LADIES' COLUMN.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 8112, 10 September 1904, Page 3

LADIES' COLUMN.

» THE MEN ALL WOMEN LIKE. 2 Approbation is the B* stilt of Ohivalry. iniuttrated Mirror.) Somebody once drew a comparison between a man's memory in love matters and A woman's. He showed that a woman's was. beyond doubt tie longest, because, though a man sometimes forgot tin© very name of an early sweetheart, and even feels a little vague about a girl-~hc has supposed himself to be in love with in much, later life, a woman never lost from ■ her tender memory one possiDle detail about j; every lover she had had L even when they V were in round jackets. , This is undoubtedly true. The man a ; . woman once loves has taken a- place in her ; heart too firm and fixed for him ever to be and, even when she hss not re- ,: turned his love, the fact that he has loved her establishes a claim upon her gratitude 'that can never afterwards bo wiped out. V; But it is not only the man who loves her, and whom she loves, that a woman k nev^r forgets. There is a special type of v man who secures a place in her memory quite apart from that bestowed upon him 'by her involuntary affection. H The girl to whom a man has been kind when first .the came out in society never forgets Shim. To many shy girls,- brought up strictly in the- nursery and the schoolroom, that same coming out is a more terrible ordeal than many people would 'believe. It seems to her that she is plungjng headlong into a new world, with whose , customs and ways she is totally unacquainted, and she is desperately afraid of doing or saying something that may betray to the world" at large how entirely ■lie feels herself at sea. If; in this lonely, helpless sort of social - wilderness, the man who takes her into foer first dinner, or dafcees^with her at her first ball,: dhows her jHpf;- ; c6nsid«ration or appreciation of her tSymg 1 position, she is ready to regard 'him g& at hero among his sex, and to give him » shrine for ever in her memory. If a girl 'hears of a man defending her when other women run "her down — she will never forget that man. In truth the man who does mot defend: an absent woman, whether she is known to him or not, is a poor specimen of his race, even though she Is only assailed by other women's sneers. It is almost a point of manhood to do or $$y somecmng to show he does not side with what is said; but the woman, when she hears it, does not take that fact into consideration, she only sees in him her champion ; and the woman who can ever forget the man who championed her would be unworthy of the name that was her only claim upon him. Then, again, » woman never forgets the man who has done h«r lover or husband a. good turn. Perhaps the surest way to her friendship is through those she loves. 6he ma> treat th© man who loves her with a light, amused disdain ; she may play with. the man she loves, just to gratify her love . of teasing, or to feel the extent of her power to make him happy or miserable ; but be kind to the man she loves best in. the world, and you have established a claim upon !her that can never be forgotten— if you are of his own sex, that is to say. '■-.- She takes far less kindly to favours done X to him by women. : But, even if you are a man, you must .not pose as a rival in her husband's love. Women have been known to be foolish enough even to be jealous of their !hustajoda' bachelor friends just because they look upon them as wanting to claim too much of their time and attention.