other woman’s husband. *•* In a southern town a son has been born to Mr and Mrs Sugar. Of course, it’s the “ sweetest thing ever.” There never was a day too gloomy for the everlasting sunshine of happiness to dispel it, if you’ll just turn in and help to push away the clouds. “ I hear. I hear, but let me sleep!” wails a local poet- That sounds just like some men when friend wife digs them in the back and orders them out to light the kitchen fire and put on the porridge. Mary had a little skirt, Which was so short and tight. She had to get a chambermaid To peel it off at night. And everywhere that Mary went The men were all agape, Because they knew 'twas her intent To show her pretty shape. u * “ What is home without a mother?” runs the old saying- In these days of women’s clubs and mannish females, nearly everybody’s home is without a mother. A young man, while viriting his sweetheart in Woolston last Sunday, sprained his arm severely and won’t be able to use it for ten dayß. These caveman methods are no good. Tho German Black List includes the names of Several New Zealand officers, who are charged with cruelty to Germans interned in the Dominion. It is alleged that one officer positively refused to kiss the prisoners “goodnight ” before they went to bed.

Noticed a note in a daily paper tho other day to effect, that the Prisons Board was considering the question of hair and its treatment in tho caso of long term men. It would he a sad, sad affair if gentlemen temporarily banished were permitted to crow beards and wear long hair. Why? Because it would he cutting at the root of the short and serial story industry. Not that New Zealand authors do much writing or anything of that kind. But if the British authorities heard that Mnoriland was permitting prisoners to grow face fittings, they would naturally amend the regulations governing their own institutions. Then would the story writer feel the real pinch. No longer would a bullet-headed burglar peep cautiously over a rock as the warders search the hill side. Never again would childish fingers stroke the close-cropped scalp of the esc*-?ed convict as awaits the Jtrrivwl o,f the blood hovrrrds of the law. The world of romance will quickly vanish when an ex-criminal, having completed his life sentence, is allowed t-o leave the prison gates looking like a professional pianist or- a travelling advt. for a hair restorer. Astronomers declare that the light of some stars takes 400 000 years to reach the earth. So the New Zealand Railways needn’t boast any more A Christchurch ladv writes that •'he recently lost a pet cat under peculiar circumstances. The animal was sitting in front of the fire, and its owner was stroking it. when it suddenly stiffened out and died instantaneously. Undoubtedly the cat died from stroke. In consequence of the frequent divorces nowadays marriage will be known in future as “ the tie that j slips.” SIN BAD.