SMILE SEED.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 12083, 11 August 1917, Page 5

SMILE SEED.

1 "So you don't like the country? What do you miss most since moving to tho suburbs?" "Trains!'' Silßous! "So'you Ihiak their friend-. n«:-» n'ill end in marriage, oh? Qymcus: "Yes, I guess that will be tno end of it." Edith: "Haven't you and Jack been Sf d .'X^r e Ue Hc£raVe d o ny left." A . . , Friend- "How is the patient, doctor " Doctor: " pjg «!° fighting chance to ll ™: ifi F» * * hope then; he s a pacibst. j^';^o"% r ono: h " w IS anybody. Vou may want to soil him someday.' "Tho doctor said he'd have mo on ray feet in two weeks.' * Well, did ho?" "He sure did I I had to sell uij car to pay his bill." Billjim: "An* what would you do if I kissed you?" Annette: ' I would call graivmere. Poorgran mere: kbc. 'as been ciuite deaf since ssc last- bow-bsu-dment,"

Howard: "Do you believe in signs?" Coward: "'Well, I don't know! The firo alarm went off thrco times while the minister was preaching Wildway's funeral sermon." "Hero's a substance which breaks, down when exposed to remarked the chemist. "That must be the stuff reputations are made of," observed tho politician. Ho: "Tho artists whose paintings show that angels are all women certainly didn't know women." She: "That is perhaps true. It may be that they only knew men." "My dear lady, I go further than believing in woman suffrage; I maintain that man and woman are equal in every way." "Oh, professor! Now you're bragging." Mahoole :" Nixt toiine Oi pass wid a loidy, SJulligan, ye've got to remove yer hat." Mulligan: "An' suppose Oi refuse?" Mahoole: "Thin, bedad, ye'vo got to Aimovo your coat." " Are yo".i of the opinion, Jainos," asked a -slim-looking young man of his companion, "that Smith's medicine does any good?" " Not unless you follow tho directions." "What arc thsj directions?" "Keep the bottle tightly corked.''

"You have sworn to toll nothing but tho truth." " Nothing but the tnr.ii. your honor?" " Precisely."Then, judge, with that limitation upon me, 1 might as well warn you that I'm not going to have much to say." ""John," whispered his wife, "I'm thoroughly convinced that thero is a burglar downstairs." "Well, my dear,'' replied her husband, sleepily. "I hope you don't expect me to have tho courage of your convictions." "I used to worry about what I put into a sermon," said the minister. "Yes?" "But when I found that what people discussed was mainly the length of it, I put about fifteen minutes into it and let it go at that." Mr Cash: "'You must understand, sir, that my daughter has always been accustomed to any luxury that' money can buy." fount von Barnsky: " Cortainment, Meestor Cash, zat ees vat 1 am!" First Art is: ; *' 1 ref. m-d a n'Mgiiificont tribute to my skill tiic other day at the exhibition." Second Artist: "Indeed* what was it?" First Artist: "You know the picture, 'A Storm at Sea'? Well, a man and his wife were looking at it. and I overheard the fellow say, ' Come away, my dear; that picture, makes me. sick.'''