GETTING OVER YOUR SENSITIVENESS.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 11026, 14 March 1914, Page 6

GETTING OVER YOUR SENSITIVENESS.

(By DR ORISON S. MARSDEN.) I know a bright, well trained young lady, whose intimate friends, and even her near relatives, have to he continually on the watfch for fear of wounding her. Sho broods over a joking remark until she magnifies it into an insult. She makes herself miserable for days fancied slight, and exhausts the patience of her friends by asking t«cm to explain what they mean uy certain, expressions, looks or gestures. People who are at first attracted by her many amiable qualities soon fall away from her because of the exactions imposed by her oversensitiveness. OversonsitiVeness is really an exaggerated form of self-consciousness. It is far removed from conceit or selfesteem, yet it causes one's own personality to overshadow everything else. A sensitive person feels that, whatever she says, sho is the centre of conversation. She imagines that people are criticising her movements, making fun at her expense, or analysing her character, when they are probably not thinking of her at all. She does not realise that other people are too busy and too much interested in themselves and in other things to devote to her any of their time beyond what is absolutely necessary. When she thinka they are making remarks about her, putting slights upon her, or trying to hold her up to the ridicule of others, they may not even be conscious of her presence. Tliousandß of young women are held back from undertaking what they Jong to do, and are kept^from trying to make real their life-dreams, because they are afraid to jostle with the world. They shrink from exposing; their sore and sensitive spots, which smart from the slightest touch. Their supersensitiveness makes- cowards of them.

The great ma jority of people,. no matter liow rough in manner or bearing, are kind-hearted, and would much rather help than hinder fellow beings; besides, they have all they can do to attend to their own affairs, and have 110 time to spend in minutely analysing the nature and feelings of those whom they meet in* the course of their daily business. In the busy world of affairs it is give and take, touch and go, and those who expect to get on must rid themselves of all morbid sensitiveness. If they do not they doom themselves to unhappiness and 1 failure. A oollege course is of inestimable valuo to a girl of over-refined sensibilities. Oftentimes when girls enter college they are so touchy that their sense of honour is constantly being hurt and their pride stung by the unconscious thrusts of class-mates and companions. But after they have been in college a term and have been rubbing up against other girls they realise that it would bo the most foolish thing in the world to betray resentment. If one shows that she is hurt, she knows she will be unpopular and will often be laughed at. She is simply forced to drop this foolish weakness. Girls who are morbidly sensitive on entering college often come out at the end of their four years' course with their excessive irritability cured by repeated doses of commonsonse.

There arc many, however, who must go through life without going through college; and if these are troubled with sensitiveness they must bo their otii healers. They must learn that real nobility and courage and effectiveness as a world-worker, as well as personal happiness and success, are impossible to one who is crippled by a supersensitive nature. " What shall I do to get rid of itP" a girl asks. Think less of yourself and more of others. Mingle freely with people. Become interested in things outside of yourself. Do not brood over what is said to you, or analyse eveiy simple remark until you magnify it into something of the greatest importance. Do not have such a low and unjust estimate of people as to think they are bent on nothing but hurting ihs feelings of others and deprecating and making light of them on every possible occasion. A girl who appreciates herself at her true value, and who giws her neighbours credit for being at leas; as good as she is, will not be the victim of oversensitiveness.