OLD CHRONOS ONCE MORE TURNS HIS GLASS.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 7293, 4 January 1902, Page 4

OLD CHRONOS ONCE MORE TURNS HIS GLASS.

Another hist'ry-making year Its fleeting course has run, The sands of time have felt the mark Of good old nineteen-one. With feelings deep wa knew our Que&n Her glorious course had run, And mourned our loss with eomow keen Ea.riy in ninetee.n-one; To cheer us up King Edward sent . * His Heir and only son' To give our loyal feelings vent • And gladden nineteen-one. ' ' The war that we deemed over quite Has only just begun; . ' . De Wet continues our men to smite Quite late in nineteen-one. Til' Discovery sails off to dare Antarctic storm And sun, ' * And «te we see lier flag, long years May pass from nineteen-one. The Eighth Contingent forma to do What all tie rest have done, To prove to King and Empire true. Hurrah for nineteen-one! What >will -another twelvemonth bring, What must we then go through? Well— 'twill be easier to say At this time-^nineteen-two. We can resolve^ to do our 'best ' In all we (have to do, ' . And unto Heaven to leave the rest, . And so face nineteen-two. A ■heal'tlh. unto the dead old year!; A health unto the new ! A laugh is better than a tear, So — now.-tfor Nin*teen-Two. ■- *r- — : — ■ What guarantee have we that Boers, once brought here as prisoners, will, on the expiration of the war, want to leave? Or, if they did, would the Imperial Government transport them? Not a bit of it. Seventyfive per cent of them would remain to compete against New Zealanders. As enenfiea in war they would be simply a joke to what they are in peace. Ignorant and prejudiced, yet demons to grab, and, withal, living on "the smell of an oil-rag." < f .—■ ♦*-- ' ; Private letters from London say' that the club talk of the alleged increasing illness of the King waxes more detailed and persistent. ♦— - . ' The very keenest disappointment has been exhibited by all " rejects " from the Eighth Contingent either for the ranks or commissions. It seems an extraordinary omission to. dispense with shooting tests. It is a well-known fact that certain members of former New Zealand contingents couldn't hit a haystack, and one Cfiiistchurch man is pretty well known to have done what firing was necessary -vicariously. It is understood that the other day a South Canterbury man, without experience, offered £400 for a commission without getting it. Chorus of Delighted Continental Nations (after Tweefontein) : " Hulloa, John, we •hoped you would have caught De Wet before thds." John Bull (holding beef 'to his eye): "So I did!" ♦ . '' Six thousand people less attended Lyttelton Regatta tihis year than last. What is the reason? Too much monotony and too many pulling races of no particular interest except to rowing men. The public go to Port to see sailing, and even that is not what it used to be. Only the explosion keeps the attendance anywhere near the oldtime mark. / . ■ ♦— . ■ •/ Melbourne cricket crowds were always distinguished for an utter want not only of sportsmanlike feeling, but also of the simplest elements of fair play. During the second Test Match- they excelled themselves in abuse of the New South. Wales members of the team and exultation over their downfall. Verily, the record at the first year of Federation is a poor one! After all the tall talk and flourish of trumpets at the Commonwealth inauguration, we have had no single gleam of brotherhood or statesmanship to relieve the miserable display of parochial grab and narrow jealousy exhibited on all Bides, from Barton to tie Melbourne larrikins. ' ,

Mutual Flapdoodle.— Dick ; "So glad you've got through your first year." (Aside : " And a nice mess you've made of it, "with your tinpot tariff, White Australia, and contingent funk.") Toby: "Thanksi awfully to your splendid colony." (Aside: "Pompous old beggar! I'll best him yet.") ♦ An energetic policeman on New Year's Day at Temuka 'arrested a cyclist on the footpath, and demanded his Eame. When the reply disclosed the identity of a Supreme Court Judge, the bobby was so overcome that he immediately laid an information agajnst himself, fined himself ss, and locked himself up in default. But even this display of Spartan fortitude doesn't satisfy the B.P. of South Canterbury. What they want to know is, when the summons will be issued against his Honor.