TOPICS OF THE DAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 11594, 12 January 1916, Page 4

TOPICS OF THE DAY.

RECIPE FOR " KAISEK BILL" ~* (A mysterious voice came over our private wire tho other night from the telephone booths of the Associated Shades on thp River Styx, begging us to record the latest popular song from the opera of " Impatience " now enjoying a phenomenal run at tho Apollyon Opera House, Hades. Without, prejudice to our ou'n strict neutrality between tho Turks and tho Bulgars we have yielded to our unknown correspondent's request, offering at the same time if in so doing we have our sincere apologies to the late "ft. b. Gilbert, of London.) If you want a recipe for that '• popular" mystery Known to the world as the Lmpcror Take all the remarkable high-lights of history, Out of their qualities fashion a pillDash of the Ajax defying tho lightning; . ~ ~ ~ Touch of King Solomon full ot old saws; -,,.,, Bit of Goliath the countryside frightening: ..,. * . Something of Samson a-wielding ins ■jaws; Glib Ananias and Mrs Sapphira; Turpin, and Sheppard, and grim Captain Kidd; Narcissus of Self a most ardent admirer : Pinch of Pandora, a-lifting tho lid. Something of Attila, Vulcan and Gog put in; Jupiter groping around in a fog put in; Caesar, and Nero. Quixote, and Hannibal; Sandwich of Luther inside of a balTake of those elements nil that is insible. Send 'em to Krupp to be put in a crucible, Soak : em in paraffin, petrol and gum, And out of the mixture the Kaiser will come. —John Kendrick Bangs.