SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16701, 5 April 1922, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

There was an old cockie of Kyle. "Who did all liis farming in style; He fattened one pig Till it was so big That he* sold it at so much a mile. It is understood that there is a likelihood of Sir George- Fuller reducing the number of portfolios from thirteen to eight, with tho object of practising economy.—Sydney cable. Times are very hard. George, Cost of Living’s high ; Shadows of retrenchment 1 Steal across the sky. Government finances Still no profit show— Mind you take tho hint, (ieorgo—.Ministers must go! “ Taxes are too high, George.” Hear the people say : “ Such an awful burden. We can never pay. j Farmers in this country All are poor, yon know ; Hearken to our call. George— Ministers must go!” Workers, too. complain. George, j How the prices soar ; Bread and cheese and movies Cost them more and more. So the State must shortly Bring the taxes low ; There is hut one way, George— Alinisters Tnust go. Thriftless are the folk. George. Recklessness is rife : You cry ,s Save!” They answer ‘‘Never in your life!” I Easy collie’s their motto. Likewise easy go ; George will start the saving— Ministers must go ! ) Tdo not like the weather that is the rule of late ; you never can tell whether the rainfall will abate. You wake up ( very early, and rain is coming down, and storm clouds black and curly are floating o’er the town- You creep bej neath the cover and dream again till ! nine, and now the rain is over; behold. : the day is fine. You set out for tho j city in summer clothes arrayed, for it I would be a. pity to dress in garments j staid. And later at twelve thirty, when : you to dinner rush, tho sky again is | dirty, and streets are full of slush, j Your precious summer clothing is very ! soon afloat : you view yourself with i loathing, foi* vou have not a coat. The | tempest plays around you. and you your | collar hold, until the rain has drowned I you, and then you catch a cold.

this atrocious fate, and set out in the morning wrapped up in garments great. You carry on umbrella. and stifle in your coat : with heat your face turns yellow, you feel an awful goat. For weather bright is ruling, and azure is the sky; and after all this fooling, you take your coat home dry. Oh. weather is erratic, and you should trust it not : I say with voice emphatic. it’s getting prettv hot. Little deeds of darkness. Bullet, stab and blow. Make a peaceful country Like the place below. An American physician having invented cowl ess-milk, we are now awaiting the discovery of a wireless clothesline and a noiseless soup spoon. ! Marie is in the mountains, The precious little -dove. And she is (so .Tane writes me) Over her head—in—love. And Myrtle’s in the country ! (A tall, romantic lass). Outdoors she’s idly rambling Over her knees—in—grass. And Daisy’s down at Brighton. She’s getting awfully tanned. Upon the beach she’s lounging Over her limbs—in—sand. And father’s in the city. He's hustling hard, you bet, Poor man ! they say that he is Over his ears —in—debt. <{ Put and take '’ is so popular in hotel bars that it is interfering with business. “ Have another ’’ no longer means a drink, but a spin. The barber (eloquently, and razor aloft): Why, sir. the barber shop—is —is ” Victim : Ts the land of the fee and the heme of the shave. Purchaser: Where do you get your yarns? Textile Salesman (modestly): Oh. I make them up myself. £l I have been reading lately,” observed Mr L. O X. Q. Shandy. “in the science of eugenics. A fascinating subject. Bill. Men who refuse to accept the responsibility of marriage are badly slated ” “ 1 onors ’em,” said Bill. “ Woman an’ beer don’t go together.” “ You think, sot. that it is the beer that goes and the woman that re- “ Wot yer mean?” asked Bill, “ A beautiful woman is as intoxicating as wine.” declared Mr Shandv gallantly. ££ T agrees with yer T been toxica ted both ways meself. But after the wine you ’ave no trouble An’ after the oilier kinder intoxication you ’ave the woman.” “ Do you mean to tell me that you were ever in love?” asked Mr Shandy disgustedlv. ££ T was wunst,” said Bill sadly. “ 1 muster been. T was lyin’ in the Park one night, feelin’ exorsted with the ’eat, when 1 sees a woman walkin' by. I was like the blokes in the books. T seemed to ’ave known ’er before. Lovely, she was. an’ at the sight of ’or. T felt drunk like all of a sudden.” “ Intoxicated with love?” said Mr Shandy incredulously. ££ l was true to me old love,*’ said Bill. “I ain’t like you. After a wile, T remembered she was a barmaid up at the corner, out with *er bloke in the cool.” ‘‘Bah!” said Mr Shandy. “Your love is but an association of ideas, not of souls. You would he more infatuated with a. barrel, than with the loveliest of barmaids.” “ Far more.” sighed Bill. “ But if yer can’t manage a barrel, just a glassful ’ll do.” ANNOUNCING THE FILMS. “ The Dictionary.” Will hold you spellbound! " Needles and Pins.” With many good points ! * 4 Suicide.*’ Mill make you forget your troubles ! “My Lady's Mirror.” Worth looking into ! “ The Opium Pipe.” Will set you dreaming! “ Come Seven! Gome "Eleven?” A \ rattling success ’ “The Strangler.” A gripping sensation 1 ■ The Pickpocket.” "Watch out for this one ! “The Scalp Message.’* A hnfrraising fe atu re ! ct The Pardoned Convict.” .Tust released ? •• What is tlie national of t-lie flu.‘Mnn Bolshevists? ” 44 ‘ I’m forever blowing rouble*!’” sirxß Ai>.