SHORT WAR STORIES.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 11512, 7 October 1915, Page 4

SHORT WAR STORIES.

WHERE IT PINCHES. "I see," said the talkative member of the club, " that the Saltan says liis capital is quite safe." " That's so/' snorted tho American guest; "but its a lot more than his creditors can say about theirs." THE FLAG OF TRIUMPH. Many divisions of tho new armies are now busily engaged in tiring their musketry course oil the ranges. The other day a private, who did not understand that the waving of a flag before tho tayget indicates "No score,' was asked how lie had done. "I know I shot jolly well," replied the soldier, " because onr sergeant was behind the butts, and every time I fired he kept encouraging me like mad with his red and white handkerchief!" MRSOKTMISS? A peer's daughter, celebrated ior her unpretentiousness, had an amusing experience the other day. Her particular hit of war work made it necessary that slio .should interview the town clerk in an out-of-the-way country place. He began to fill up a form, and demanded her Christian name. '"Hose," she replied. "Surname?" "Smith." "Mrs or Miss?" was the final query. "Ladv. ' was the unexpected response. " Oh, ves," said tho man somewhat irritably. "I know that. Are you Mrs or Miss" "Lady," replied. the puzzled peer's daughter. The man thoroughly lost his temper. "You ain't no lady, or you'd answer a plain question. Are you married or single?" " Single," gasped the poor lady. "Then you are Miss, of course, and why couldn't, you say so at once and save all this bother ?" And Lady Rose left it at that. The troopers of a certain Yeomanry regiment are chuckling over the way in which they scored off a couple of officers wlio.se boorish manners have made them unpopular both with their men and fel-low-subalterns. Hearing that the offi- j cers were expecting friends, and were j contemplating paying a visit to the one , small music hall in the town, the men I booked the two front rows of .stalls. In • the evening, when the two officers and j their friends arrived, they found, seat- I od between them and the footlights, and j blocking un all view of the singe, two rows of the tallest and beefiest Tommies that it was possible to find among the j many regiments stationed in the vidn- ! ibv. And, to add to their mortification, ! next morning they each received l>y post, a cheap periscope, oil the label of which a wag had written, "lor music hall use."