THE WEEK.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 10683, 1 February 1913, Page 6

THE WEEK.

There has been a fine flare-up over the Torch, anyhow.

Don't know why William is so anxious to help the canning industry. Codding is more in his line.

It is stated that the Aucklanders have a Hayes-eo idea of tho way they lost the Plunket Shield.

There are seven days in each week. On ouo day there is a street collection, and on the other six there ain't.

And why wasn't Mrs Haslntn nskod to eulogise the last Liberal Administration at the Noedham farewell function?

Well, if the Americans aro going to use invisible aeroplanes in warfare, tjio Week is going to be the invisible enemy.

Would tile secretary of the dominion Council of the Farmers' Union kindly explain why the farmers have not yet manned the boards, as promised?

It has been said that in future if anyone approaches tho- Postmaster-General and asks for a slot telephone he will be told to go to li. EU.

An announcement from a Christchurch paper: — HON F. M. B. FISHER ON THE COAST. Quite the proper place for him..

•The Week is going to offer a prize of one year's subscription to the Conservative Party in New Zealand for the best excuse explaining why tlie Prime Minister will not come to Christchurch.

According to the cablegrams 20,000 Moslems and 1000 Christian non-com-batants have been killed during the Balkan war. Must be more dangerous for the spectators than an automobile race.

Citizen No. 1: "I see the firm is bringing round another company of all star ' artists." Citizen No. 2: "Yes. Now, regarding the theory of partial impact and the production of a— —" ■ Citizen No. 1; "Tut, tut, young man."

A Miss Trent, one of the stalwarts of the Women's Political League, last week declared: 1 "Wo women mean to see that our vote has some weight." New Zealand is lagging behind. Miss Trent's sisters in tho Okl Country have already discovered what it is to have a wait for votes.

Tlie Reform League was rather harsh tho other night. Tliey might have left it to the older men to nominate J. D. Hall as a- member of the Can't Come Back Club, amongst the prominent members of which are James J. Jeffries, W. J. Bryan, Rudy.ard Kipling and Alfred Deaken.

Probably by now William wishes that receiving deputations was less Semple. After a quiet discussion with Robert on matters of supreme importance the Reform Prime Minister possibly has realised that there is a dark, deep and damnably awful grave being dug for somebody when the hustings come again.

THE LOST LEADER. (By Robert Blacking). Ve cannot find out the reason ho left us— There was plenty of ribbons to stick in Ills . coat— Or why of his militant spirit bereft u3 And fled all the praises the ladies devote. They who' had loved him so, honoured him, flattered him, Praised the bltie tint Fortune ooloured tin eye; Learned hi's big adjectives; o'er looked his accent; Thrilled at his great name—they didn't know why. Jones, ho was of them; Acland was for them; Hall watched them from his political grave. Ncedham alone packs his bag; up and leaves thorn, And lost is the seat that they meant him to save,

Someone at the Reform League's love-feast tho other' night suggested that it would require either one or two hundred young men like Mr Need ham or a speech from Mr Mussey to wake the people of Canterbury. Well, wc all know how they' wake up when "William speaks here. So does William. That's the reason he stops away. But waking up is one thing, and maniacal frenzy is another. Two hundred young Mr Needhams would cause more than a mere riot. They would provoke something that would take up ,pages of history. So perhaps it is as well that there is only one Mr Needliam, and that ho has gone far, far away. * Notice.—All tramway trip tickets, entitling you to twelve rides, purchased yesterday expired yesterday. The Week is out to congratulate tho 'Tramway Board on the latest addition to its library of travelling literature. By an ingenious; device the Board has been able to add to the amount of printed matter on each ticket, and the success of the departure will lead to its ■further extension. It has been stated that the Board intends in future to issue with each ticket a charming brochure giving tho photograph, autographed, of each member of tho Board, a short history of each member nnrl a lively account of the beauties of Hackthorne Road. It will also contain useful advice: — .Don't stand on the platform when all the seats are taken. Don't expect tho sand-gear to work. Don't annoy the inspectors, Don't walk. Wait fifteen or twenty minutes for a car and then find it full. It is possible to get up a sweepstake, where there is more than one passenger, as to whether you will be able to board the first, second of third car. Don't think you know what the proper charge is. You can't. The Board doesn't know itself two weeks bn