SPINDRIFT.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16694, 28 March 1922, Page 6

SPINDRIFT.

“Power in Pnpnrua -•-Newspaper heading. I suppo.se it's all right; but it seems rough on Mr Power. Mr Henry Ford has adopted the forty-hour week in all his factories.— Cable. In place, no doubt, of the fortv-Ford week. An Irish publican, having suddenly become n regular Church attendant, was given the privilege of reading the Lesson. Jt was most unfortunate, however, that he should have announced what he was to read as the “ Thirst vfirst chapter of Guinness’s.” Can anybody tell me what to do with a, Bulgarian bug? Homo misguided person sent me one as a. birthday present. That was three weeks ago. and since then oil my spare time has been spent in looking after that beastly bug. I get no rest, and really I am afraid my nerves will collapse under the strain. The trouble began the very first! night. 1 put out a saucer of milk j ior it, and called Buggy, buggy. I bug, in a most persuasive fashion, but j tlio spiteful creature merely sat up on • its hind legs and hissed at me. After half an hour I managed to get it to taste the milk, but after one sip it scratched my hand and hissed some more. Thinking that perhaps the milk was not quite suitable. I sterilised it—-no good. Then 1 humanised it. but still to no purpose. Finally [ mercerised it, and this had the desired effect. So much for the food problem : but when bedtime came more troubles ; awaited me. The hug simply would not sleep in the box I had prepared for it. Nor would it stay outside in the dog kennel. It cried like a child as soon as I left it. and finally T was compelled to take it in my arras and sing it to sleep. Since then that bug has been the terror of my life. It brings its fleas into the house, and buries its bones in the garden. It chases the fowls and bites the baby. Ancl I cannot get ■ rid of it. either; T tried to drown it, but in vain : T tried to poison its milk witli whisky, but it flourished more than over. What can one do with a bug? I dreamt sweet dreams of noble themes at half-past six to-day; for all the night in slumber light had gently slipped away. 1 dreamt of trees and swelling seas, of swiftly flowing streams ; I never had such fancies glad as came to me in dreams. Of days of old when knights were bold I dreamt ere morning broke; then with a yawn at early dawn I suddenly awoke. The morn was chill—too early still. I argued, to arise; so tolling o er. 1 tried once more to close my sleepy eyes. Then found I woes, for sweet repose was left to mo no more; I tor© my hair, for through the air there rushed a motor's roar. For milkmen all now made their call, and shouted Milk, yo ho!” and for ray sins they rattled tins, and let their language flow. Their engines then began again to pierce my ear-drums through; and in my bed I curses said, ! and hard words not a few. Some day ; I know ray mind will go, and then } I’m going to slay the noisy man with j rattling can who steals my sleep awav. j **- The speedometer said sixty miles per ; hour. ; The constable said it was ninety. The natives said it was a crime. f Fie said it was the life. His friends said it With flowers. Professor Hawkins, the well-known entomologist, presents the case forth© protection of love birds in his most recent scientific work. ‘‘ln the past,” he says, ‘ there has been an open season, during which love birds could be shot at sight, from January 1 to December 31 each year. I have often seen these love birds, who are invariably to be found in couples, attempting to hide themselves from the public in our parks, or at the beaches, or on the hills. They are shy and coy birds, whose "only happiness seems to be together and out of sight. The depletion of these flocks would lead to almost total extinction. As a lover of nature, 1 would deplore such a fate. They are conspicuous for their brig Tit plumage and their affectionate ways. My daughter Annette lias made an intimate investigation into the habits of love birds, and has developed h great fondness for young male love birds. Indeed, she often catches a male bird of this species, and, in order to study it, cages 1 it in the drawingroom for long periods. And so enthusiastic is she that she frequently emerges from the cage with a blush on her face. She is sure that the male love bird is harmless. The onlv destruction that it causes is a slight- creasing of her blouse and some disarrangement of her in a r cell e wave.” A dean was recently called to the bedside of a gentleman who had for some time made a comfortable living by running a select gambling bell for rich young gentlemen. The dying man glanced back upon his somewhat chequered life, and tried to make the best of it. ‘' I have occasionally been to Church . . . have given a blind man alms ... I have never refused the poor . . “ Ah!;’ said the Dean smoothly, and the rich you ha\e sent empty away !” livery one should weep once a week. Tears have natural cleansing properties, and impart a healthy brilliance to the eye.—Daily Sketch.” Laugh and the world laughs with you, Weep and you weep alone; But recollect what a sweet effect It has mi your looks, my own! Fot it cleanses the eyes, and doubles the size Of those pupils, velvet-black; So smile on me, dear, when I hover near. But howl when I turn ray hack! Go to the pictures, darling. And sit with streaming eyes And heart a throb (and for any sake sob !) As the hero’s great aunt dies! M hen Charlie takes part, with his usual art, In a rousing cc slap-stick ” scene. Laugh, I implore, till you cry once In the name of Hygiene! I see you have wept, beloved ’ For vonr eyes are a deep sea. blue! There’s a baby tear on your eyelash, dear. Take a drop of the purest dew ! And it pleases me. when I call, to see So timid a mien and meek : For it suits your type, but I wish vou’d wipe That te eyeblack ” from your cheek ! Pig Clubs are now being formed 'n Kngland. Their object is to enable members to grow their own bacon, and not. as might have been thought, to f ictv. STXBA I>.