CANNED MUSIC

Star (Christchurch), Issue 16331, 21 January 1921, Page 6

CANNED MUSIC

(By WALT MASON".) When 1 ant tired and seedy, ar.d feeling all my years, and beaten down by greedy and beastly profiteers, to ease the fret and fever J wind the phonograph, and soon forget the cleaver, the harpoon and the gaff. Oh, you may stand and mention a hundred precious boons, but here’s the great invention, this mill that plays me tunes! I hear the world’s great singers, in song that flows and swells, and they are surely dingers, and they are wearing bells. I hear Caruso thunder, he makes my soul rejoice; and .fournet tears asunder the welkin with his voice; and Sembrich sings divinely the air she’s deigned to pick, and Galli-Curci finely makes nightingales look sick. And there aro humbler singers who chant the dear old hymns, and they are ever bringers of briny to my glims; and there’s a band a-crashing tho bars of “ William Tell,” with energy so slashing that I rear up and yell. If some one stole my auto I might in grief repair to seme sequestered grotto, and do some weeping there. And sorrow would be reigning upon my darkened brow, and I’d be heard complaining, if someone swiped ray cow. But I would cease to chortle, and ne’er again I’d laugh, if some blamed soulless mortal should life my blamed soulless mortal should iift my phonograph.