SNIPPETS.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 10926, 15 November 1913, Page 1

SNIPPETS.

I>o others as you wouldn't have them do j;ou. * * * * * Don't pluck up your courage. You may need it later. Many things are done in the name of Chanty, and many people, too. * • * ■ * ■ »■ A little rouge covers a multitude of skins. • * * , » * The Flapper's favourite flower: The glad-i-olus. A wait-for-aga event—The expectant heirs. Never judge the cook by her references, lou can't eat them. It is the silent man who can keep his ignorance under cover. A painting is the only thing that is executed beiore it is hung. A woman listens to a man so as to chip in when he stops to take breath. * * ft * * A doctor eay6 that the result of taking drinks is to run to fat. But people wiio lako too many, have a- tendency to lean! The projected Amalgamated Society of Policemen should have no lack of funds. Every town would contribute a few ''coppers." • V * * * The bast way to avoid getting hay fever is to dodge kissiug grass widows. Ex-Presideut I>iaz declined to return to Mexico. Says he prefers to diaz a respectable man should—in his bed in Paris. Prince Ernest of Cumberland, it is cabled, has published "Letters Patent," explaining his quarrel with the Kaiser over tho Brunswick succession. This sort of political medicine is likely to make 'William the Unsilent pull a wry face. Cabled that Wikling has defeated Winnicgen, the Swedish champion, in the Uovored Courts championship. Never mind. Though he find Wilding tough to play, He'll Winniegen some other day. Here's one upon whom tho attractions of tho " Summer Isles of Eden," with their cocoanut oiled Eves have evidently palled:— Young gentleman, South Sea Islands, desires an interesting correspondent, grateful for any news, sense or nonsense. Address Lonely, Kaewieng, German New Guinea. Still another Scottish landlord ha* offered Lloyd George his estate at £2 an acrs. The little land reformer stands a good chance of being killed in the crush of canny Scots anxious to unload their bit of bog and moorland. Tboy were talking of tho chances of I a solicitor, who had just shuffled off his mortal coil, and oue chap reckoned tho population of heaven had increased by one. " I'm not so sure about that," j hazarded a sceptic. " J3ut 1 am sure," ! said the other, "if he couldn't pass Potcr by fair means, ho would throw his hat in, and, having obJiiineJ perinis-

sion to slip inside to fetch, it, -he would contrive to get lost in the crowd." Mr Page, the American Ambassador, in London, speaking at a dinner, said: " English, gentlemen have pleased me by saying that an American might become' tolerable to a.n Englishman if lie could get his pronunciation.knocked off. I make bold to tell you that any fair Englishman could become a tolerable American if he had his insularity sandpapered. "'Aa wes not drunk," declared ,a mim in the dock the other day. "Aa wes only intoxicated." "Ah," wasthe beaming, reply of the Magistrate, " that makes all the difference. I was going to fine you half-a-sovereign; as it is, I shall only fine you ton shillings." This one is told by Father Barnard Yaughau, who recently returned to his homo in England after a long visit to America. A visitor from South Africa, on being asked for his opinion of Niagara Falls, asked his American friend in turn, " "What do you think of Victoria Falls compared with Niagara?" " Victoria Falls, compared with Niagara?—a. mere frontal perspiration!"