THE WEEK.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 9214, 18 April 1908, Page 4

THE WEEK.

Tte difference between fame &nd jKyforiety is that nUfcoriety lasts much I longer.

""tVere you drunk?" asked the sergeant of the prisoner. "Yee, sir," was the unexpected answer ; " but under great provocation."

" Have you ever been to Russia?" •eked the enterprising reporter of the 'political refugee. "Well," was the i grudging answeor, " I did take a knout- ; ing thsre once."

■ "What is the accused charged with, constable?" asked the Bench. "Attempted suicide, your Worship, i arj rested him for drunkenness snd h© ! wanted to fight."

"What is an unclean spirit?" demanded the teacher of the Sunday School class. And then with more frank promptitude than politeness, the black sheep of the class quickly answered, " A dirty devil."

"The prisoner," said an officer in the Acton Police Court, " is a married man and lives apart from bis father." This objectionable practice appears to be becoming quite common among married men.

The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals recently prosecuted a man for giving a dog a pint of whisky. Any man who gives a dog a pint of whisky ought to bo severely punished for cruelty to his fellow-men.

The thermometer was at 130 degrees in the shade, and his officer asked him : ' ' Well, Pat, what do you tnink of Aden?" "Think of Aden?" was the response. " I think Adam must have b°en moighty glad to be driven out of it." *■■■

A golfing journalist tells of a player whoso conscience " congenitally sensitive, and rendered more so by some years' practice at the Bar, makes him extraordinarily careful not to improve his lie." A good Ho, as the angler, unlike the golfer, has still to learn, 'needs no elaboration.

The manager of on© of the local banks lafit week applied to the Union

Company for " two births " on the Island steamer. The mistake was due to a typewriter that could not spell, but the Union Company, which is nothing if not respectable, at once emphatically declined the application.

The abbreviated advertisement is a horror and a problem all in one. Thus the "Daily Telegraph ":—" Royal Hotel. — Fac. har. New man. Inc. from 8s 6d p.d." And later "Week end encts. dncs. etc." The poss. of this moth, of advert, are distress, in the ext. Imag. how a newsp. col. wd. app. if writt. in this man. " The Week " trembs. at the prosp.