STRANGE STORIES OF MANY PEOPLES.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 7687, 23 April 1903, Page 4

STRANGE STORIES OF MANY PEOPLES.

No 3H. Chinese marriage customs: (By "KA JIT BIN.") [All ftiGirrs Reserved.]

* " Mas I What ci pity !" " How unlucky !" '• Get rid of the thing!" "Agiil!!" With ' titoee and similar ejaculations the neigh- j boura, who have fiockedi in to, hear tie news,, shake tiheir heads and noisily depart, leaving the unhappy and disappointed! father to nurse> his wrath, or vent it on the * Bkiserablo mother of the xmwelooine offspring. Save one, 'tha proud latibjer of a •on of three summers and 'his infant) toother, who sees in 'his fiiead'arTnisfortun© " a kind providence to himself, in the shape of a possible daughter-in-iasw. He is in ntf ■ 3«irry to be gone, so takes another whiff of the fraternal pipe, which has already cii'cu- ' latedl freely among .the departing callers.. There is a pausa of' silent sympathy, aodi ♦italic on a. dozen ot'lier topics, before, with ,oonsiderable> caution, the subject is broach- , cd. According to Chinese etiquette, thei • iwy's paffents inusb take the initiative in this matter, which, however, cannot be settled without consulting the laoroscopist, who must be furnished with full particulars as to the time antd cii'cumsfeuices con- 1 neoted with. the. birth of the boy and girl. Jirom the day of ibex birth till she is aboun sixteen years of age, a. Chinese girl is an. eligible bride, bu>t rather lees than 10 per . cant are betrothed in infancy. Sometimes,, t particularly among the poorer classes, she ia brought up by her motlher-in-law, but more often the betrothed couple do not se<a rah other's faces until -the wedding day. xihina is essentialiy ai land of " bdftihs, amd mamages." Before these threel important events everything else sinks into , A war, a coronation, ai couip> d'otat, a'Boxer rismg-^n these, <fhe average 'Chinaman takes little interest, -but th© birth «f a son I who can estimate th« import-* ~ of such an event? The occasion, and its ajmfvCTsaxies, will be celebrated with great joy by tie whole household. Of more immedUate importance to the individual liiTnself ; however, is his wedding day, on Hhich he attains i\\% majority. Henceforth be is entitled, within certain limits, to manage his* own affairs. Yet not fox ome tfboment, during tha lMetime of his pare<nts, it be released from tho obligation of absolute sabmission to their will. Whether the OMnmand of tflie parent be reasonable on mreasona/ble, it must be implicitly obeyed. A mother, in a flfc of passion, commanded) liar son of forty years o£ age, to lie down go. the fioor aad receive a beating at her

• hands— and he did it I 'U& ihe world may see tihe spectacle of ')'■ ?|ift Empe>r>or Kwang Hsu, setting to his- ; aibjecte an example of the highest virtue > C&ina knows, filial piety, as he sits quiescent on the'tlhrone, in obedience to the " will of Ma step-mother, who, on account of ; £»& melaltaonsihip to the Emperor's late '• father, assumes supreme control over her . . i^ejeaon, even carrying her authority so. V to as to practically usurp the throne. } '^tepee the liberty which comes to a son / on his wedding-day is qualified by the idiosyncraoies of hi* parents. .■ THE " GO-BETWEEN."

v The matrimonial arrangements are made % the parents, through the medium of a Y" "^go-between." " This indispensable and (« newsmonger travels from ', house to house, ascertaining the ages of ; r boos and daughters, hearing and coining 'i?:i!ftt&T virtues; pocketing fees, and perhaps specimens of the tiny shoes worn "..•" Vy. the girls, which more or less determine toe' social position of their fathers. The : iugher tihe social position, the smaller will ; ,v fte the girl's feet, or mangled remnants of ' .these extremities. * I - : It may fee well t& note in passing that %. the process of foot binding usually begins ' -when the girl is from four to seven years ■ <rf age. The services of a professional & Binder may be employed who will bring : -with her samples of shoes, for the parents to select the desired size and) shape to which the foot is to be bound. The four toes are - t&ifc underneath ifee great toe, and the trtSiaages tightened every day, until the tips ofHhe toes 'can be seen on the inner marfcifr of the foot. The more painful process ;;, of" shortening the foot then begins, the ob- ""' ject being to bring the great toe, close to ' the heel, so that the remainder of the foot - is pushed out of phwie and' forms a lamp »bove, only the heel and toe going, into the tiny shoe. Public spirit has at length been : Roused tpi fight this ancient and barbarous ' and: anti-footbinding societies are ■ ipjFi'pgjng up in aIL directions. it* Returning from this digression) to the be- ' tfrothal — the question is frequently asked, ;/: ViTpw is it that the Chinese youth never re- "' H|9n,ts the control of his parents in matri- - affairs ?" In order to understand ; 4his, it must be remembered' that one im->;■•',-^artaat characteristic of Chinese politeness v "'"7 is the -strict seclusion of women. The hisfcoiy of China shows that there was a time ; c*:hen women took her place on the battle■V "field or in the mart, side by side with man, ■ With the da'vn; of a moral reformation, ,&me an appreciation of the gentleness of .woman, and a desire to protect her. -The custom of separation of the sexes, pure at ' 'its source, has become corrupted into a se- * '(pension which causes the woman to feel the festraint of her unnatural, confinement, .'.-.' -while the man not only misses her companionship, bub has no possibility of makV :' tag a free choice of his partner in life. ■ It is snot unusual for Chinese parents be./fore contracting ati engagement for their ,*' children, to give -'them; the full particulars ; /-.which they have learned from the "Go- ' jbetween," and allow them to have a voice H^< 4n determining the matter. the S~ other handsome parents will heedlessly , jnake most unsuitable arrangements, (■without consulting their children, or even in the ' face of their | ',- <>pposition, tears and entreaties. Thus an ;', intelligent, refined, .well-educated girl may %?.: 'oe betrothed to a cook, with whom she

\y ■;> fe«g little in common, because he is earning & ''•■ kood wages, or, as is more often the case, &\ X student may be Ibetrothed to an illiterate

girl, who lives for nothing but dress and show. '

RESORTING TO THE HOROSCOPIST. When a preliminary agreement has been arrived at between the two families, they resort to the horoscopist, in whom great confidence is placed. If his verdict- is propitious, the boy's parents announce the engagement by sending a number of wedding cakes and fruits, prepared specially for the occasion, to the girl's home, to be divided equally among her relations. The gold "wedding bracelets" — or, if the family cannot afford gold, silver, .heavily plated with gold— and an even number of dollars, usually twelve, twenty-four, forty-eighb or more — are sent with the cakes ; and last, but not least, a fed document containing full particulars as to the wedding gifts, the date of the betrothal and tho names of the young couple, their parents and the " Go-between." This document is carefully preserved for reference in case of a law-suit or any other emergency. The girl's parents acknowledge the receipt of these presents on red paper, at the same time returning some of the cakes and fruits. After this -there is no withdrawing from the agreement. 'To cancel a Chinese ■betrothal is only possible when a family is in disgrace, and is exceedingly expensive.

The horoscopist must again be consulted] as to the day and hour of the wedding. There may be an interval of a few days only, or of several years, between the betrothal and the wedding day. As soon as the, date of the wedding is fixed, the girl's mother will set to work to prepare the trousseau, which will be sent to the bridegroom's house in red boxes, on the third day after the wedding, the number of boxes varying according to the circumstances of the families. The trousseau will consist of silk and fur dresses, and gold, silver and pearl ornaments for the head, hands and feet. ' The girl's mother also furnishes the bridal chamber, with its richly embroidered bed-hangings, pillows and coverlid- A few days before the wedding the bridegroom's father must again send a number of presents, together with from sixty to a thousand dollars (always an even number) to the bride's father. This custom has given rise to the statement made by Europeans that a Chinaman buys his wife. He indignantly repudiates the suggestion, though he acknowledges that there is in the "present" some recognition of the trouble and expense, to. which the girl's father has been put in bringing her up. The writer has heard, too, of parents who have met the expense of marrying a son by, marrying a daughter, as the " present " ceived by a father who has fed and clothed his daughter for 'sixteen years, will more than cover the cost of her trousseau. DRESSING THE BRIDE. :

At- length the auspicious day has' arrived. "Would you like to com© and see the bride dressed?" was the form of invitation I received to witness this interesting .ceremony. Tbere she sits, on a stool in the middle of the room, perfectly stolid, yet looking fcne picture of misery, while a number of women Imsy themselves over the performance q| her toilet. One, with twisted cotton, plucks all the hair from her face, otheis bring rouge for the lips and cheeks, and white pewder for the face. But the hair-dressing is the crowning sight. It is carefully brushed with a kind- of gum to heighten its glassy appearance, and then row after row of ornaments are arranged in geometrical designs all over, the head. Her owyi new and pretty garments are donned- and immediately eclipsed by the hired conventional wedding garment of orange embroidered in blue with symbolical characters. Lastly comes the all-important and most uncomfortable heavy metal wedding bonnet, decorated with artificial flowers, and destined to be worn for a longer or shorter- period, accordiing to the custom of the. district in which she lives — in the case in question, three days. The toilet is now completed, and not a moment too soo^ for the sound of music announces the approach of the bridegroom in his green cloth bridal chair. He does not enter the house, but his younger brother goes in, and is received by the younger brother of the bride (or a boy of about ten years of age who acts in this capacity).

The elaborately decorated red cloth chair is borne toy four men into the room where the bride stands ready to depart, maintaining the same stolid mien while the goodbyes are said and she is lifted' into the chSir, and carried away t accompanied by the bridegroom, the band of musicians who came with him, the " Go-between " and the two younger brothers. * "\

Louder and louc&r the din -waxes as she approaches her future- home, where the bridegroom's relatives are letting off crackerSj beating drums and clanging cymbals, to inform the general public of the happyevent which is taking place. .

The guest-hall is elaborately decorated with, red silk scrolls, the gifts' of relatives

and friends, red being the predominating colour on all joyful occasions.

Tho first duty of tho bride and bridegTOom on entering the house is to worship the bridegroom's ancestors z his father and mother, uncles and aunts z and heaven and earth. Tho services of a professional won.an must be engaged to instruct the bride hew to perform these arduous duties aright. Hereafter the bride's ancestors will have no further claim upon her ; from this day forth she will worship only her husband's ancestors. Herein lies one of the reasons of a Chinaman's preference for, sons, -who will care for him in his old age t and in Hades.

When the young couple have spent some lours in prostrating themselves before their superiors, the marriage ceremony proper is performed by the "Go-between," who takes from before the ancestral shrine two previously prepared red cups of spirit, tied together by a red string, which she offers to the bride and bridegroom. Together they drink the cup, and receive her marriage blessing, and then retire to the bridal chamber to rest, and take their first meal to- , gether. THE WEDDING PEAST.

The wedding feasrt; or feasts may take place at any time within a month after the wedding, each city having its own custom as to when the feast is spread, and who aro invited to partake of it. No whit© tablecloths cover the square tables, which: ere set for eight guests. The tables are decorated with a plentiful supply of fruits, sweetmeats and nuts — ivory ■ chopsticks, a apoon, a tiny bowl or saucer, and a wineglass for each, guest.

The courses, numbering from twenty to thirty, or cveai more, are brought- in hot. Ab each' table i' 9. one who undertakes to> attend to Vhe oomfor't of the guests. He pours the hot, though scarcely intoxicating, wine- from fche pewter wine decanter into the 'tiny glassies, and .presses the guests to •drink. lie also takes up his chopsticks and invites the. guest's' to partake of the bowl which lias just, bom placed in thei centre of the- table, assisting them to dainty morsels, which he even carries to tJieir mouths with his own chopsticks. By a. delicate and courteous consideration for the peculiarities of foreigners, when tiieae are present, special chopsticks may b& provided with, which iihe foreigner will* be fed. Titoe feast will last for several hours, a.nd should cnere be too many guests to be invited on on© day th© feast will be repeated on successive days, /jihe mos»b honoured guests being invited first. After thia feast comes the " teasing the bride," and a terrible time shei has of it.

The bridegroom's frisnds are invited toi enter the bridal chambeir, where tfo.e> bride stands to lisben to the remarks which are) freely passed on her tnnfeeau, which is inapected'.and critiaised, wjhile not a. muscle of her face must move. Woe betide the bride who betrays tihe slightest' sign of emotion during the trying: ordeal, which is continued for hours, and sometimes for several) days, after the marriage.

Poor little bride! she has undergoneyears of training for this, tihe hardest tria.ll of her life. On 'tihe twelfth day after the wedding the bride amd bridegroom, pay a visit to hep paa-eaits, but must nob stay overnight with them, and at tihe end of the first. month the bride goes alone to her parents' holme, this time 1 staying a-s loag as her mother-in-law allows her to do so.

The prolonged festivities airo now at an end, but the process of adapting herself to her surroundings, 1 on -which, the bride's happiness in life- depends, continues.