MAKING MARRIAGE HAPPY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 19813, 3 December 1919, Page 9

MAKING MARRIAGE HAPPY.

The rush to the Divorce Court is attracting serious attention in the Homo Country, and a good deal lias appeared in the London papers on this and cognate subjects. Lady Muir-Mac-keuzie, writing in the ‘'Despatch.” says:—No one can fail to bo struck nowadays by the great number.of unhappy marriages, the. results, of which aro continually before ns. The moralist may have much to say on this sullied,, but flic artist and the lover of beauty will loci the greater regret. A happily married couple is the centra of a happy group of people. They might he, sain to ho gardeners entrusted with a plot of ground, which is beautified by the smiles of friends and the love of children. 'Alien n. marriage is dissolved there is one beautiful garden less in tho world. Every couple sets out with hope in their hearts and the full intention of making their marriage a success. If tiieir high hopes fail, it is cold comfort to tell them they are, selfish or immoral, or to suggest that, like the Spartan hoy. they must hide their trouble, rattier than disturb a complacent and hypocritical world with uvo knowledge ol their unhappiness. ■ It a tiicr let complacency and hypocrisy he shattered, and let cold ‘tacts obtrude themselves, so that ths wise brains of the world mav he driven into doing some hard thinking. Then, perhaps. a solution may oe tonner to this deeply important problem. lesson from the dutch. this will not he helped by giving so much publicity to divorce cases. It would be better to ropy the wisdom of the Dutch m this respect. In Holland an unhappily mated couple go to a fatherly judge and ask him to dissolve the marriage. He answers, “Come bach ui six months, my children, and tell me again tho same story.” When the judge is finally satisfied that a divorce is inevitable, lie grants it., and the fact is not even referred to in the Press. In England wo are. too fond of overemphasising all questions relating to sex Me need a better sense of proportion in these iA? e \ sr .' 7 b».v a ud girl is a. potential husband or wife, why not let them have the knowledge that tho painful years have taught others, aud thus help them to make a success of their marriage when the time comes. Point out that though marria-pw is an enchanting relationship, it is vet quite, quite human, and that jf the enchantment is to linger, they must learn tho (i art of making someone else happy a craft that needs as much skill as being a successful engineer—or a Royal Academician! WHAT the elders know. Onr young idealists seem to think an unseen orchestra will always bo playing a wedding march, and that. ou £3OO a your iu will be possible to drink nectar from golden chalices. Jhey also suggest that in marrving they hare done something so unique aud miraculous that the sun, moon and stars will feel honoured bv beine asked to time, with them. All these ideas are gleaned from exotic poems and movin'’ operas, and the older people, who nave learnt to he content with the knowledge that “.Hits absence of pain v» pleasure,” enter into a conspiracy of silence, and even encourage exaweraied hopes. I think some of ns are already aware of a significant though, at present formless movement around us. Some new phase of life and conduct seems to he on the verge of manifesting usolf May it not ho that out of this w 0 shall obtain reconstruction and readjustment even in the sphere of marriage? Let us endeavour to direct the new force with wisdom, for me shall not.he able to suppress it with silence and ignorance.