THE PARLIAMENTARIANS.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 10924, 13 November 1913, Page 8

THE PARLIAMENTARIANS.

—— (By FRANK MORTON.) Considered as the last finish of education, or of human culture, worth and acquirement, the art of speech is noble, and even divine; it is like the kindling of a Heaven's light to show us what a glorious world exists, and has perfected itself, in a man. But if no world exist in the man; if nothing but continents of ompty vapour, of greedy selfconceits, commonplace hearsays and indistinct loomings of a sordid chaos exist in him, what will be the use of "light" to show us that ? Better a thousand times that such a man do not speak; but keep his empty vapour and sordid chaos to himself, hidden to the utmost from all beholders.— Latter Day Pamphlets. 111. It is all very well; but how shall you have a- Parliament in a small place, if only wise men shall talk? Thus far we have spoken of one and another, and proved, I hope, that Parliament still rises somewhat above the level of an honest observer's contempt. But up till now I have lorgotten—and here is an amazing tiling!—l have forgotten Mr Herdman. That omission is the more surprising because of this Conservative Government Mr Herdman is the most Conservative Minister, the most arrant "Reformer" of them all. There is no pretence whatever about Mr Herdman, so far as his rootprinciples are ooncerned; and the deepest and the toughest of his rootprinciples lies in his profound conviction that all mere working-men and subordinate poor persons should lie kept in their placo, because the world and the fat of the world are for the superior person, and that by divine appointment—what? It is useless to deride Mr Herdman as a mean or a niggardly man, because I am assured that personally he is nothing of the kind ; he is simply a stiff niggard in politics, a stubborn, conscientious objector to these confounded, democratic notions that are in the air. He has no sympathy with revolution and its cry of down with everything that's up; he is for down with everything that's down—and deeper and deeper :lcwn with it! It really shocked and imazed him when police constables attempted to form an association of their jivn—police constables, mere pawns or helots in the department of which Mr Herdman is Tsar! It was not aa a 1-f 1 on +.VlO+. It rs -fliA c+.iv»rr •

politician that he telt the stmg; it iva-s its a superior person, a superior person in the world imperilled, a superior person in a worid gone wrong. Mr Herdman has succeeded in his long iream of being some time Minister of Justice;-but he is still an unfortunate man. for he is misunderstood. Mr Kerdman's qualifications for public iffico are two—he has a manner, and lie has a profile. Taking the joint effect of the profile and tho manner at ;hcir apparent value, people had put Mr Herdman on a sort of pedestal.

Fher© he sat at the beginning of this regime; there he sat, feeling vastly exalted and uncomfortable. When i chap is expected to do something, md he doesn't see what the goodness le can do, there's a don; of a position or .a chap to be in, 'od's bod! For tlr Herdman is at this stage a perectly undistinguished publicist. He s .being found out, and this is his ragedy. The manner has gone badly o pieces on the rock of his ou r n frigidty. The vast superiority of the atitude adopted to all opponents and riere hardworking average persons has ii'coii!! 1 a blistering irritation to the ilain man. Mr Herdnvan's dry snarl, uercly occasional fi year or two Ago, '

has become habitual. _ Like Mr Fisher, ho has a bcto noiro; and_ Mr Herdman's bote noiro is Mr Witford. Over and over again, during this last few weeks, ho has snapped and snaried at Mr Wilford, oven going the length of telling Mr Wilford not to bo impudent. It is vastly nuiuiing, because Mr Wilford —political accidents all apart—is a. much abler man than Mr Hordman and a man enormously morn popular. And there you have Mr Hordtnau's chief fircundary weakness: ho is lacking in the sense of proportion because ho is devoid of the sons© of humour. In speech ho hn-s a cold, dry filionoy, that never rises far above the dead level. Ho bate;) rebuke and is intolerant of correction, oven when he i:; hopelessly in the wrong; and that I take to bo the fault of a weak man. lie is acting an unsuitable part with {.onie conviction, but without cclat. 1 know very little about lawyers, and tho moro I know the loss I want to know; so that you may take it that nr. far as Mr Herd man's legal duties and responsibilities aro concerned I have nothing to say. I am merely discussing him as a figure politically in tho public eye, a prominent mote, a member of the party of reaction that is just now administering the affairs of the country. Ho has no charm or subtlety, and tho fact seems the more lamentable because some of us once had a dim idea or suspicion that subtlety was his strong card. The profile, now wo havo timo to consider it dispassionately, is weakened and marred by a notable falling-oil in the mouth and chin. Mr Hordman is the least successful member of the Ministry—more unsuccessful than Mr Fisher, because Mr Fisher doesn't count. J>9t us say a word about Dr Newman. Alone on tho Government side, he preserves a' certain breezy independence. Now and again he dares essay the thankless office of candid friend. A dapper little man, astonishingly vital. English good, though his diction is a bit too precise to lx> forcible and his manner a little too chirpy to wound. Evidences multiply that, despite his natural conservatism, I Dr Newman is not exactly comfort- ! ablo where he is. He is a modern man of some scientific attainment, and in the last resort the man who thinks scientifically is a Radical in his heart. Among the coming men, if present indications count for -anything, you may reckon Mr Forbes. Ho does not talk much, but is exceptional in this —that when ho doos talk lie generally I has something to say. An incisive speaker of tiie deliberate type, with no studied affectation of oratory, Mr Forbes wins commendation by his care for accuracy a.nd his lack of laborious prejudice. He seems to support his party merely because ho in it, and his beliefs are essentially sincere. Sturdy in mind as in build, he is occasionally a trifle too dogmatic over trifles, bringing his heavy artillery to bear on gnats that a puff of contempt might more effectually exterminate. But in this Houso, where absolute sincerity is so rare that it almost savours of affectation, Mr Forbes's faults of style have a saving smack of virtue. If lie hits hard indiscriminately, no man need blame him much, for there are plenty of humbugs to hit at, and in the thick of a mob a bludgeon is a more effective weapon than a rapier. His gifts are democratic, and ho knows what ho wants, which is a great thing for any man to know in this world of shifts and shadows. Quite another sort of man is Mr Craigie. He is a Scot, perhaps our most characteristic _ Soot: uncompromising, blunt, a triflo dour. As_ an urbane man, I find it hard at times to do the true Scot ample justice, and it may be that to tho rugged force of Mr Craigie I am at times st bit indifferent. But the force is there. It is possible to_ dodgo Mr Craigie, for ho is not 5 especially alert; but when the dodge fails the impact is apt to shatter. Sitting over there, smiling as Mr Massey roars through one of his queer pink rages, is a member with a reputation inadequate to his parts—Mr Poland. His dry humour is sometimes quite delightful, and he has the raregift of saying exactly what ho means exactly as he wants to say it. Nothing pernickety about Mr Poland: his blocd is overcharged • with red corpuscles. As usual, the unconscious humorist That, of course, is Mr Glover, of Auckland. One speaks of him as Mr Glover, of Auckland, as one speaks of Lord Roberts of Kandahar or Mr Barnes of New York. It is not merely that he is returned by an Auckland constituency, which he holds (as all the knowing ones declai-e) in the hollow of his hand.: Auckland is his obsession and insistent .daylight nightmare. He lias come to believe that he owns it and is responsible for it. If anything unpleasant happened to Auckland he would mourn like Rachel weeping for her children. When Sir Glover speaks he always seems to skim some grey tide of tears. They get into his voice, and play havoc with his articulation. He is more than pathetic: ho is moist. But he is rather the pet of the House than its butt, because his underlying personal qualities are essentially estimable. He has a great heart, even when his tongue trips. A humorist still more unconscious, and infinitely drearier, is Mi' Nosworthy. He is unspeakably sad, and saddest of all in those mad moments when he is determined to be merry. Mr Isitfc named him the Mortuary Curate, and the tag has clung like a fly-bli6ter. I give you my word that a curate like Mr Nosworthy would make you sorry for the corpse. His speeches are the most melancholy I ever heard. If he said, "I shall now lie down and die in a most heart-rending and sickening manner," I should wave my handkerchief and expect to see him

ao it;, now any man can do as sau as Mr Nosworthy, and still keep on having a try. to get through with this poor business of being alive, I can't conjecture. If I were as sad as Mr Nosworthy seems to be, I should cut my throat, take a drink of prussic acid, and explode myself utterly with dynamite. Mr Nosworthy is a Reformer. That may explain it. But there are cheery folk on that Bide of the House. Sir Scott is companionable and glad, though he comes from Otago Central; Dr Newman is merry as a linnet and irrepressible as a cock canary; Mr Wilson, of Taumarunui (who has no other quality) preserves a gladsome mind; Mr Coates is jovial as an American tourist on the Glorious Fourth. As a set-off to all this shocking levity, Mr Lee, of Oamaru, is determined to be unhappy; Mr Rhodes of the Thames swings from deep to deep like a chained spirit in a gulf of woe unfathomable; Mr Anderson of Mataura is serious as an aged hen stuck in warm asphalt; Mr Hine—oh, la, la! when I look, at Mr Hine I feel as if I am sitting in an Arctic blizzard alone with bad toothache. On the other side, cheerfulness reigns supreme. Mr Vigor Brown, one of Mr Isitt's warmest brewer-friends, doesn't seem to know what care is; Air Isitt, himself, is a positive slave of good humour; Dr Te Rangihiroa has always a jest on his tongue: Mr Seddou is constantly smiling; Mr Colvin doesn't mcpe; and even Mr Witty—sore harassed by that intolerable namo—wins through. Mr Davey is the mo-st dignified man in the House; but he has a kind eye, a quick tenderness of sympathy, and is considerate of everybody ; an able speaker, too, quiet, cool, ecrupnlous. Sir James Carroll is not really with us again yet; but when you iiear bursts of laughter from the lobby, iv somebody commences to sing in Bellamy's, you know that Sir James is 3uce more within the nrecincts. As 'or Mr Russell —well, the other day Mr Russell bearded the reporters in their special den, bade tho &teward_ set 'em lp, told fourteen merry-monkish aneciotes, and started its all making com>limentary speeches at one another, rhe reporters are as ever a joyous :>and, a constant source of strength md stimulus to one amongst so many. Mr Lang, gentle soul, is the weakest speaker I have ever known, and -Mr VLalcolm tho least satisfactory Chairnan of Committees. There is really .'.otbi'ig elso to say about thai*-.