SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16736, 18 May 1922, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

Readers are invited to send in original topical paragrahs or verses for this column, which is a daily feature of the “ Star." Accepted contributions should be cut out by the writers and forwarded to the Editor, who will remit the amounts payable. Sir George Fuller promised a deputation that steps would be taken to urge the police to prohibit, seditious speeches in the Domain.—-Sydney cable. The time was Sunday evening and an orator insane Was spouting forth a lot of rot to crowds in the Domain. He wore a natty bowler and a tie of brightest red ; His socks and hanky matched his tie, and this is what he said:— 41 Oh, working men, oh working men, the time will shortly com© When you shall hear throughout the land the swelling battle drum. It will not Ik> so very long before the moment when Your leaders will send out the call to slay your fellow men. “ The bosses now are obstinate, the bosses arc perverse ; Tho portion of the working man has gone from bad to worse. The bosses sweat us every day, they cut our bonus too ; But still the time is coming when we’ll show ’em who is who. “Oh come, ye fiery Labourites, and rally round the flag— The banner waving over us. the good old red. red rag. Prepare. I say. your weapons, make ready for the fray ; Then fill your glass and drink with me a bumper to ‘ The Day ! * ** And then there cam© a constable, a sturdy boy in blue ; He saw the crowd, rushed to the scene, and forced a passage through. 1 And as he marched the speaker off. with handcuffs on his wrist. The budding Bolshie only said, “ All right, I won’t resist.” A cable states that the planet Mars is travelling towards the earth at a sroeed of 1,000.000 miles daily, and that observations are being taken in North

America. Australia and New Zealand. This is most interesting, but more so is the fact that observations are also being taken in Mars. This is borne out by a series of Marsconigrams received by Professor Hawruss, who has been conducting experiments in i 11 ter-planetarv communlcations. The first message received was dated April 10, and read, “ Hullo, old top Still spinning. Am coming your way rapidly, and hope to be home for Christmas.” A second message was received on the 21st, and ran as follows:—“Getting closer. Can hear your politicians quite plain. "What's all this about disarmament? Why wasn’t I consulted?” A further message, dated the 25th, ran. “ For Jupiter’s sake shut up those Irishmen. I can’t hear myself think. The noise from Genoa >s something deafening; can’t you keep your house in order? ” Nothing more was heard until last night, when a rather fiery communication came across the ether. It read, “Petty awful row coming from your direction. This community singing craze gets my goat. Couldn't get a wink of sleep all day. This is a fine way to treat a visitor—first you invite him for a friendly call, then when he gets to the door you howl at him. If you can't behave yourself better than this, by Saturn, T’ve a good mind to turn round and go back.” In olden days before the craze for motors had the start, the girls would ride in honest pride behind a horse, and cart. It caused them joy to land a boy who owned a dandy gig—a lad who'd beau them round and show that he was not a prig. But gasoline and limousine have made the horse seem slow, and love to-day runs not the way it did long years ago. To win a girl, one now must whirl them out in motorcars ; one up to date, a model late, with neither iolts nor jars. A buggy ride won’t win a bride, that’s plainly to be seen. You’ve got to win the fair maid in one run by gasoline. THE NEW “ AMERICA.” My country, ’tis of thee, Great land of graft for me, Of thee I shout. I love thy oil-filled hills, Mv heart with rapture thrills As every oil well spills, And gushers spout ! That Kentucky man who died in horrible agony after drinking eight glasses jof buttermilk should have known I enough to stick to his beloved bootlegger’s brand of mountain dew. “ Leave me!” cried the girl indignantly. T never dreamed that you would take, such a base advantage !” “ But—Virginia,” he pleaded, ‘won’t you forgive me? I admit that l acted like a fool - but—forgive, me—” ) “ You had no right to kiss me!” she I stormedj “ 1 know,” he admitted humbly. ' “but I simply couldn’t resist- you | know how much T care*—how much I ! lore you ” ! 1 • Love!** she scoffed. ‘' hy, T only i met you this morning—how could you j car© so soon? It's -it’s—insufferable j —you have humiliated me so that 7 m 1 a-ashamed ! How dared you ! I want . you to go at once!” He bowed his head sadly. “ Remember.” he murmured, tf ' that ‘ if T go now, I’ll leave here and go back to Waipukurau—you'll never see me again ” “ Go!” she cried. “Go right away— I don’t care!” “ Well ” he hesitated awkward--1 v “ _ if you're sure you want me to go, then you’ll—you’ll have to get off m3’ knees !*’ An esteemed old lady friend cannot for the life of her think whatever an ultimatum con he! They tell her two or three nations arc going to war about it. Tt must be something most extortionate. One great man left it behind him and another great man would not take it—what on earth can it be? It is the custom of a certain suburban church to place a notice on the door giving the names of the preachers for the following Sunday. Last Sunday’s announcement, given out by the curate, was received with consternation by a portion of the congregation : “The preacher for next Sunday will he found hanging behind the church door.” The bachelor ventured the remark to his married friend. " A man mast have a lot of trouble keeping his wife properlv gowned these days!” Said the married one r “ Not nearly as much as he’d have if ho didn’t.** “ What happened to me?” asked the chronic optimist when he woke up in the hospital. “ A shark bit A*oiir leg off.” said the nurse. “Oh. well,” he mused. * 1 had rheumatism in that leg anvhow.” - si v ’R in